Toddler hates EVERYONE HELP

[namechanged31]

My little girls 18 month from around 6 month of age she began hysterically screaming if ANYONE spoke to her looked at her apart from me and her dad
A year later we now can't go to supermarket without a breakdown if someone talks to her like to the point she's sick she gets that worked up
No one can talk to her in buggy as she screams
No one can talk to me she screams
If we go to the park and a child comes over to play she screams until we leave
She's petrified of everyone
She's fine in park on her own it's as soon as someone else is near her
If she's walking and someone's coming up to her walking past she'll stare at the floor patting herself - she does this to tell herself she's okay and then she's back to normal
I can't see friends as she'll scream until we leave
We can't see grandparents as she screams - we see them once a week
I'm feeling so alone and don't know what to do
Baby classes she hates and goes hysterical and won't stop till we leave
Any ideas anyone please

How does she behave if you’re not there?

Have people come and visit you for a week or so at a time. She might hate it for a while but she’ll have to get used to it after a while.
All these lockdowns and social isolation won’t have helped.

@LapinR0se

How does she behave if you’re not there?

I've tried leaving her with my mam a couple of times and she'll just cry the full time until she rings saying to come back

It's honestly traumatising for everyone involved I had friends round last week thought I'd give it a go and they left after 10 minutes as she started being sick she got that upset I just don't know what to do

Even for a child in covid times that’s quite extreme - she screams even if someone just walks past without trying to interact with her? How’s she doing developmentally otherwise?

Watching with interest as very close relatives have a child like this. He's terrified of strange people AND strange places so they have a hard time.

I don't have any solutions for you, but he has improved with age.

Have you spoken to your health visitor or taken her to see a GP. This all sounds incredibly extreme and I'd be pushing to work with professionals and make a plan to proceed because I really don't think this situation is going to resolve itself.

You are describing my niece - she used to cover her eyes too to block us and everyone else out. She'd go beserk in a bus with strangers aboard, she once tolerated me taking her out in the car but we had to stop at a traffic light and someone used the crossing. Well she freaked as they passed and screeched 'stuck in the car' on repeat between wails for the entirety of the rest of the 40 journey. I remind her of this often as the most chilled 15 year old I've ever met that she now is. It was a gradual improvement over the years. Meanwhile she was super high achieving and years ahead of her peers in attainment.

Right, this might sound stupid but do you talk to her about what’s happening and explain to her that ‘we’re now going to the shops, there will be other people there, mummy and daddy aren’t going anywhere’, etc…

Regularly? Have you tried constantly reassuring her and speaking to her seriously - she won’t be able to reply but at this age she understands you (unless there are additional needs) so you need to explain to her like you spoke to an adult, what is going on.

Children can be talked to like grown-ups in some situations and need preparing before going into situations that distresses them. Apologies if this is something you’ve already tried with no positive result!

My 20-month old is very shy, and lockdown hasn't helped.
When there is someone new in the room, she just stares intently at the floor, as if saying "if I don't look at them, they'll just go away".
She'll walk the long way around a coffee table to get to me, rather than pass by a stranger (Eg her uncle).
So I recognize some elements you mention, but your poor daughter's reaction is very extreme. I agree with PPs that you could discuss with your doctor.

Hello
hows your little girl now?
i am in a similar situation as you , my little girl is nearly 2 and i think the older she gets the more upset she gets interacting with anyone.
i can’t take her to any baby groups or anywhere with other people and everyone keeps telling me it’s a faze also