I have terrible friendship boundaries please help me...

[ijustwannabepartofyoursymphony]

When it comes to close friends.....everybody tells me their problems, all the time. Including the most sensitive of things.

And...nobody listens to my problems.

I'm tired of being dumped on and frankly hurt by the distinct lack of empathy I receive in turn.

I've been to therapy and identified where this all comes from (terrible family). BUT I'm not sure how to reset the boundaries in these friendships. Can it be done or do I just walk away?

I have no advice but just wanted to sympathise. I find it very difficult to make friends. I have A LOT of acquaintances, and everyone seems to offload to me 🤷🏻‍♀️ I find I come away from most social gatherings thinking nobody has actually asked me about me at all - I've just sat and listened to everyone else's issues/problems/lives 🙄

I have similar but different. I seem to attract people who think im stupid.

Thank you vilamoura for replying and I'm really sorry to hear that. I don't know about you but I also have a terrible and unconscious 'fawn' response so I come across as very friendly and fun when I first meet people, because that's how I deal with strangers - get them to like me to stop them from hurting me.

Then I ended up looking like an AMAZING friendship deal: fun, friendly and always ready to listen to other people's problems! Except, I have feelings too .And the people who are attracted to the nonsense I can't help aren't interested in my feelings.

@coodawoodashooda

I have similar but different. I seem to attract people who think im stupid.

Oh cooda, I'm sorry. I think I can relate as I get treated like the fun 'court jester' type and then people are enraged when I'm serious or putting in boundaries.

How does you see it all manifesting with you?

I have an incredible tolerance for crap and then people seem to think im stupid so take advantage.

Oh I'm sorry to hear that. I also have an incredible tolerance for crap and then the straw breaks the camel's back, I explain how I feel about being taken advantage of and get dumped and/or labelled mental.

Because they can't understand the 'personality change' i.e. me finally implementing a boundary.