What’s the thing called…?

[doodlejump1980]

Where it’s like harmless/inconvenient things you wish on people who have wronged you? I’m sure there was a thread recently about it, but can’t find it.

Like… May their toilet paper just be too thin to put your finger through.

May you always just miss a train.

I’m sure there are hundreds more, but needing some inspiration to make me not rise to my SIL’s latest efforts.

I don’t know what they are called but I do them with my kids all the time. One of DDs best ones was “May the skip ad button on YouTube stop working”.

May your next turd be a hedgehog

@TickledOnion

I don’t know what they are called but I do them with my kids all the time. One of DDs best ones was “May the skip ad button on YouTube stop working”.

Love it

Sort of like a fairly low level scahdenfreude?

Schadenfreude even. Stupid keypad.

My son wishes people to step on lego

@TickledOnion

I don’t know what they are called but I do them with my kids all the time. One of DDs best ones was “May the skip ad button on YouTube stop working”.

Your dd is a genius I love this 😂

@TickledOnion that's brilliant!

My stepfather once begrudgingly passed mum a glass of water during a light-hearted argument and added, 'and I hope a spec of dust went in it' he's a very mild man

May their hot beverage of choice never be at the right temperature.

I suppose they are mild curses.

May your mascara always smudge.
May your blackout curtains not quite meet in the middle.
May your Christmas tree lights always be tangled.

May your necklace clasp be slightly too fiddly.
May your watch be slightly too tight.
May your rings be slightly too loose.
May your phone volume be slightly too quiet on phone calls, but May it ring twice as loudly in the middle of the night.
May your tap drip, your fridge hum, and your clock tick slowly so it's always off beat.
May your Amazon delivery never come on your Amazon day and your food delivery always come with at least 5 substitutions.
May your computer always need to install an update.
May your printer always be running low on ink.
May your doorbell be temperamental so that it never goes off when you need it to, but sometimes goes off for no reason at all.
& May all your pickle jars be tight.

May your speedometer by out by 3 miles so you always get a ticket, but never hurt anyone.
May your IPhone always be in low battery mode within 5 minutes of coming off charge.
May your bin bags always split.
May the train always be busy so you have to stand.

May they always get your coffee order very slightly wrong or spell your name wrong on the cup.
May you always get sauce on your shirt every time you eat a butty.
May your fish and chips always be slightly soggy, slightly cold and take slightly too long to come.
May your Chinese be slightly too sweet, slightly too spicy and always have extra rice instead of salt and pepper chips
May the zippers on your new handbags always break.
May your new trainers always pinch on the pinky and give you a blister.
& May your hairdresser always mess up your cut just a bit.

Yes! These are exactly what I was thinking! Thankyou!

May both sides of your pillow always be hot.

May you always get stuck at a junction for that fraction too long.
May your volume 3 be too quiet but 4 too loud
May the remote alway be on the other side of the room.
May you always spill your breakfast on your smart top.
May you always been a penny off the free delivery.
May you notice the glaring typo as you click post or send.
May your tumble dried clothes be just the wrong side of damp, after you've got them out.

Some people have clearly thought about this too long - and used them often.😆

amusedbush wins the thread for me

@thereisonlyoneofme

amusedbush wins the thread for me

I can't think of anything more miserable than a life of uncomfortably hot pillow

Hot pillow is definitely the worst.

May every self service till you’re at have a problem so you have to call for assistance and the assistant is nowhere in sight for ages.

May all your phone chargers have to be bent at just the right angle in order to work.

May your house keys never be where you thought you left them.

May every bottle of red wine that you drink dribble a bit onto your coaster.

May the next loaf of sliced bread that you buy have an improperly sliced end crust.

May the ring-pull on the next tin you open break off so you have to try to get a tin-opener through the kind of tin not designed for a tin-opener.

May the plastic handle on the next pack of loo rolls you buy break so you have to juggle them back to the boot of your car.

Found some more…

May you always step in a wet spot after putting on fresh socks.

May both sides of your pillow be warm.

May your chair produce a sound similar to a
fart, but only once, such that you cannot
reproduce it to prove that it was just the
chair.

May you always get up from your
computer with your headphones
still attached.

May your spoon always slip and sink
under the hot soup you eat.

May your life be as pleasant as you are.

May there always be one less step on the stairs than you’d expect.

May you always drop your keys as you go to unlock a door.

May you always clip your fingernails too short.

May you dribble toothpaste on your black work top just before leaving the house

May the last hula hoop in your packet be one without any flavouring on it

(that second one is not a trivial matter imho)

@PlinkPlankPlunk love your user name! A fellow Leroy Anderson fan/string player?