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Original poster

Time off work for child's nativity?

62 replies

mag2305 · 19/11/2021 19:42

It's our son's first little nativity play coming up (first child too so we're a bit excited ) and I'm just wondering whether it's worth my husband asking for time off to see it or whether he should give another (made up) reason? My dh works in a school. The nativity would start at 9.30am so I guess he'd be back in work by 11am. What do people think?

OP posts:

dannydyerismydad · 20/11/2021 11:06

At the school I work in they would absolutely do everything they can to support a parent attending something like this. We are a very close team of staff though and will always try to work together to provide cover solutions to offer to SLT. However, due to covid absences we can't always be certain that we will have staff to cover at the moment. He can ask and offer to find a solution.

RecentYears · 20/11/2021 11:08

@JumparooSavedMyLife

My husband is a teacher, it's our daughter's first nativity too, he'd never consider asking for time off for this, I don't think his head would be impressed. Thankfully our school is doing 2 performances one in the day and one at 6pm so working parents like us can attend. I wouldn't lie, if he's caught out he could get into a lot of trouble.

He needs to ask (if he wants to go). We always allow it. It's amazing how many fathers can't possibly get the time off when mothers in the same industries seem to manage it.

Jessicabrassica · 20/11/2021 11:10

DH would have been released from his TA role in school. It's a question of give and take, isn't it? He does residentials, after school clubs and covers teacher absence for no extra pay. He is well regarded and his head is supportive. I also know some staff who do no more that the minimum expected of them and some heads who are dicks. All depends on his school and relationship within it.

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Events & celebrations

pastabest · 20/11/2021 11:43

Our tiny school that's otherwise been pretty relaxed about covid the whole way through is filming it and no parents allowed like last year.

I'm really surprised so many schools are putting on live shows for parents when our very relaxed school has decided not to.

Abraxan · 20/11/2021 11:45

It will depend on his school.

My school works really well as a team and we have always covered for one another to try and enable each other to see children's school plays, sports days, etc. My headteacher supports this fully and does what she can to let people go, wherever possible.

Frazzled2207 · 20/11/2021 11:46

@pastabest

Our tiny school that's otherwise been pretty relaxed about covid the whole way through is filming it and no parents allowed like last year.

I'm really surprised so many schools are putting on live shows for parents when our very relaxed school has decided not to.

Ours isn’t too my knowledge. They are doing a Carol concert outside in the woods

Abraxan · 20/11/2021 11:51

@Animood

Why the fuck are schools putting parents under pressure by having nativities at bloody half 9!!! Not exactly great timing is it? I'm sure when I had mine it was in the evening deliberately so that working parents and grandparents could attend

I've never known infant schools to do evening performances.

In the past we've done most shows twice, once first thing (starting as soon after 9am as we can but reality is getting the children ready makes 9:30am more realistic) and once in an afternoon (around 2:30pm) finishing a bit before home time. Our parents, as a whole, wouldn't want evening performances and too many wouldn't then be able to take part, making it not very inclusive!

This year we can only do one performance each, as each class is doing their own, instead of year groups - so we can have a live audience in and still follow our LEA guidelines. We are also filming it for those who can't attend. However, we've made sure parents know that this won't be a professional recording - it'll just be a member of staff recording on an iPad in the hall, and will be the same performance as the 'live' show.

Abraxan · 20/11/2021 11:53

Half 9 is the most ridiculous time!

And yet this is the most popular time for our school.
The majority opted for the morning showing in the past at my school, and when deciding on a time for the single showing this year the morning session was most popular amongst our parents.

Probably as it means they can just arrange to go in to work late, after the show, rather than trying to negotiate a mid afternoon (and for many work places 2:30 is just after lunch)

Obviously a lunchtime performance wouldn't work for most schools as the children also need to,eat!

percythewitch · 20/11/2021 11:55

@Angryattrackandtrace

We would grant compassionate leave for this.

Compassionate leave? For a nativity play?

Surely not.

Original poster

mag2305 · 20/11/2021 13:37

My dh is a secondary LSA so I don't know what their view will be but I guess he'll find out.
The last school I taught at, I'm not sure how accommodating the head would have been tbh. The head before her though was really good. He always said to staff, family comes first.

With regards to daytime and evening performances with little ones, I taught reception then year 1 for 10 years. We always did a daytime and evening performance. Yes, only about two thirds of the class turned up in the evening but it did give working parents a chance to see the show.

Highlight of my teaching career (not!) was when Ofsted came on the day of our year 1 Christmas evening nativity performance. We worked solidly until the children came back at 6pm. Did the show for an hour then carried on working until silly o'clock for Ofsted's return the next day. Bastards! Ha! Although maybe SLT shouldn't have made us carry on with the show either. I aged a lot that week, hehe!

OP posts:

saraclara · 20/11/2021 14:21

Far more parents than you realise don't send their DC in for evening performances, especially if they think they have insignificant parts.

That. At my DD's school (I was doing supply there at the time) they had to carefully think through the casting, as they did an afternoon and an evening performance. Having been stung before, they had to not give certain children parts that were anything other than decorative, because they knew the parents just wouldn't be bothered to bring them in.

There really is no easy answer to this. As both teacher and parent, it was a real nightmare. And of course no school staff are paid for evening events. So that's just not an option.

Good luck OP. I've been in schools where they'd try really hard to accommodate this, but of course, there's then a danger that one person is allowed to go because the class isn't stretched that day, but the next person isn't because it's not practically feasible in their class/that day. So that's a whole new can of worms that people aren't being treated equally.

So if managers have had that 'it's not fair' problem, they might well issue a blanket no to everyone.

HeyFloof · 20/11/2021 14:57

@Animood

Half 9 is slap bang in the middle of working parents mornings. Seriously, seriously daft time. Why not have it after school ends? Easy. Most parents able to come. Job done. Teacher man...

Because there's no way a lot of parents of 3/4/5 year olds would be taking them back to school at 6pm and expecting them to perform, literally. Mine wouldn't cope. And that's without finding childcare for other children. And that's without expecting teachers to give up their evenings.

Half 9 is the start of the school day, when the children are fresh, its what suits the kids best. Or afternoons, they've had lunch and a run around at dinner and are ready for the rest of the day.

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