Working mum: how do I look less dishevelled?

[december2020]

DH took a picture of me this evening with DS (almost 1) and I was shocked to see how dishevelled I look.

I currently WFH most days and I don't need to be dressed to the nines with a face full of slap but how the hell do I find the middle ground?

For context: it's nothing DH has said or any external pressure - I just want to find a bit of "me" again.

My general hygiene is fine I just don't seem to find the opportunity to tidy myself up enough to look naturally put together (like blow drying my hair and having a fresh face).

And how the hell do you get good skin? (I drink water, have a skincare routine with wash, toner and face oil).

Please give me your tips and tricks. I'd like to find me again.

Get a fab haircut. I have a fantastic one now after far too many years just doing a mum bun or scrappy ponytail. Now it’s short and it NEEDS blow dried but literally takes less than 15 mins to dry and straighten and only needs done twice a week. It makes me look more polished and professional IMO. For Minimal effort.

Moisturise

Bathrobe belt curls - google it, lasts for a good 3 days

Get dressed in something you love - casual is fine, but feel good

1 bit of makeup- Lipgloss works for me, for my sister it's mascara

Gel Polish - DIY takes 20 mins, lasts 2 weeks. I'm on a laptop all day so look at my nails a lot!

Wear perfume

Ask yourself why, in this shitty sexist country, a woman who has given life to a new human and works as well should be forced to have to care so much more about their appearance than their dh does?

No one is forcing her @PickUpAPepper. She wants to.

I just got online and ordered 2 pairs of pants exactly the same. Having a uniform of sorts helps me. I actually have become rather set in my ways and will buy the same clothes just to replace what wears out. Work uniform, mum uniform, same dresses different colours. I buy things 2 at a time. Eg 1 black linen top, 1 white Linen top. Same brands of shoes and boots. Honestly I’m about to buy a new black handbag exactly the same as a mustard one I already own.

@jackstini

Moisturise

Bathrobe belt curls - google it, lasts for a good 3 days

Get dressed in something you love - casual is fine, but feel good

1 bit of makeup- Lipgloss works for me, for my sister it's mascara

Gel Polish - DIY takes 20 mins, lasts 2 weeks. I'm on a laptop all day so look at my nails a lot!

Wear perfume

What gel polish are you using? Mine barely lasts a week when I DIY them!

@Welcomebacksummer - Sensationail. Aldi have got some deals on 

https://www.aldi.co.uk/search?text=Sensationail&category=ALL

And I don't skimp on the prep - makes a massive difference!

@Frannibananni - agree with the 'uniform' I have a few dresses that I can wear bare legs in sumner, opaque tights/leggings in winter. I CBA to match tops and bottoms

I've found tinted eyebrows makes me feel a whole lot more done whether I'm wearing make up or not. I now get them waxed and tinted at a salon every 6 weeks but tint them at home in between.

I cut my hair into a pixie cut so I didn't have to style it at all but it still looks 'done' (although I accept that this isn't for everyone).

I pencil in my eyebrows and dust some light face powder on so that I look half decent for unexpected video calls and the school run without wearing a full face of make up.

I like to be comfortable wfh but don't want to slob about so I wear leggings and a vest top but have a selection of nice soft cardigans and jumpers that I throw on top to dress it up a bit.

Skin I think is just genetic but I've noticed good things by using a hyularonic acid cleanser.

I wear a tiny bit of concealer on some some damaged skin on one cheek, mascara and blusher every day and that gives me a boost. I wash my hair every two days and wet it a bit and straighten it on the in between day (it takes less than 5 minutes). I find having about 5 to 7 good to good outfits that work for me. Then I am not wearing the same thing all the time and don’t spend long thinking of what to wear as I just grab an outfit and think I’ll wear the others another day. So for the OP a few outfits/tops in colours that suit her and make her feel good would work.
I nearly always wear earrings.
I have nice skin, I use mostly the Nivea Q10 range and a couple of Clinique products too.
I tint my eyebrows at home once a week, this makes a big difference to my appearance and Is really cheap. I agree about wearing some perfume, I have a couple of bottles of different Lidl ones for everyday use. It’s the same with hand cream, using it always makes me feel nice.

Uniform for clothes - try and carve out half a day to tootle around Pinterest etc and see what you like. Google those looks. Buy a few basics, then gradually build it.

Figure out what’s wrong w your skin - is it dry or dehydrated or what? Google around that. Sali Hughes is good. Buy some chemist basics, experiment to see what works.

Go to a Bobbi brown or laura mercier counter and Book an everyday makeover and get a simple 5 min routine - tinted moisturiser, eyebrow pencil, blush sorta thing. Get your eyebrows shaped and filled in- makes a massive difference.

Hair. Depends on your hair. Google around what would be easy to maintain and experiment. Get a decent cut. Don’t kid yourself on how much you are willing to do, keep it simple.

Do you need to spend a bit more time on yourself? Do you eat properly and have an exercise routine? If not gradually address that.

A good bag and a nice perfume are always a lift. C’mas present of the bag. Have a fun day in a city with a proper perfume shop choosing one?

Don’t expect to fix it in a week, do it over a year.
Don’t spend too much till you know what you want
Be very strict with yourself about buying clothes and routines for the life you actually have - heels, high maintenance hair cuts, and spendy gell manicures aren’t going to be sustainable

Oh yes - and get some simple small earrings - hoops or whatever you like on your present list.

I just put some concealer powder under my dark eye bags and then make sure my hair is brushed and pinned up as neatly as possible. Nice jewelry and when I had lost the baby weight from my last child (I'm not having more) I splashed out on some clothes I love so I always feel good about what I'm wearing. So I don't do much but it makes me feel better about how exhausted I look!

If you give up sugar for a week - completely - and continue to drink loads of water, your skin will look amazing.

'Uniform' here too. Morning shower not negotiable, and always wash hair (it's short) and blow dry, moisturiser on, minimal make up ( literally just enough to look ok on a video call as it tends to wash me out) nails short and in good nick (rarely varnished because I don't think it looks nice on me)
I wear a comfortable, clean and smart top and jeans/ black trousers usually. I don't have too many clothes and that really helps. Look up project 333 - it's about creating a capsule wardrobe which you can rotate with the seasons. Morning routine takes less than half an hour.
Also I keep water on my desk in a pretty flask, and take a multi vitamin with breakfast.
I plan to add a walk round the block to my morning routine but not worked out the logistics yet.
I've also got better at sensible bedtime and up early enough in the morning ( before everyone else is a brilliant habit to get into)

Everything everyone said about water, vitamins, moisturiser etc.

What also helped me:
Eyelash dye (do my own)
Dermalogica blurring primer
Hyralaunic acid am & pm
Keep a lip balm/gloss on my desk and reapply regularly

Pureology Smooth Perfection Smoothing Serum