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Original poster

Bridesmaids, what do we cover?

17 replies

ImInStealthMode · 17/11/2021 21:52

Hello! I know there's a specific wedding board but it's not exactly Piccadilly levels of traffic so here we are.

We're getting married next year and I have 4 bridesmaids, 2 adults and 2 family teens.

Obviously we'll get their dresses and flowers, but what else is expected? I'd get shoes if I wanted them to have specific ones but the venue demands sandals or wedges which I'm sure they all already have in a neutral colour (if not of course we'll buy some).

It's been a while since I was a bridesmaid so I'm not sure what else we need to sort for them in terms of make up / hair / gifts etc?

Grateful for any advice. Just to note, in case it makes a difference, I don't expect anything particular of them in advance of the day itself, and am not having a hen-do so they're free from arranging that too.

Thanks in advance.

OP posts:
roses2 · 17/11/2021 22:02

Anything you are asking that's specific to your wedding. Eg dress, shoes if you are specifying which ones. Hair and make up if you want want a specific look etc

HalfShrunkMoreToGo · 17/11/2021 22:03

Anything that they would need to pay for just to meet your need should be covered by you so yes to dress and shoes, also if you want hair done by a stylist or professional makeup or staying over in a hotel the night before.

I always find it so rude when someone expects me to shell out loads of money to attend their wedding, even more so when I'm expected to spend a fortune to spend my day fawning over them and following them around doing jobs for them to fulfil their dream wedding image.

delilahbucket · 17/11/2021 22:05

I paid for dresses and hair for those that had it done (two didn't). I also got little shrugs for the girls in case it turned cold. They could wear whatever shoes they wanted and did their own make up (I did my own too).
I think if you want something specific then you pay for it.

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VaguelyInteresting · 17/11/2021 22:06

Budget for shoes for them. If a winter wedding, a shawl or wrap.

If you want to, hair/make up but that would be unusually generous (or controlling, depending on your perspective).

It would be good manners to get a token thank you gift and card.

MimiSunshine · 17/11/2021 22:06

I’d just tell them to wear whatever shoes they like / already have. You don’t need to pay for them.

Hair and make up. Are you having yours professionally done? Can you afford to cover all 5 of you?
If not then just be honest and say so, if you can, it’s on average £50-£100 per person, so a big expense for a bridal party of 5. Then great but if you can’t then don’t worry about it, it’s not an absolute must that you do.

Gifts, a small token again is fine. I bought a couple of little things to totalling £20 pp for mine.

Jabvribt · 17/11/2021 22:08

I covered hair as I wanted them to have their hair done nicely but I gave them the option to pay for their own make up or do it themselves. I paid for dresses but said whatever shoes to go with it that they wanted to wear

Africa2go · 17/11/2021 22:12

Dresses, shoes, make up, hair, flowers, little gift. Hotel accommodation for the night before if they're not local and you want them there for getting ready etc.

Bellevu · 17/11/2021 22:16

Clothes, shoes, hair, make up and accommodation for night before and night of the wedding if not local.

Plus a thank you gift after getting back from the honeymoon

Original poster
ImInStealthMode · 17/11/2021 22:24

Thank you. All very local so no long distance travel cost or hotels, and transport to and back from the wedding venue is all covered for them.

I don't have any specific requests for their hair or make-up. The 2 adults are both very good at doing their own (which I am absolutely not, so I'll be having mine done professionally).

OP posts:
Original poster
ImInStealthMode · 17/11/2021 22:27

spend my day fawning over them and following them around doing jobs for them to fulfil their dream wedding image

Yikes there'll be none of that @HalfShrunkMoreToGo!

I've asked them to be my bridesmaids in recognition of our long friendship / family ties. I don't expect any jobs from them, me and (soon to be) DH are capable of all the prep ourselves and the day itself is going to be very casual.

OP posts:
ISeeTheLight · 17/11/2021 22:31

At a minimum you should pay for everything if you want something specific - eg if you WANT them to get their hair/makeup done you should pay. If you want them to wear certain shoes, jewellery etc again you should pay. Everything else is optional IMO and depends on whether you can afford it.

Our wedding is in 2023. We'll be paying for their dresses, hair (only if they want it), makeup (again only if they want it), flowers and I may get them all a necklace (although one of them has a skin allergy and cab only wear solid gold etc so I may change my mind on that). I want them to wear their own shoes so they can choose something comfortable. Also accommodation but we're paying for accommodation for all our guests anyway.

When I was a bridesmaid I got dress, hair and makeup from the couple. Flowers of course. Present was a bracelet on the day. Paid for our own accommodation though.

yumyumpoppycat · 17/11/2021 22:37

Yes you pay for the things you want done to a certain specification. I wouldn't assume most teens have dressy sandals or wedges particularly ones that will match their dresses. Also unless you are happy for them just to wear their hair in the usual way you should offer to pay for it to be styled.

Sosigsandwich · 17/11/2021 22:42

We paid for dresses, shoes, hair, make up, jewellery (which was their gift) and accommodation

qualitygirl · 17/11/2021 22:45

I paid for everything from top to toe...it was also a destination wedding for them so I paid the flights and hotel on the night before and the night of the wedding.

Original poster
ImInStealthMode · 17/11/2021 22:57

@yumyumpoppycat

Yes you pay for the things you want done to a certain specification. I wouldn't assume most teens have dressy sandals or wedges particularly ones that will match their dresses. Also unless you are happy for them just to wear their hair in the usual way you should offer to pay for it to be styled.

If they don't already have (and that's what they want) then we'll buy their shoes of course. We're equally happy for them to wear their converse or flip-flops under their long dresses if that's what they're comfortable in though.

OP posts:
yumyumpoppycat · 18/11/2021 23:22

Ah that sounds perfect then - nice they can choose. Best wishes for your wedding!

playmelikeasymphony · 18/11/2021 23:27

When I was a bridesmaid for my sister she paid for my dress (including having it a seamstress make a significant amount of alterations to accommodate my disability) make up and hair. Everyone but me already had appropriate shoes but I bought my own. Two (out of four) of us had our nails done with her the day before but paid for that ourselves.

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