Are some people just always lucky?

[maybeonedaywhentherainstops]

A silly post but yet something I'm getting a little weary of 😢 My husband has had the most horrible time this past few years with high stress in work, lots of personal issues and never ending bad luck (lots of extremely personal stuff too which I won't discuss) His twin brother on the other hand absolutely sails through life without a scratch I really mean it when i say that- he literally always lands of his feet or better off which we are genuinely happy for but it just seems to highlight our bad luck . We are currently stressing about so much stuff that seems relentless and feels that we won't ever get over this very unhappy period.

Are some people just luck/unlucky ?

You’re going through a bad patch right now but it won’t last and one day you’ll be in a much happier place. Maybe your BIL will always catch a break or maybe he’ll stumble at some point too - we all tend to have ups and downs.

I heard a brilliant radio programme where an academic said luck or lack of it never exists in a vacuum, it's usually connected issues combining to create new misfortune, and often to do with attitude and/or poor choices possibly linked to lack of information or knowledge. That's probably not very comforting to you. I think you can definitely see how one misfortune leads easily to another and so on, even if you disagree with the rest of it.

@33goingon64 absolutely, I agree wholeheartedly that attitude plays such a big part and eventually storms pass but by goodness we've had to use industrial strength umbrellas. Thanks for replying to my post xx

@StarShapedWindow yes, I know I'm being negative and I hate that as I'm usually so upbeat and positive. I guess some days are just harder than others. Eventually this storm will pass and we will be in a happier place ❤️ thanks for replying x

Yes, some are but that makes sense if you think of a series of random events. Most people will get 50/50 results, but some outliers will get all in their favour or all not. A lucky outlier combined who also has a positive personality type will find life very easy!
DD2 is (so far! It's early days!) in this category. The negative stuff rolls off her due to her personality but she's also very lucky eg 2 chocolate bars rather than 1 fall out of the vending machine when she uses it, or not only does she 'win' a toy from those arcade grab machines but 2 get hooked etc (DD1 meanwhile won't manage to get even 1...)

Everyone of the outside of my life would say I'm so so lucky and I am... I have amazing teenagers, a great business a house full of dogs lovely materialistic stuff a beautiful home, food and spare income for holidays and treats. But what they don't know is I have a chronic painful illness, my father is critically sick, my marriage isn't perfect, I'm suffering with anxiety and I have numerous doubts and issues.

So even from the outside of your BILs luck you just never know what is lying below the surfaces.

I'm so sorry your going through a rough time it will pass it will get better and you can learn to cope with the shit times and embrace any small good moments. Sending hugs

@bloodyhoodedeyes
Awww I'm
Sorry to hear all that you're going through and I hope you feel better soon too .

You're exactly right though and hit the nail on the head that nobody ever sees what goes on behind the scenes, and I'm sure other would say the same about us too. I guess hard times just last longer than the good and the uncertainty of what's to come makes seem worse. I guess if we new what the worse case scenario would be in each circumstance we could deal with it, not knowing plays with the anxiety within us.

My brother and I are a bit like this. For me personally my bad luck all stems from poor health. I was flying high until I became very ill at 18, struggled to complete my education, managed to get a decent paying job but could never manage to work full time hours. It's had a significant knock on effect on my quality of life and the ability to afford to manage problems well. My brother on the other had has always had excellent health, has been able to work full time in a good career, he's also 4 years older than me and was able to buy his first property before the house prices tripled. So he has a great quality of life and mines a real struggle. I do try to stay positive but its hard when life is tough and you know things won't ever improve.

I don't think that is is the case. People can have bad luck, people can have good luck. It can be related to underlying issues, but the comment from @33goingon64 that it "never exists in a vacuum" is just plain dumb.

Also, as another poster mentioned, you never know the full story of peoples lives. I was a victim of a random stranger rape, that has a huge impact on my life. Outside everything looks great with respect job, finance, house, health, kids, etc.

I hope things improve for your DH. I also hope things continue great for your BIL.

After 17 pregnancies to get three live D.C. my medical diagnosis was “unlucky”

@maybeonedaywhentherainstops that's the thing a chronic unless is chronic it won't get better, and I think that's why I actually feel lucky and positive as I understand and know what I have to face, every day.

It makes me positive it forces me to see the best in everything, it makes me strive and it forces me to enjoy the small stuff like a glass of wine by a fire down the pub, that's bliss.

So it's like you say the uncertainty of when will things will get better and the strength to believe they will improve. But for you they will improve they will get better and you can do this period of time, life is so so hard right now with covid etc it's knocked everything sideways, and we are all just picking up the pieces differently and at different rates.

Some of us do a massive big clear out and shake ourselves down and power through the shit, others pick up day by day hour by hour and take longer to get back to good.

It certainly feels like it. Yes, attitude can play a part to an extent, but the last few years has involved some awful family illness which has been sheer bad luck and it feels so unfair to see others who seem to sail through and always land on their feet. I try and tell myself that things aren’t always as they seem, and there may be a kid of bad stuff going on under the surface but it’s hard not to feel bitter, especially with a young relative who is seriously ill and has no quality of life compared to counterparts who are getting married, getting lovely jobs etc