My friend is 40 next week. She has had lots of birthday celebrations for the last month (I have seen on SM) and obviously I haven't attended or been invited to any. I am 100% fine with this, understand numbers, covid etc and I have been dealing with a police issue recently, working FT, 3DC etc. so haven't been able to socialise much. My friend knows nothing about this issue. She attended a big party I had for my 40th, pre pandemic and she also really generously (and as a complete surprise) brought a really thoughful, personal to me cake. Her expectations of her friends are high, she gives and expects decent gifts and posts them on SM, expects nights out/weekends away she organises to be attended, she thinks it is important to see friends frequently and be in contact with them a lot, it is important to her that people know she cares and feels cared for. Which is fair enough, I understand that need. She has her way of doing things and I respect that. Different strokes etc.
I am a bit different in that I am, by my own admission, pretty crap at keeping in touch and I don't necessarily feel gifts and people's time shows someone you care and don't need to receive/give them or organise get togethers frequently if it doesn't suit. A 'Happy Birthday' on FB means the same as receiving a card and present to me. It is nice for someone just to think/acknowledge big events. I have a friend who I have had for 39 years and she is the only friend who I fully trust and I consistently spend time with, the rest of my friends I care for them but I can go weeks/months/years without seeing them if lives get busy, I wouldn't hold that against them IYSWIM. Given that we are very different, don't see each other that much post pandemic and I haven't been asked to celebrate with her I think I am going to just send her my best wishes and some letterbox flowers or do you think given that she really made an effort with my cake, she will be offended by the flowers I should choose a more thoughtful, personal, expensive gift? I am skint so that is also clouding my judgement. I don't want to kill the friendship off but I also want to be proportionate. WWYD?