Does real happiness exist

[Mumofboys456]

My little boy said to me yesterday "you're never really happy" it has hit me hard because he is right but I don't know why and I don't know what to do about it. I don't seem to find enjoyment in anything! I don't want them to see me as miserable.

Yes I do have to sort everything out and never seem to get any appreciation for it, but its only lately that I have felt like that and I have never really felt appreciated. Christmas was just an example as it is something coming up soon. We went on holiday a few months ago and it was just not a good time. Everyone had a good time except for me, I couldn't wait to come home.

@Mumofboys456

Yes I do have to sort everything out and never seem to get any appreciation for it, but its only lately that I have felt like that and I have never really felt appreciated. Christmas was just an example as it is something coming up soon. We went on holiday a few months ago and it was just not a good time. Everyone had a good time except for me, I couldn't wait to come home.

Did you not have a good time because you were doing all the usual daily drudge? If so, you need to speak out. Tell whoever your partner and DC that you want some down time too. I remember having to very forcibly spell this out and them looking so surprised that my idea of fun wasn;t to fold and unfold heavy caravan beds and cook on a shitty two ring stove.

At Christmas and on holiday you are allowed to factor in time for yourself. (It took me years to realise this. I did it way too late.) Tell everyone you are going to have a bath/read a book/watch a film in peace. Or make sure DC are having fun with someone and go off and do something relaxing - haircut or coastal hike or whatever you might find restorative. You don;t have to feel happy doing it but keep doing things that refuel you. You sound very worn down.

I’m sorry OP I have felt this way in parts. All I can suggest is that I looked at my life and figured out what wasn’t making me happy. Both my husband and I have / are in the process of changing our jobs for instance. That was a big source of it

How old are you?

It's not a holiday if you have to cook!

I didn't have to really do anything on the holiday except for sort the clothes out. We ate out every day. I'm 32

I think contentment exists and it is a long-term thing.

I think joy also exists and it is an intense but temporary feeling.

So I would characterise real happiness as contentment which is frequently punctuated by joy.

Why couldn’t you wait to come home from holiday?

When you think about what you’d actually like to do right now, if you could do anything - what would that be?

For myself, I enjoy the small things first like;

The first hot drink in the morning on my days off work
A sunny day
Currently, the yellows & orange colours of the Autumnal trees
Enjoy a meal
A good night's sleep
Good health
Winter eves next to the log burner

Bigger things
Days out with friends & family
Holidays
Getting paid
Starting a project & finishing it
Visiting somewhere new
Doing things together with partner/spouse
Starting a new hobby

All things to be thankful for

I'm going to add that I am generally a positive person

I plan things to do & do things on the spur of the moment

I don't like routine, I mix it up !

Am I happy - yes

What do you do when the kids are asleep? For your own leisure time?