Ds14 is a bit of a worrier. Was quite badly bullied between the ages of 9 and 12, lots of social anxiety, family circumstances mean he doesn't have many decent male role models in his life.
He joined a pipe band a while back, he's learning the drums.
Oh my goodness, he has found himself with the nicest bunch of people.
There are 6 drummers, an old guy in his 80s called Mike, 2 probably in their 40s, 50s, Tom who's just had his 21st birthday, has some additional needs and is supported by his dad every week, my ds and another teenager. Then there are the pipers who ds doesn't know quite so well.
They are the most random assortment of people but they are some of the kindest people to have come into ds's life and I'm just so grateful.
Mike has been playing since he was 10. He can't carry a drum any more so never marches but comes along to teach the new drummers. Imagine having done something for 70+ years and still pitching up every week to share your knowledge.
I suspect they spend as much time chatting as playing. I often wonder what on earth such an odd group of people can talk about but ds tells me on Monday they talked about covid vaccine passports, how ds should best structure his study plans for his upcoming exams, shared a birthday cake, speculated on how sick the queen actually is, discussed the best way to dry out your phone when you'd dropped it down the toilet, someone's new adopted rescue dog, our elderly rescue cats....
It makes me feel all warm inside. I imagine this is the sort of chat you might have with your dad if he was interested, or your grandad if he didn't have dementia, or your classmates in the canteen at lunchtime if you weren't so paralysed by the worry of saying the wrong thing.
He has found his people. They're a bizarre assortment of people, but they are so kind to him and at long last he feels part of something.
He says he loves going there because they never laugh at him no matter what he says, they are always helpful to Mike, making sure he doesn't have to carry his drum anywhere and his seat is comfortable for his sore back, they always make sure Tom understands what's going on and can join in even if they have to explain it a few times.
None of these things are exceptional, they're just what normal, kind, considerate human beings should do for each other. But for us, for ds and his confidence and self-esteem it's just amazing.
I'm going to write them a card for Christmas with something telling them the difference they have made. I spoke to Tom's dad the other day and said how them welcoming ds into their group made me want to cry and he said he had cried many a time about their kindness to his boy.
And that's it, a completely pointless post about warm, welcoming, non-judgemenal friendship. I am so grateful.