Is it safe to have a child every year?

[faithfulbird20]

I know sue Radford has and she looks healthy. But is it safe? Just working it out sometimes she's been 2 months post Partum, sometimes 6...but shes just about had one every year. I was always told to wait 18 months before trying again but I waited till my daughter was nearly 3...

@fallfallfall

okay 3 under 3 and a maternity nurse. define "fine" many who have multiple births in rapid succession loose bladder control and occasionally bowel. many loose their teeth due to the body needing calcium and go onto having problems with osteoporosis. flooding periods and requiring hysterectomies by 50 as the uterus is floppy and doesn't contract well anymore. it doesn't contract well after delivery either and each delivery has a higher risk of hemorrhage. varicose veins from the weight of the babies on the legs venous return system. floppy pendulous breasts that cause neck and shoulder problems as well as sleep issues as you need to scoop them out of your armpits when you roll over. this is just the tip of the iceberg i've not even googled and come up with this list off the top of my head.

You're a maternity nurse?!

Many women won't experience any of this eg the 'floppy pendulous breasts' - I've small breasts, they stayed small after pregnancies.

All the issues you describe could happen of course (and solutions are available for those unfortunate enough to experience them). But there's no rule to say they are more likely to affect women with smaller age gaps.

Did they happen to you, with 3 under 3?

Long retired, but the more children a woman has the more problems in later years.
1890 grandmothers with 12+ kids often suffered in silence.

@Heruka

When I worked with young mums it was a research programme and one of the aims was to try to avoid subsequent babies being born within 2 years of the first. I forget what the evidence is but this was suggested as optimum for both mums and babies. Obviously people can choose to do what they like and shorter gaps work out, but it’s not a surprise if sooner than this is harder on womens bodies and impacts parent’s availability to their babies.

I read something similar I believe in the actual NHS guidance. At the time it said 3 years between children (so 2+ 9 months roughly?) It was to do with depletion of minerals in the body or something like that. Without modern influences women breast feed for about 2/3 years too, I think ends up being the space between children where there is no access to contraception.

Genuinely! She said that’s the term used between midwives when there’s another pregnancy so soon 😳**

You do know neglect comes under the category of abuse? There is not a chance that's the term used professionally.

I've read that some midwifes find it hilarious when women say they've been told to wait 18 months.

@Cocovivid did you breastfeed?

I had 5 pregnancies between 2015 and 2020 resulting in 2 children and I'm completely exhausted now.
Admittedly my pregnancies are rough with hg, pgp, severe anaemia and severe pre eclampsia. I've also never carried a baby to term with my sons being born at 33 and 36 weeks, and also losing babies at 4,7 and 10 weeks but I carried the last till 15 weeks.
My last 4 pregnancies were all conceived within 1 year.
During my last c section I was advised not to have anymore babies as my health is terrible, I've had pph during one of my miscarriages and during the section I had uterine atony.
I was only 26 at the time.
I am not built for pregnancy, however my dm had 4 babies without a single issue. That said every woman I know who has had multiple pregnancies in quick succession has at least one health problem.

Pendulous books they have to wake up in the night to remove from their armpits? As a result of having kids close together?

Neglected children?

Some comments on this thread are ludicrous

Boobs

The issues I had with mine close together weren't floppy uteruses or pendulous breasts (mine are still pretty perky by boob standards) - but I do have problems with residual SPD pain from the mishandled delivery of DD1. That's why I wouldn't have a third - wouldn't be fair on the current pair to make my mobility worse - was easier to do that when number 1 was still at the age where she stayed roughly where you put her!

@CoffeeWithCheese what was the gap between your pregnancies?

[quote faithfulbird20]@CoffeeWithCheese what was the gap between your pregnancies?[/quote]
There's 10 1/2 months between the kids' birthdays but DD2 was premature (both mine were) - was due about a week after DD1's first birthday.

Well my lovely, 6 foot tall, graduated with a first, DS has turned out well for a ‘neglected child’

@IcedCoffeeAlways she probably added her own opinion in there. That's a strong term to use. Would she say the same for twins, triplets etc?

@StillMedusa brave you! Do u have a 9 month age gap between your 2nd and third?

@Deadringer

My mum had 14 babies (and two losses) and is still going at 95, but i am sure she had some very difficult times, mentally and physically, as well as financially. She didn't have the choices that people have now, i cannot understand why someone would willingly do that to their body.

Dont know if we are related but my nan had 14 and I know shes 95 at least

My husband worked with a guy in his early thirties who had 7 children. His wife had been pregnant almost continually since they met. She was just desperate for a huge family and loved being pregnant. When the youngest was a few months old she died suddenly of heart failure. It was devastating.

[quote faithfulbird20]@IcedCoffeeAlways she probably added her own opinion in there. That's a strong term to use. Would she say the same for twins, triplets etc?[/quote]
@faithfulbird20 Yeah I’m sure it must have been a lot of her own opinion! I did tell her that I thought it was a horrendous term to use - there are genuine neglected children in the world!!
This was told to me when I was about 1 week PP when she was giving me a huge lecture on contraception

There’s just under a year between my 2. Contemplated a third fairly soon after but it was dependent on a house move and that fell through. I think I would have stopped at 3 though, I was knackered with 2

Common sense - no it can't be good for your body to keep getting pregnant and giving birth over and over so close together. Any pregnancy and delivery will bring health risks.

I remember watching a documentary years ago about the largest families in England. I can't remember specifics but it has stuck with me as I found it so crazy. A woman was giving birth to her latest child (must have been around her 15th child). The midwives were listing all the health risks this mother was facing, and almost begging her not to have another as they were so concerned for her health. I remember them saying 'I've noticed a big difference this time, haven't you?'. I remember the father telling the cameras that he wouldn't use contraception and he was grateful to god for all the children he was being blessed with.

I now wonder what happened to that family, and if the mother is still alive. Both mother and father didn't work, and the father didn't seem to have any involvement at all in helping to raise his many children. I remember one of the older sons closing the door on the cameras because he was so embarrassed and sick of the attention that came with being in such a huge family. I wonder what would've happened if the mother had passed away...

I don't have such a small age gap (almost exactly 2 years between mine) but physically it took a real toll on me, lost a lot of bladder control and have a prolapse. It is the reason we won't try for another despite always wanting 3 children.

A consultant relative who is known for being blunt told me the trauma of a straightforward pregnancy & birth was akin to being in a severe car accident.

The stafford women must be super human

Radford!

@breadrollz

The stafford women must be super human

In my opinion it is massively damaging to have a baby as a teen, more than people can imagine or know. There isn’t enough support and understanding and I can see how it could damage you slightly.

I say that as someone who had my oldest as a young teen by the way - I noticed with my younger two children it had definitely affected me having my first two so young. Silly things such as spending months getting the perfect pram and constant anxiety about choosing the right one because when I had my first I didn’t have that option.

I can imagine there’s a possibility that Sue Radford is doing something like that. Trying to get it ‘right’ or fix the difficulties of the past by having a do-over. I don’t mean that offensively, it’s just a hard thing to explain.

I am going to say that i am NOT a medical professional of any sort (just a bureaucrat). But about 15 years ago i worked extensively for a Women's health NGO in developing countries and our recommendation was 3 years between births. That may be due to general health care availability though, I do not know.

(Equally, I have a 12 year old and a 10 year odl so hardly the poster girl for that advice).