Help me with this work related issue!

[Letsallscreamatthesistene]

Im a Nurse Practitioner/Practice Nurse. Its supposed to be a 50/50 split role, but with winter/COVID pressures im doing a lot more NP work. Im relitively new to the NP side of things, but very comfortable as a practice nurse. Earlier this week one of the partners shouted at me. He asked if I was free, then invited my clinical line manager into my clinical room along with himself and started telling me how he wasnt lazy, hes close to burn out, how I was incompetent and a lot of other unrelated things. It was full on shouting. My line manager was shocked and said she thought it was all very unprofessional. I think its stemmed from a comment I made, in jest, about how his clinical list is always empty or fills up last (this is true). That person has relayed it back to him and the shouting was the result.

After things had calmed down I sent him a letter saying how I thought wires had become crossed and things had been blown out of proportion, how I was sorry he felt hurt etc etc. He hasnt spoken to me since. Hes actively avoided me. My line manager has said that shes glad im here, how she thinks ive fitted in very well and shes pleased with my work.

I dont know where to go with this. How do I handle it? Any advice is welcome.

I sympathise with you @Letsallscreamatthesistene. I was never shouted at but I have been i a situation where a (senior) colleague misunderstood something that I said and was angry with me. I tried to explain but he wouldn't listen. It's really rubbish and the sense of injustice is horrible.
If the partner continues to ignore you, I'd ask for your manager to intervene, as that's just childish and unprofessional.

He's probably being childish because he's embarrassed.

Could you try and talk to him rather than sending a letter and just try and put it behind you?

Although its hard I agree with trying to talk to him rather than sending a letter. It might be worth speaking to someone you trust in the team though as they might have advice on how best to handle it. Similar happened at my work, our immediate team were all fairly laid back and happy to joke around with eachother a bit. In a monthly meeting with the wider team someone fairly new said something to the manager which didn't go down well. They asked me what I'd recommend doing, but I guess it depends on the culture a bit.

It does feel very unfair. The reason why I wrote a letter rather than going to talk to him was because I thought id give a better account of myself that way, I tend to get quite flustered during confrontation. He hasnt replied to the letter. Im on leave for a week now which was planned long before this, so maybe ill have a reply when I get back but I doubt it.

The practice is down one full time practice nurse and the whole situation has made me want to drop the NP side of things and make my hours up with practice nursing.

Well ive definitely learnt my lesson, no more joking.

@ricetwisty what happened?

[quote Letsallscreamatthesistene]@ricetwisty what happened?[/quote]
I essentially said that although we like a joke and a laugh in our smaller team, it's important to remember that this isn't the case for everyone. I said personally I'd speak to them and apologise, say although you didn't mean it you can see how it wasn't appropriate and that it's been an important lesson learnt. Things were fine after that, but it depends on the person.

OP I think there are two things to consider here. It sounds like he is under an inordinate amount of stress. That doesn't justify his behaviour at all but sometimes when people are really stressed they lose those mechanisms that would otherwise moderate their behaviour. So it's worth remembering that this wasn't caused by you. It was caused by the many other pressures in his life.

That said, I'd stop apologising and explaining now. Even if you said something stupid, he is not justified in shouting at you. Personally I'd get angry about that and make a complaint. It's not how people should treat each other at work and you deserve better

@user1477249785

OP I think there are two things to consider here. It sounds like he is under an inordinate amount of stress. That doesn't justify his behaviour at all but sometimes when people are really stressed they lose those mechanisms that would otherwise moderate their behaviour. So it's worth remembering that this wasn't caused by you. It was caused by the many other pressures in his life.

That said, I'd stop apologising and explaining now. Even if you said something stupid, he is not justified in shouting at you. Personally I'd get angry about that and make a complaint. It's not how people should treat each other at work and you deserve better

Absolutely this !

You all sound under pressure and stressed, he shouldnt have shouted and you shouldn't be joking about him to other staff, that's not very supportive or professional. Can you set up a meeting with him, the Practice Manager and yourself and say you are sorry, he is sorry, we need to move on from this and deal with personal issues in a more supportive way.

Tbh it was such an off hand, jokey comment im quite suprised what has come of it. You're right though, I shouldnt have said it at all.

I’d try to get back to normal but keep an eye on things. If in a few days this doctors is still behaving unprofessionally, you may need to ask your boss to raise it with the partner responsible for NPs. It may be that the partners need to address how this person deals with stress. Either way, I’d expect them to deal with any ongoing behaviour from them because, in the current climate, they’ll want to keep nursing and support staff happy.

He is the partner responsible for NPs....

Another thing he said during his shouting was that he wanted to give that part of his role up because of me. I know the practice is 2 GPs and 1 pratice nurse down, so theres a lot pressure everywhere.

If it doesnt pass over and get back to normal ill probably speak to my nursing line manager, as she was the one that was called in by him initially to 'witness' it. I think he thought bringing her in made it ok and more professional.

Can the senior nurse take on the role of supervising nurse practitioners instead. Does he understand the role, does he see you as a another g.p really, do you have the NP and nurse prescribing training and certificates.

Yes im a qualified NP

Is he the senior partner? I’m just thinking that if you’re getting it in the neck the chances are he’s behaving badly elsewhere and so it may be worth speaking to someone higher up (again, only if this doesn’t calm down next week). Otherwise, perhaps speak to the practice manager.
My husband is a GP partner with a colleague who does this sort of thing every now and then. He’s the one that always has to smooth things over. I know that general practice is haemorrhaging staff at the moment (albeit locally due to abuse from patients) and so they should want this resolved.

I would be making a formal complaint to the other partners..its abusive behaviour, bullying pure and simple. To be fair it would have lasted about 10 seconds before I would have walked on the room. This is not acceptable irrespective how much hes stressed.

He is the senior partner, which makes it all the more difficult I think. Ill see if it carries on after ive got back from leave.