Would you welcome an invite for a kids' party on the last day of term?

[MollyBloomYes]

DS2 has a shitty Christmas birthday. My stupid shitty Christmas birthday is a week later (and his original due date) so you'd think I would have planned better but well, first night away from DS1, couple of drinks and a subsequent laissez faire attitude to an irregular postnatal cycle makes fools of us all....

Anyway. There's no point in inviting his friends to a party on his actual birthday because I can guarantee there'll be low take up. But he's turning 6, it's his first 'proper' year of school without bubbles etc and he's desperate for a party having had his birthday trip cancelled at 24 hours notice last year and also having been invited to a couple this term.

He wants to go to a local trampoline park where it'll be a (literal) drop and go type thing although parents can stay and apparently free teas and coffees are provided as part of the party package. If I were to book it for the afternoon they break up from school (their school finishes at 1pm on the last day of term for Christmas) do you think people would be up for it? Surely nobody would be that keen to be getting Christmas underway that they need to be going straight into their plans the afternoon the schools break up?

Possibly the kids would be absolutely wired from probably parties at school and then a further party at the trampoline place but then they'd all sleep well I imagine? Just trying to canvas opinions, I don't really celebrate my birthday anymore because nobody ever bothered to turn up for it and I already feel a bit panicky and stressed at the thought of lovely little DS becoming as bitter as me at the tender age of 6! Or, worse, his sad little face at his friends not turning up as promised

So, thoughts? I've floated the idea of him having a 'bonus' birthday and doing it in January but he is a STICKLER for the rules and apparently this will not do. An earlier weekend is out too thanks to a couple of family events, a grandparent who works on Saturdays and EOW contact with their dad. So it needs to be an afternoon during the week annoyingly

Agree with the logistics being tricky if parents are working & have other childcare arrangements.

It's still 6 weeks?! Until Christmas so can you book it for mid December? Or alternatively mid jan to give the kids something to look forward (would be my preference actually as December weekends are already booked up as everything is being planned further ahead this year)

I would be reluctant for after school
because I know how tired my year 1 child will be by then. But my parents will be relaying on favours, childminder or grandparents to do this pick up so it may not be feasible for many.

The issue for us would be work. Finishing early on the last day of term is already stressful enough to find childcare and we wouldn't have time to drop and pick up from this. The weekend would be preferable to us and with enough notice we'd prioritise the party.

December birthday martyrs! Mine is just before Christmas and I enjoy it as everyone is in a party mood if I fancy organising something. Life is what you make it.

Re a party at the end of term, I would much prefer it on a run up weekend - and it is unusual for someone to say every single weekend is out. Does the grandparent really need to be at soft play - can't they come to the actual birthday do rather than the school friends party?

Xmas last week of school is frantic generally. If my kids school finished at lunchtime I would want to just get home. (Although I would actually be at work so stuck really) and I have other kids who would need attention too

I think it's a great idea. Really good way to celebrate end of term. Could you message the parents of the kids to check they're available before you book?

I have this, a party for my 3yr old who’s just started nursery, on the last day of term. It is a bit of a pain, I’ve decided I’ll need to take the day off work as I don’t want to send the childminder with her. But it’s very kind to invite her as she’s recently started, and the mums offered a drop off but I feel it’s a bit much since she’s so wee and doesn’t know anyone well yet. Is it possible to do it after school the day before they finish, or something like that?

I would struggle a bit with this as would need to take some annual leave but would definitely try. And would probably ask a grandparent to take him if I couldn't. No early finish here but as there is for you i would expect most parents have already had to take leave so might not be an issue.

Just sent DD into nursery with invitations for her 4th birthday party on the 18th. I'm thinking a few people might already have Christmas and but not most. It's still pretty far away from Christnas in my mind.

We'd have done it no problem if the school finished at lunchtime. When mine were primary age the last week was relatively quiet, all the hectic stuff (plays etc) was the week before.

Some years we collected DD on. the last day. of term. and run to the airport to visit parents so you could have children already starting a holiday.

Some parents are working but tbh it would be with any weekday, unless you are able to provide transport (clubbing together with other parents) you will loose some because of that.

Otherwise, it doesn't really bother me. We had invites to more than one "direct after school" party and managed somehow.

As a December baby myself I know how parties can go in the way of weekend activities and my mum always did an after school one.

Do most of his friends have a sahp? Or are they mainly working? If the latter you may have a problem if there's grandparents or childminders doing the pick up? Do most drive and can get to the trampoline place easily? And what about siblings...will they have to be taken along?

My daughters birthday is Christmas Eve and she's having her party on the first weekend in December as I predicted there would be low numbers. We have a lot of Christmas activities booked for the build up towards Christmas and I'm guessing most parents would too.

