Do you spend all your time working?

OLDnightmare · 2021-11-17T20:05:49+00:00

I’ve been doing long hours at work for at least a year including evening and weekend work. Haven’t taken many breaks due to the pandemic. I feel run down and exhausted. Haven’t seen many friends or family. Haven’t really spent much time on myself. I don’t even have kids. Is this normal? I feel like I’ve lost myself and my way.

ThesecondLEM · 17/11/2021 20:46

Time to take stock - what have you always wanted to do?

LoveComesQuickly · 17/11/2021 20:49

Where is the pressure coming from to work such long hours? From your boss, your colleagues, your clients, yourself? Do your colleagues work similar hours or do you go above and beyond? Are you ambitious or conscientious?

MushroomHunter · 17/11/2021 21:09

Yes I work 65/70 hours a week in hospitality and have done so for the last 6 years. I am run down and it’s had a terrible affect on my mental health and all my relationships.

I handed in my notice for a normal 9-5 and I can’t wait, it’s such a relief. It’s no way to live and not worth it.

thedevilinablackdress · 17/11/2021 21:14

No, it's not normal. I'm paid for 37.5 hours a week and that's what I work.
Even if you're a nurse in a Covid ward, working yourself into the ground will help no-one in the long run.

pastaparadise · 17/11/2021 21:18

Yes. I only work part time 2.5 days, but do a lot of unpaid overtime in the evenings. NHS. I think the system wouldn't manage without it. Rubbish though and I'm trying to cut down.

Wombat46 · 17/11/2021 21:18

My first job was at a big corporate firm. They let people choose annual leave. After a while stated people did need to take some, as people were not taking breaks and going a bit bonkers.

I barely work as it exhausts me. I think you'll only realise how your mental health is affected in hindsight.

Harlequin1088 · 17/11/2021 21:20

Yes. I'm self-employed and regularly work 60 hours a week as I'm keen not to starve to death.

Luredbyapomegranate · 17/11/2021 21:22

Yes, it's common in lots of industries.

Can you book a holiday?

And book a counsellor (meet 3, see who appeals) to figure out why you are doing this eg you work in a long hours industry / you are avoiding loneliness / using work to manage anxiety etc

chairbythewindow · 17/11/2021 21:23

Yes I do. Currently off with COVID and still worked 8 hours today. Haven't been able to recruit this year - jobs advertised three and four times before managing to get someone on board. I have got two new people in the pipeline and I can't wait to work closer to 40 hours a week rather than 60.

nc198567 · 17/11/2021 21:26

Yeh sure. Before I had kids, I had a career. I'd often do a 60 hour week, then I'd go in to the office at the weekends to study for professional exams.

I remember one week, when I was in my early 20s, I was running a project to a tight deadline. I did 100 hours in the office that week. The following week I got ill and needed a few days in bed. I was completely wiped out and my body and mind couldn't take it!

It was exhausting, but I had no other responsibilities and I wanted to climb the corporate ladder. It was all self-motivated. No pressure from my boss/work.

Shehasadiamondinthesky · 17/11/2021 21:26

I'm a medical professional in the NHS and i'm 60 and I thought I'd be getting more tired as I got older but somehow I have more energy than ever and don't ever really feel tired.
I suppose it's because I'm never bored. Boredom is a killer.

FrazzledCareerWoman · 17/11/2021 21:35

Ahhh
Yes
Pretty much all I do is work , sleep, I do fit in exercise as other wise I'd go crazy but I usually work;

9-7 Monday to Wednesday in office (1hour commute so out 8-8). Gym 6.30-7.30am & straight to 8am train

8-6/7 Thursday and Friday from home
Sometimes also thu in office

Usually about 3 hours on a Sunday
Saturday too if busy week
So usually too tired to do much in the way of socialising or anything

Haven't had any time off since august, not even a weekend. Still have to check emails on holiday and respond / work if urgent stuff comes up . Sucks but no alternative, as am main earner

GTAlogic · 17/11/2021 21:35

Before I had children I was a full-time class teacher and I worked until I got everything finished. It took as long as it took, sometimes 50+ hours a week. When I got pregnant and was exhausted I cut it right back to only doing as much as necessary and some things just didn't get done. I've been a supply teacher since then and leave before 4p.m. every day.

When you take a step back you realise how much it affects your mental and physical health. Is work worth it? Probably not, even if you love your job. My sibling works with elderly people and often tells me of people who have worked hard, long hours for their whole adult lives, telling themselves they'll enjoy their retirement but when the time comes their bodies are too knackered and they can't do much at all.

Minceandonions · 17/11/2021 21:36

No. I'd rather leave my career and stack shelves (not that there's anything wrong with stacking shelves), rather than live a lifestyle where work is my sole focus.

