Confusing Text Etiquette

[Lotusmonster]

Does anyone else struggle with text message etiquette?

Couple of examples.

• Had to cancel meeting with friend last week due to illness. Friend texts today to ask how I am. I respond with update, friend immediately reads text but doesn’t reply at all…..what to think? Being nosey but doesn’t care?

• DD has anxiety and MH issues. Send a text ‘How you doing?’ ..again, reads the message but doesn’t answer. Alarm bells start ringing.

This happens a lot to me….does it happen to others? What do you do when people read but don’t reply? I find this digital stuff and etiquette genuinely hard to understand and interpret.

I don't reply immediately, for a variety of reasons. Sometimes I forget and it could be days later, it doesn't mean anything.
My teenagers think you have to respond immediately, otherwise you are "dodging" the sender - that's not the case at all for me!
I remember the days when you didn't even know if your text was received, let alone read. All this immediacy is very tiring.

W*hat do you do when people read but don't reply?
*
Nothing I assume they're busy and will get back to me in their own time - or not 🤷🏼‍♀️

I do it all the time, read a message on my Apple Watch when I'm at work and then don't reply until later that night until I'm finally sitting down, if it's not something I need to reply to immediately. It doesn't mean anything bad, just that I'm prioritising other things at that moment.

I often don't reply straightaway - its quick to read a text, but can take me ages to compose a text so I leave it for later when I have time to deal with it.
I don't feel like text requires an immediate response - that's what phone calls are for.
Text or whatsapp means I can respond when I feel like it... Might be straightaway, might be tomorrow...

I suppose communication has to ‘work’ for both sides. I am thinking for the peeps that read but don’t reply of just ringing them and not doing text. I once had one friend who texted out of blue for an update on a hefty long-standing matter that they’d been interested in. Gave them a text reply and then never got any response.??? I thought that was v weird and frankly rude.

This is why I often leave messages unread and just look at the preview in my notifications if I'm busy! I don't want someone worrying about/getting cross I haven't replied already but if I'm working or with my young children I often don't have the time or headspace to get into a reply about something unrelated to the task in hand at that very moment.

The beauty of messages is that you don’t have to reply straight away as you would in a face to face conversation.

Being able to tell when someone has read a message causes far more harm than good.

She might be busy. People don’t usually sit around thinking “I’m deliberately not going to reply to that text to upset my friend” as far as I can tell.

I would turn off read receipts, then you won’t know if/when someone has read a message.

So I can rationalise people not responding to my texts ASAP, for various reasons. But it's when they initiate a question, I respond promptly..then THEY either massively delay or don't respond at all!!

Your reply answered their question, although a thanks would be nice.

I got rid of the blue "read" ticks as soon as they were a thing. I do not want anyone to know when I have read their message, I will read and reply to them when I choose without them engaging in thought processes like this. I also have absolutely no wish to know if or when people have read my messages, I have no interest in this whatsoever. You need to develop a bit of a thicker skin OP.