Only just realising my white privilege

[Madein1995]

Hi,

Apologies for posting and I really don't want to come across as offensive or naive or anything like that. I've known I've had white privilege, but it hasn't really 'hit home' until the last few days.

I watched the film Harriet, and while I've heard about the despicable and tragic history ,it was my first time seeing it as an adult, and I did some research. I was sickened by what I read - not just in the past, but what's happening today as well.
I appreciate that I sound (very) naive. I'm from a Welsh village and never thought too much about it previously, I've been ignorant. I thought because I don't post racist slogans etc I'm OK- not stopping to actually consider how privileged I am and how there's still a massive part of the population who are still being treated awfully.
The news about Ahmaud Arbery, for example, has sickened me. Have we learnt nothing?

And then I got to thinking on a personal level. How service users in work refer to one of my colleagues as the 'coloured one' despite being asked not to. How I've attended 3 NA meetings in the past week, all in a relatively multi cultural area - of those, there was only 1 non white person present.
I don't know what the point of this thread really. It doesn't feel nice, I know that, and it'd be much easier to push these feelings aside and ignore them, but I can't. Is there anything I can do?

I don't know what the point of this thread really.

As someone who is mixed race, I don’t either.

If I was your work colleague I’d put in a grievance against someone that referred to me as “that coloured one”.

'Critical race theory' is exactly that just a theory. You are not obliged to take it onboard to feel bad about yourself any more than you suddenly have to believe in over 100 different 'gender identities' (gender identity ideology).
It sounds like you treat people kindly, as I expect do most of us. that's what really matters.

It sounds like you treat people kindly, as I expect do most of us. that's what really matters.

No. Treating people kindly really isn’t enough.

And to compare critical race theory to ‘100 genders’ is to be actively hostile to the former.

Being white is not a bad thing, you shouldn't feel apologetic for it. The colour of your skin does not define you.

It would be really nice however if people would call out racism and inequality when they see it and ensure their actions don't contribute to that and that goes for everyone, regardless of their colour.

I'm not white btw (if that makes a difference).

No need to feel bad for being white. That’s not the point of being aware of racism.

Call out racism and hold those people accountable.

Also does your colleague that is a person of colour not have a name? This I would raise to HR as this is obvious racism and the offending person needs to be called out in this.

Yes, realising our privilege is not about feeling bad, it's not, contrary to some beliefs, an expectation to self-flaggelate or feel guilty for something we can't help, it's about recognising and thinking about how we can leverage that privilege to help others. And I appreciate that in a work setting, that can feel difficult, but it's worth having a think about how to act on it.

I don't think you should feel guilty, and tbh white people expecting people to feel sorry for them finally 'seeing the light' is a bit tedious. At least you acknowledge it. What's an NA meeting?

Having said all that treating people kindly is obviously key but understanding racial dynamics is also important. I've given up on talking about white privilege to white people because you'll inevitably be met by "Well growing up we only had 4 baked beans and a slice of bread between the 8 of us, how is that privilege" etc etc Reni Eddo-Lodge has written a fantastic book on this and that's what I recommend people to read.

What's an NA meeting?

@VladmirsPoutine narcotics anonymous, like alcoholics anonymous for narcotics.

Thanks Sick

"it doesn't feel nice"

But this isn't about YOU is it ? It's not how YOU feel. And that's part of the problem; your post about you having just realised your white privilege, by the end turned into how badly you felt. It isn't about you.

No. Treating people kindly really isn’t enough.

But probably a good starting place ?

I think the fact that it is easier to push the feelings aside is the point of the thread. You're asking what you can do. And since you're asking in chat rather than in the Black Mumsnetters section I presume you're not asking black people to do the work for you.

I'd certainly be up for conversations about white privilege with other white people like me who want to be anti racist. It's not about useless guilt. I don't want to do it here in chat because the population of Mumsnet is honestly quite racist and I don't want to debate the existence of white supremacy - I know it is the status quo. But I'd be up for joining in with someone to ask Mumsnet for a very carefully named section.

But I'd be up for joining in with someone to ask Mumsnet for a very carefully named section.

Hmm …

Have you considered what a magnet that would be for the sort of people one wouldn’t want to be friends with?

And even if they were chased away, wouldn’t it just be rather solipsistic navel-gazing?

It sounds like you’ve identified a couple of places you can try to help. Mention to those service users that your colleague has a name and should not be referred to by her race. Maybe check if your work has an anti-racism policy.
If you’re involved in the organising side of the NA meetings or know the organisers maybe ask what their policies are around ensuring equal access to all.
Sadly sometimes these questions are better raised by those with white privilege as it’s clear it’s not a personal “chip”.

a personal “chip”

Wow …

@EdmontinaDancesWithOphelia

But I'd be up for joining in with someone to ask Mumsnet for a very carefully named section.

Hmm …

Have you considered what a magnet that would be for the sort of people one wouldn’t want to be friends with?

And even if they were chased away, wouldn’t it just be rather solipsistic navel-gazing?

I see what you mean but if white people want to be anti racist and don't want to ask black people how to do it, there has to be some forum to talk to each other about how to do it. You kind of have to know your own navel before you can change what you do with it don't you?! I don't necessarily mean an internet forum -- and you may be right that Mumsnet isn't the place for it.

Mumsnet isn't the forum for this type of thing in my opinion. Whenever threads like this pop up I always say talking about racism/anti racism on MN is akin to joining a vegan forum to extol the virtues of a bacon sandwich.

@the

I moved to Somerset from the south east recently and I have a black university student to train on the wards.
Its not exactly a multicultural area and I've been absolutely shocked at the awful unashamed and blatant rascism I've witnessed towards him since we've been working together, not just patients but staff.
I've taken to reporting each and every incident officially now because nobody should be subject to that kind of abuse just for turning up to work.

Op,it’s great that the penny has dropped , I think a lot of people are feeling just like you and it helps to share.
It’s really that we want to jump to a conscious place of”I’m ok, you’re ok”, that’s the goal!

@ThePlantsitter who made black people the authority on racism?
OP calling out racism, reporting it etc is a good first step. Making sure it’s unacceptable to do that.

Also to add I’m of various mixed non-white backgrounds plenty of racism here not just against black people

Fair enough @TractorAndHeadphones. Maybe I should've said non white people.

(or people of colour but that goes down badly on here)

@ThePlantsitter But why shouldn't you have said Black people, the OP references the film Harriet (film about a Black African American civil rights activist) and later in the post the OP mentions Ahmaud Arbery (an unarmed Black man who was shot). It doesn't seem to me that you claimed Black people are the authority on racism - the thread literally references Black people.