Fupoffyagrasshole · 17/11/2021 21:37

No - used to and it was awful I had no life ! Now I work 35 hours and that’s it never a minute more in my new job!

user0176 · 17/11/2021 21:40

No, I'm contracted to work 37 hours a week so that's what I do (I actually work more due to flexi but I take it off regularly) senior manager, but I think work life balance is really important (for me, my family and my job- I'm better at the latter two when I'm not knackered!)

thedevilinablackdress · 17/11/2021 21:46

I only work part time 2.5 days, but do a lot of unpaid overtime in the evenings. NHS. I think the system wouldn't manage without it

This is so illogical to me. If you're really that important and need to work so many hours then you should be getting paid for them. It's not doing the system/NHS any favours in the long run - if you're suddenly not able to work then they realise it actually takes a full time person to do that job. And why would you work for free?
I work for the NHS and am proud to do so, but I should still be paid for the work I do.

TowerOfGiraffes · 17/11/2021 23:48

You will get burned out. You need to take a minimum of two weeks of annual leave together to recover properly. I worked 80-100 hours weeks for a decade but that was before children or other demands on my time. It still left my health shot to pieces in the end, because even on annual leave people would contact me. If you work really long hours you have to have proper breaks totally away from work to make it sustainable.

Titsywoo · 17/11/2021 23:53

Yes but I run my own business which is doing very well. I do worry about getting burned out and have been on the verge a few times in the last 2 years. I wouldn't do it for a company that wasn't my own though unless I was working towards several promotions!

TowerOfGiraffes · 18/11/2021 00:14

It depends also what kind of hours you're talking about, OP. 50-60 hours is normal in lots of professions these days (sadly - I don't think this is a good thing! But it's manageable). When it is more than that for a sustained period, it really takes a toll and you either need to move to another role or put mitigating measures in place in your home life to make it manageable.

TowerOfGiraffes · 18/11/2021 00:16

@thedevilinablackdress

I only work part time 2.5 days, but do a lot of unpaid overtime in the evenings. NHS. I think the system wouldn't manage without it

This is so illogical to me. If you're really that important and need to work so many hours then you should be getting paid for them. It's not doing the system/NHS any favours in the long run - if you're suddenly not able to work then they realise it actually takes a full time person to do that job. And why would you work for free?
I work for the NHS and am proud to do so, but I should still be paid for the work I do.

In a salaried role mostly there is no overtime pay: contracts require it "when required" just for the contractual salary. So employers can demand you manage a workload that cannot be managed within the contractual hours and you need to do it to fulfil the contract.

FrazzledCareerWoman · 18/11/2021 07:13

@TowerOfGiraffes

"In a salaried role mostly there is no overtime pay: contracts require it "when required" just for the contractual salary. So employers can demand you manage a workload that cannot be managed within the contractual hours and you need to do it to fulfil the contract."

Yes exactly. I dream of having a fixed hours role but they tend to be very low pay

bumblingbovine49 · 18/11/2021 07:34

@nc198567

Yeh sure. Before I had kids, I had a career. I'd often do a 60 hour week, then I'd go in to the office at the weekends to study for professional exams.

I remember one week, when I was in my early 20s, I was running a project to a tight deadline. I did 100 hours in the office that week. The following week I got ill and needed a few days in bed. I was completely wiped out and my body and mind couldn't take it!

It was exhausting, but I had no other responsibilities and I wanted to climb the corporate ladder. It was all self-motivated. No pressure from my boss/work.

My early career in my 20s and 30s was like this . In my first job I remember sleeping under the desks in the office a couple of nights as there was no point going home as I'd stayed working into the early hours . In my later jobs I regularly worked 70-80 hour weeks and more sometimes . Getting taxis home having worked until 1-2am on tight deadlines was a regular occurrence. The company always paid for them so there was some acknowledgement that it was not just me but the work . Looking back I think now it was a mixture of my perfectionism and ADHD and working in a very deadline driven industry and also taking on new projects and things that had never really been done before ( which was scary but gave me a rush as well)

The work did make me ill really in the end and I was not happy about it much of the time. At the same time some.of my best achiements in my career and which I look back in awe of were completed in those conditions. So I have mixed feelings about it really. I'm too old to work like that anymore but I still end up working too many hours but more like 40 a week rather than the 30 I am paid for. I have come to realisation that this is mostly me though as I still struggle with my ADHD and my perfectionism at work but I am a lot better than I was, plus I changed careers to a much less pressurised one which helped a lot.

Yesthatscorrect · 18/11/2021 07:42

No I don't. I love my job and do my best for my customers. I ensure everything they need is done for them but once the 24 hours im paid for is up then I walk away.

I then focus on my kids, husband, making the house nice, booking activities so we have nice social lives, managing money, booking and organising holidays etc.

I have to admit I rarely think about my kids at work as I know I have plenty of time to focus on them at home.

I can't see that changing.

thedevilinablackdress · 18/11/2021 07:42

I dream of having a fixed hours role but they tend to be very low pay

But if like several people on this thread, if you're writing 80+ hours a week, are your actually being paid that well for your time - if you liked at the hourly rate.
I get going over and above on occasion, but not all the time. That's just exploitative IMO, no matter how 'well' you are paid. It wrings people out and makes them ill.