I'd be inclined to book it for the weekend before and tell a white lie to your ds that it was fully booked on the other day

It would have been a lovely end to the term for mine. You might lose one or two who are going away for Xmas and travelling as soon as school finishes.

Around wherr I live quite a few people would be going away on the last day of term to see their families abroad. You can only say how many children there are usually on the last day of term in December in your class.

I wouldn’t mind and have done it for one of mine in the past. When he was younger he used to celebrate his Christmas birthday as a family with panto and dinner out etc and he then had a summer birthday party with friends (but like the queen) and he loved that!

I think if you are effectively offering to be childcare for the afternoon then a lot of people will love you for this as they won't have to leave work early to collect or arrange childcare. If they need to drop and collect the child it maybe problematic. You could however suggest on the invitation that you have capacity to take any children whose parents maybe working. My children have a childminder but I would have no problem in saying they could to the party and miss the childminder for an afternoon provided they could go with the party host parent.

It really depends on what day you are breaking up and where the trampoline park is. Ours in on one of those out of town retail /leisure parks, not a chance in hell I'll be going anywhere near there after December 1st.

One of mine would never get to go because the contact order said half the holidays and her father would be there on the last day of term actually his mother because he CBA to pick her up.

The day before might be better?

If you can do a whatsapp where parents cam sort lifts with each other, that would help, and probably save some a bother with childcare.

I wouldn't have an issue with the final day of term and a trampoline park is an excellent place for hyped young children.

You'll never get everyone to agree on one day (I lie... the entire class came to DS2's spring birthday leaving us drowning in gifts!) If it's a smaller party, I would consider accomodating a best friend, but if it's a bigger group I wouldn't worry about the avaliability of more casual friends. TBH DS1's birthday is that week and he always had a healthy turn out. It clearly means something to your child to celebrate as close as possible to the proper time and that should be respected. DM often did my parties several weeks off, no "proper" reason, just poor organisation and it did feel a bit dislocated from my actual birthday and I can understand why December children wouldn't want their birthday shunted for the convenience of others.

December is a busy month. You're competing with all the Christmas stuff. My DS has a mid December birthday and we've always found mid-Jan works well for birthday parties. He likes it too as he gets two 'birthdays'...a day out to a theme park or similar with us and then a party with his friends. He'd be sad if none of them could come to his party, which is what would happen if we held it in December.

I think just after the end of term, in theory, is fine, but it would need to be end of day or over the weekend (which this year, presumably is actually Christmas). Even when school finishes early, I still have to work until the end of the day, so I wouldn't do a 1pm party. But a 5 or 6pm one would be fine. The fact it's Christmas wouldn't make any difference. Could you do it the weekend before?

I think it’s fine in principle but as mentioned, there may be an issue with logistics if people are working.

We also have an Xmas birthday in the family. We used to have parties on first or second weekend in Jan instead.

Thank you so much everyone, some really excellent points and logistics there! Unfortunately thanks to my work schedule I never or hardly ever do the school pick up so don't know any of the other parents at all and there's no class WhatsApp, but I've been put in WhatsApp group for party invites before so was already thinking along those lines, I just can't gauge opinion before invites are issued iyswim.

In terms of grandparent being there, yes ideally she would be. I'm a single parent, my parents are hugely involved in my children's day to day lives (they do school pick ups for example and have them until I finish work), DS would want her there and I don't have a partner to be an extra adult to help out beyond the scope of what I'd ask of a friend!

Location of the venue isn't an issue, it's amongst loads of office blocks about 5/10 mins drive from the school so no retail nightmares but yes, transport could be an issue, although presumably if parents are working they'd needed to have made arrangements for a half day pick up anyway. I've no issue with extra kids coming along as long as it doesn't start getting into unfeasible amounts of cash. I'm always hugely grateful when siblings are welcome as it solves a childcare headache for me so I'd extend the same for anyone else.

I do still think January would be better overall so a white lie might be better-the bags of display work and presents and cards weren't something I'd considered although thankfully the final week is fairly chill, no Christingle services here! We finish on the 17th as well, my goodness the 24th is late!

A late December birthday in the run up to Christmas does have the potential to be exciting and I'm glad that DS's c section ended up being scheduled three days before the big day because I imagine as an adult he'll have no issue rounding people up for the pub. Come back to me with talk of martyrs when your birthday is the 29th though and everyone's holed up with family, overstuffed with food and drink, skint and saving their last bit of energy for New Years. Not quite so fun

Thanks so much for all the considered responses everyone, really it could go either way but on balance I'm going to try and have one last stab at attempting a January party and if not then not feel quite so nervous about an end of term birthday being a disaster!

My dds birthday is just before christmas and i find people are just too busy to bother with parties, between santa visits, shopping, extra work hours etc so i always have it in january. I find that january is such a dull month that people are desperate to get their dc out of the house and we rarely have any no shows.