So I might be flamed for this but I really need advice. I will start by saying I have complex mental health issues. Current diagnosis swings between bipolar and borderline personality disorder.
When I first started working (aged 19) I loved working. I was passionate and got continual praise about my work. I felt proud and like I had a purpose.
Then in 2016 I moved into a new role. Quite senior, well paid etc but absolutely hated it. I worked there for two and a half years and was miserable for the whole time. In the end I went off sick and then quit.
Since then I have had five other jobs and it’s always the same pattern. I start off excited about the job, thinking this is the perfect job for me. Then after about a month I start to feel overwhelmed, I panic and then walk out.
I am on universal credit but it’s not enough to live on so I am dipping into my savings every month. These will run out very soon so I need to find a job and stick at it.
I just don’t know how to get out of this pattern. I feel that if I could get through that panic that sets in after the first month then maybe things will get better but I just don’t know how to do that.
I miss feeling passionate and fulfilled about my work. I used to have such purpose with my work and it was a big part of my identity. I want that back.
Can anyone give me any advice? How do I break this pattern?