Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

'Naughty' 3 Year Old

3 replies

Wellarentyouacleverdick · 14/11/2021 17:43

Hello,

I am having a rather challenging time with my three year old BUT what I'm getting annoyed about is close family members always laughing and joking or commenting about how naughty she is.

I actually think she behaves like a normal 3 year old. I have an older child who is 5, she was not like this but they are completely different personalities and eldest had only just learned to talk at 3 (diagnosed SEN) so they were/are very different.

DD has been talking since she was 1, very early compared to our eldest and her speech is like that of an older child she's been having full on conversations since she was small. She js bright, I think. She's just 3, she joined in the Reception age homeschooling at the beginning of the year for her sister (it was that or try to distract her into something else, nope) so she knows her letters and phonics sounds, and can start to decode some simple 3 letter words. She colours quite intricately, in the lines, holding a pen correctly. Counts well, loves books and generally plays normally.

But wow she has a stroppy temper and smart mouth for such a young child. The backchat I get from her is unreal. She is bolshy, tantrummy, and at times, rude, if she doesn't get her way. "Go away Mummy; I don't like you!" Massively independent- "I do it MYSELF, get off Mummy, go away!". Refuses to do as I ask or just completely ignores me and carries on. She occasionally hits, not often.

I deal with this by telling her off, obviously. Stern low voice, "no, that js not allowed" , "DD Mummy has asked you to stop that, stop it NOW" etc, removing her from whatever she's doing if she refuses to stop, sitting her on the stairs if she ever hits (rare). Following through on threats to go home from the park if she runs off etc. Full on tantrums I just ride out calmly, I'm used to meltdowns with my eldest.

Anyway, I really consider this to be pretty typical for a 3 year old. Not nice, but a stage that will pass as long as I consistently correct her and teach her to correct way to behave?She can behave beautifully, preschool say she is well mannered, polite, shares and plays nicely and does exactly as she's asked there!

My family have a running joke about how naughty she is, and how stroppy. But I think their expectations of her are so off. Like the other day my mum came round with a film for the children to watch. It's aimed at probably 6/7 year olds, not a cartoon. My eldest sat happily with her and watched it but the younger one after about 20 minutes was wandering around bored so I set her up with some colouring to do. She was then, predictably done with that after another 20 minutes and was annoying her sister to play with her who was still watching the film.

I stepped in, stopped her and went to play with her myself but she threw a massive strop because she wanted to play with her sister. I dealt with that but after my mother was commenting about how naughty it was! I mean that's not naughty, is it? That's just a very young child, bored and annoyed because their sister doesn't want to play right now.

I dunno, it just grates a bit. But I also don't want to be that mum who has a horror of a child and can't see it!

She's also very tall, and combined with her speech and general demeanour I sometimes think people forget that she's only just three and judge her a bit harshly.

Does she sound typical?

OP posts:
Pythonesque · 14/11/2021 17:49

Yes I think you're right, people are forgetting how young she is because she presents as older - except when she's getting stroppy. I think you just have to ride some of it out to be honest.

My younger sister talked before I did, similarly to what you describe (I had severe glue ear), and there are some funny family stories as a result.

My mother also recalls being expected to keep up with her older brother (3.5 years older!) through much of her childhood. Except when it suited people to treat her the same as her younger brother - 8 years younger!

Good luck, sounds like you have a lovely pair of daughters in reality, and more people will see more and more of that reality as they grow up.

Wellarentyouacleverdick · 14/11/2021 20:03

Yes that's kind of it, she seems like this much bigger, older kid but when she's having a strop it's like the lack of any sort of self regulation or emotional control (as is normal!) comes out to play and then people are like 'huh, look at the way she's behaving again, that's totally unacceptable!'.

It is unacceptable behaviour of course but she's just learning and I do deal with it. I don't just let her rampage around misbehaving.

OP posts:
ImFree2doasiwant · 14/11/2021 20:08

You've just described ds2. He's exactly the same. Ds1 didn't speak til 2.5, abd us VERY rule focused. Didn't have terrible twos. Ds2 started talking very early, and same as your DD, by 2 was holding conversations, making jokes etc. Is also tall for his age so expectations are high.hes almost 5 now and still quite challenging. He's a very different child to his brother

New posts on this thread. Refresh page