Am I being selfish?

[Freebird61]

I am 63, married for 34 years, 2 adult Ds.. I have worked since I was 16, all through my marriage and due to Dh working away when the children were young had jobs that fitted around our family requirements. We had no family living nearby to help out so it wasn't always easy.
For the last 20 years I have worked as a manager in social care, it's been pretty stressful but I stayed due to its location, flexibility etc. Last year I was treated for breast cancer and following 9 months off sick I returned to work reducing both my hours and responsibilities.I'm finding it hard going both due to the nature of the environment and the fact I'm taking hormone blocking therapy which makes me feel achy and tired.
When I returned Dh said to see how it went and if it became too much I could leave.I was talking to one of my sons yesterday evening about work, it's been a terrible week and I was off loading and said I felt like I was coming to the end of the road with it and maybe I could consider leaving end of March having been back a year after my treatment. Dh came into the room and heard the very last part of the conversation and is furious saying I'm selfish and why should he have all the financial burden.
With regards to the finances, we've always had joint bank account and shared everything, we are financially secure, no debts , shares and substantial savings with mortgage due to finish next August.Over the last 7 years I have saved my wages with his knowledge because I don't get my pension until I'm 66 and have no private pension which obviously in retrospect was not wise. This money was saved for the purpose of having a buffer so as not to have to work until I'm 66.Dh will get final salary pension and is 3 years younger than me. I am also an only child and my Dm will leave her property to me.
I feel upset because I feel dh has changed the goalposts and made me feel like a freeloader, I've worked hard all my life and I'm worn out, getting cancer was a huge reality check and has made me view things differently. With only a few years left to retirement am I so wrong to want to potter around at home when we're financially secure and can live comfortably without my wage and not even have to use our savings. In the future I would always view my Dm inheritance as family money for the benefit of us all.

Your husband is horrible. I'm sorry. If you need to stop working, do so.

Not selfish at all! You have done your bit and more both for your family and professionally. You need to think of yourself and your health now.

Firstly and congrsts on recovery.

You know your DH and whether he is a dear husband or a dickhead husband.

If my dear husband did this i'd be wanting a proper conversation to understand whats going on because i would know it was coming from some stress or anxiety about the future/ his own health and ability to work etc. So we'd need a proper convo to flush it out
But if my best friends Dickhead husband did this it would be for a more selfish/self serving reason and conversation wpuld be fairly futile.

Personally I would take my savings and buggar off and leave him to his miserly ways.

Ask your husband would did the overwhelming lion's share of the childrearing when your kids were little. That would be you. You've done far more than your fair share. I'd be telling him to get his head out.

God Almighty no, you poor thing. I agree with Pumpkin above, I would take my savings and scarper and leave Scrooge on his own.

@LivingLaVidaBabyShower

Firstly and congrsts on recovery.

You know your DH and whether he is a dear husband or a dickhead husband.

If my dear husband did this i'd be wanting a proper conversation to understand whats going on because i would know it was coming from some stress or anxiety about the future/ his own health and ability to work etc. So we'd need a proper convo to flush it out
But if my best friends Dickhead husband did this it would be for a more selfish/self serving reason and conversation wpuld be fairly futile.

This. But no, you’re not being selfish. Sorry you’ve had such a tough couple of years

I'm sorry to hear your husband is not being supportive. To beat cancer is a massive achievement (congratulations) but you need to continue to look after yourself, being run down and stressed is not healthy for you and I think you should explain that to your husband. Tell him you are disappointed that after everything you have been through you don't have his support (particularly after saying you could leave) but that you need to put your health first and you would have expected him to want the same. I think you then need to fo what's right for you. The situation would be more difficult if you weren't financially secure.

We've just had a chat about it now that things have calmed down. He doesn't want us to break into the savings as we may need them at a later date which I understand . I explained we wouldn't need to but obviously wouldn't be building any more up until the mortgage was paid off next year.
I don't earn that much now but of course it makes a difference so I've said I'll see how I feel in the new year and review the situation. Tbh his reaction was very out of character which is why it upset me so much. He said he felt I had already made a decision and discussed with Ds and not him which made him annoyed.
It really wasn't like that at all but after offloading this week's events I was quite emotional and at the end of my tether.

Thank you for all your replies, I'm recovering well but I just don't have the energy I used to have and it's very frustrating.

Leave him. Sell the house take your share, keep your inheritance and enjoy your life

Wow MN is crazy sometimes, I don’t think you need to be packing your bags just yet

He’s obviously just worried about finances and whether you retiring will be putting more pressure on him, which is a valid concern.
Plus, as he said, it sounded like you sprung it out of the blue by saying it to your son and him overheating.

I reckon a marriage of 34years probably deserves a conversation before divorce.