6 year old ignores us

[LBLW0987]

I'm absolutely exhausted at the moment with telling my daughter the SAME things over and over. Each time she gets asked to do something, she does it, but the next day I have to ask all over again. Its simple things like putting school shoes on the rack, putting the lid on the toothpaste, hanging her coat up and I have explained that when I ask I'm not just asking for that day, I would like it doing every day and then the next day, there I am asking again! It may seem small but there's so many little things I'm starting to feel like I'm constantly nagging and I'm fed up of it! Any tips on getting her to listen?!

My six year old is very similar. I ask him to do things repeatedly & he takes his time, or ignores! It's very draining & I don't understand the behaviour.

There is a book that I keep meaning to read called how to talk so that kids will listen & how to listen so that kids will talk. Meant to be good.

She's six. I think you're expecting too much.

Tick lists are brilliant for this age.

Their minds are so full of the next thing they forget the now thing!

I had a laminated list of those small things for ds. He did them and ticked them off.

Before school list and after school.

When he came to me with all those things done he'd get his ds for a bit.

It helped him focus his mind on the task in hand rather than on his ds.

God I remember those days.. I could have pulled my hair out! It does pass op, hang in there

Wait about 15 years I think. I have a 6 year old doesn't actually do the thing you ask even though it is the same instruction at the same time every day. It's just being a child with no concept of time or any of the pressures that you are under.

She does listen, she does as you ask.
Expecting her to remember to do it tomorrow (of course it would e a nice thing if she did) is setting yourself up for failure. She isn't able yet to translocate today's tasks into tomorrow's. So carry on leading by example - and remember that reminding isn't nagging, you are guiding and directing her.

Toothpaste, can you get one with an attached lid?

Try to not be irritated, she is still v little.

Boring repetition for several years. Only thing that seems to work.

Also, ‘when you’ve put your shoes away, then it’s snack time’ - so you tie the action you want to the thing they want.

Does your DD do what you ask once you have made your request? Could it be that to her, the process is that Mum asks her to hang up her coat, so she does it. Almost like the request is part of her routine. The hanging up of her coat can not happen until you ask her to do it in the same way that she only puts her shoes on after she has put on her socks.

Could you try changing what you say to her to break the routine. Instead of, DD please hang up your coat, might it help to ask her if she has forgotten to do anything. That puts the impetus back on to her to work out what needs to be done, and do it. This is just something that helps my 12 year old who has LD to be a little more independent with his routines.

Ok so tomorrow say "every time you come home from school your very important job is putting your shoes on the rack".

Then every day on the way home from school you say 'now remember you have a very important job when you get back, can you remember what it is?' Give her clues if she can't. Eventually you won't need the clues and eventually you won't need the question prompt.

She just needs training and time and maturity a little.

You can then give her a sticker as an immediate reward.

Over time she can have two special jobs after school or one in the morning and one after school. Whatever it is you want to achieve you can slowly build up to.

The other option is reward chart but the pre bought ones are a bit cluttered with so many jobs to be done so make your own.
Or have a picture prompt ready by the front door so she sees it and thinks 'oh yeah put shoes on the rack'.

These things do not matter to her, therefore it is a long list of seemingly random things that she has to remember to do. As she is only 6 it is impossible for her to remember them all. (Imagine if you had to remember to clap three times after taking your shoes off, wiggle your ears before having a drink, turn around twice after turning the tv etc.)
Either you need to keep reminding her or you could trying putting up picture prompts to help her remember.
But generally you are expecting too much, and you need to decide how much you’re going to let it get to you.

If it helps my 14 year old puts his shoes on the shoe rack and hangs his coat up in the cupboard. My 11 year old puts his shoes next to the shoe rack and hangs his coat on the back of a chair. And my 7 year old leaves her coat and shoes in a pile on the floor.

@itsgettingwierd

Tick lists are brilliant for this age.

Their minds are so full of the next thing they forget the now thing!

I had a laminated list of those small things for ds. He did them and ticked them off.

Before school list and after school.

When he came to me with all those things done he'd get his ds for a bit.

It helped him focus his mind on the task in hand rather than on his ds.

My son is 19 and I have a list on the back door, so he sees it as he leaves: Make sure you have your keys your wallet your work uniform Lock the door behind you. And I STILL have to check and make sure the door is locked!!!

Chart with rewards like gold stars?

@magicstars

My six year old is very similar. I ask him to do things repeatedly & he takes his time, or ignores! It's very draining & I don't understand the behaviour.

There is a book that I keep meaning to read called how to talk so that kids will listen & how to listen so that kids will talk. Meant to be good.

I've got a class of 30 seven year olds what do this.....BLOODY EXHAUSTING

Make a visual schedule or tick list

I'm sorry to tell you but my younger two (boys) still need reminding about everything eg brush teeth, put on deodorant, unpack school bags. (They are 10 & 12). My older DD (14) is much more independent but still is in a world of her own all the time

I know it's not the worst thing but I do nag & get cross about having to remind them so much.

Yes this is normal and if something annoys you you need a visual reminder put up for them-they are far too busy learning important stuff to think about toothpaste. get some pictures printed off (twinkl is great for this) and put it up where you need it, like the bathroom etc, they will soon learn.
Also praise praise praise when they do anything right 'ooo well done, you did ..., what comes next... etc) just praise them so they enjoy it.

Make a check list with all the things she needs to do. You'll still need to remind her, but at least it will just be 'have you done everything on the list' rather than having to ask about each individual thing.

Also, pick your battles. Pick the top three that you most want to work on and then just do the other things yourself or leave them be. Get the first three reliably into the routine then add more one at a time.

If she does remember, massive praise.