Never had workmen before feeling stressed for no reason

[HairsprayBabe]

I've booked to have our old back boiler removed and replaced with a shiny new combi next week plus a system flush - I've never had work men in before, everything we have done to the house we have DIYed.

I feel stupidly anxious about the whole thing, how much mess will it make, how do I not appear like a weirdo, how do I interact with the boiler men without my dad there.

I'm nearly 30 with a toddler and a baby on the way but this has made me feel like an incompetent flailing child

Can anyone else relate or am I a total weirdo

All normal people hate having workmen in the house. It’s bad enough having them in the garden.
You just offer them tea with as much sugar as they want and keep out of the way.

I'm terrified of workmen. A couple of times they have made judgy comments and refused my snacks. That is all, and is not enough for this full blown phobia I have but yes.

My DH “workman” is just a normal loving family man, and that is how to treat the Gas Safe Registered Heating Engineer …… just as a normal person. There will be a bit of mess and upheaval but it won’t be for long as quite frankly they’re all so busy they’ll want to be moving on to the next job.
My DH would normally refuse tea and sugar ( only drinks earl grey) and snacks as he takes all those things for himself anyway.

They’ve all been very nice people, but you just can’t relax with them around.

I'm sure the boiler men will be lovely, it's me being a strange person and not behaving like a normal human I am concerned about 🤦‍♀️

No you’re not a weirdo! It’s horrible having workmen, having to be up and ready for their arrival, then being stuck in all day whilst they work, making endless cups of tea/biscuits and them using the loo!
My top tips are to make sure you’ve got a supply of old mugs which you don’t mind getting chipped, and also some random old teaspoons and cutlery as if they ask for a fork or spoon to eat their lunch you never get them back! Also cheapo loo roll, soap and some old hand towels in the toilet.

Hate it too, years and years of house renovations on.
Boiler replacement is very straightforward though. Make them a cuppa then leave them to get on with it, they won’t be interested in conversation either, time is money.

Don’t worry. I’m sure they see all sorts of weird people, and houses where the owner has to clear a narrow path through all the mess to get to the boiler, for example.
I was still frightened of all sorts of things at your age, such as knowing what to ask for in the butcher’s. It’s just something you get used to.

Hi @HairsprayBabe Please don’t worry. We meet so many people in our jobs and the only ones that raise an eyebrow are the ones who look down on us, tell us how to do the job or don’t offer tea. If you’re friendly, quiet, chatty or just make a cuppa and leave them to it all they care about is doing the job and getting home for dinner. We don’t mind questions, or if you need things a little quiet for a nap time let us know in the morning so we can plan around it if possible. I’m not a workman but I run construction sites and deal lots with all of our clients, I’ve met a tonne of workmen in my time and it’s very rare I meet someone who isn’t a decent person.

In my experience heating people are always nice. They are in and out of stranger’s houses all day and they’re used to it. We’ve used the same company for years and years, our usual repair man was the apprentice when we started using them. Just have a quick chat when he arrives and then say “I’ll leave you to it” and tell him where you will be if he needs anything. Tell him where the loo is. Make it clear you are fine with him using it. Then after an hour or two, or whenever you’re making a drink for yourself offer him one. Then either tell him to help himself through the rest of the day or offer whenever it seems natural. He will probably need to check all the radiators so make sure you’re happy with him going in all the rooms and see that the radiators are easy to get to.

Don’t offer him tea in some horrible chipped mug when you’re drinking out of your best China, he’s a human being not some clumsy oaf who can’t hold a drink safely.

@HairsprayBabe

I'm sure the boiler men will be lovely, it's me being a strange person and not behaving like a normal human I am concerned about 🤦‍♀️

Haha. That's how most people act so you are very normal. Workmen do try and be as unobtrusive as possible but no one likes having them in the house. It's a very stressful experience. (And in my case as they arrive, I always notice a multitude of things I should have cleaned!)

Oh I hate having workmen in my house. I always want my dad there too 🤣. He always knows what to do and say and I just feel like an idiot.

Ignore the sucking in of teeth and muttering. It's the first thing they learn. My OH is a tradesman and it stresses me out when he does anything around our house (always related to work done before he lived here) as within 10 mins I'm convinced the house is about to fall down. It isn't.

Pleasantness, a cup of tea/coffee being offered and then hide somewhere (although I do not offer OH tea since he criticised my tea making abilities (or lack thereof))

@Orchid18
Cheapo loo roll! That has made my day.

Same here, horrible
Last work we had was truly awful, stress wise. Yeah the boiler was fine. It was: gutters,soffits,new conservatory roof,then we thought made sense to have the conservatory

We’ve recently had a lot of work done, 3 separate sets of work men.

It’s always awkward. They’ve been great though, pleasant, polite, happy to (briefly) interact with the kids. Accepted minimal cups of tea and didn’t need to use the facilities.

Still awkward as fuck though. Even though one guy was a friend of a friend.

and none of them commented about me being in pjs and a hoody until it was school pick up time! (I wfh and start at 4am, I get dressed when I’ve finished!)

Panels, windows,door done while I was working. It was all 25, years old. We used the same company who did our other doors and windows,had no qualms. They said the conservatory would take 3 days,it took 3 weeks. They breezed in an 9.30 mid morning tea break, fag break,lunch and gone by 3. Loads and loads of stuff you probably don't need to hear about. This is the only DIY stuff the DH doesn't do. He could have fitted the boiler then just got a gas Safe engineer to link it to the gas supply. Same company used to service the boiler, always left something, even if it was the temp control and our boiler is in the loft!

Sorry to bring the C word into this but given the times we’re in… they should be bringing flasks and sorting themselves out with tea or coffee.

I detest the standard MN responses that the woman, it’s always the woman, should be providing hot drinks, biscuits, snacks and so on.

Ah, feel better to have got that off my chest!

Let them in, make them a cup of tea and go do your own thing.

@tanstaafl

Sorry to bring the C word into this but given the times we’re in… they should be bringing flasks and sorting themselves out with tea or coffee.

I detest the standard MN responses that the woman, it’s always the woman, should be providing hot drinks, biscuits, snacks and so on.

Ah, feel better to have got that off my chest!

Why? Most people wash cups after someone has used them, don’t they? It’s DH providing tea to workmen here as he works from home and I don’t.

@Chemenger I didn’t mean give them chipped mugs, just ones that I don’t mind if they do get chipped if they’re clonked down on a hard surface.
@MrsJamPanMan we’ve had workers here for about 5 months in the last year. Their morning routine was to arrive in their van after an hour’s drive then promptly go and have a dump before starting work. I usually buy the naice embossed rolls, but soon swapped to cheapo as they were also using reams of it when they wanted to mop anything up 😵‍💫

@tanstaafl

Sorry to bring the C word into this but given the times we’re in… they should be bringing flasks and sorting themselves out with tea or coffee.

I detest the standard MN responses that the woman, it’s always the woman, should be providing hot drinks, biscuits, snacks and so on.

Ah, feel better to have got that off my chest!

Unless you’re going to lick the cup they’ve used clean rather than washing it like a normal person you’re not at risk of COVID from it. What next? Whoever is in the house provides the coffee, in the OP’s case we’re assuming she’s a woman. My DH offers drinks if it happens to be him that is here, it’s more often me but that’s not gender based it’s just easier for me to be at home.

I just leave them with tea making facilities (kettle/mugs/milk etc) & biscuits - they can help themselves without bothering me. Ignore them until they need a decision. Usually a quick 'how is everything going?' every couple of hours keeps them on track.