Has anyone transformed their money management skills and how

[GinandGobbledegook]

I am bad with money. My Husband is too.
I've spent my whole adult life in debt by a significant amount. It's serviceable because of our wages but it feels never ending. Despite having this around our necks, we haven't learnt. We still want things now instead of waiting. We still opt for takeaways when we can't be bothered to cook.

We've set up pots for seperate money (electronic envelope system) but dip in to them.

It's rediculous at our age and we need to be better.
We need to save for a deposit for a house when we finally get out of debt.

Has anyone gone from being appalling with money to actually managing it well? Can you tell me how?

Only use credit cards with specific set limits for monthly spending.

Treat savings as a direct debit - for me regular savers & investment ISAs that you can’t touch / require effort to access worked the best while I was getting used to a saving mindset. I also found sharesave really useful for this - so if either of you has access to a sharesave type scheme then go for it

Accept you’re a spender. That means don’t tell yourself you’ll pay off debts before saving. You’re a spender you won’t. Instead save or invest a specific percentage of your salary you know you waste on shit in a difficult to access account & also pay off debt. By doing this you will slowly develop a lump sum but it implies you knowing your finances and how much you waste and where.

I would stop the takeaways cold turkey. What is it that draws you to them?

What is it that draws people to takeaways? Well you don’t have to fucking cook them. Mostly they taste nice. Great invention.

I’m not super-great with money & earn a low wage but I do save as per a PP said, in a stocks and shares ISA that is extremely difficult to get cash out of.

Re the credit card suggestion - if you easily succumb to temptation, I wouldn't even have a credit card. I would do the opposite and put your money out of reach as much as possible.

For example, when you get paid - have a certain percentage that goes into a savings account that you can't touch easily.

I get paid monthly and my money goes into a savings account. Then from there a certain amount goes into account that all our direct debits come out of (e.g. water, electricity, pet/ car/ house insurance). Then x amount goes into a joint shopping account for groceries. A certain amount goes into savings. The rest goes into my current account as "fun money", I.e. for presents, clothes, takeaways - basically non essentials. So I know that what is in my current account is a "when it's gone, it's gone" scenario.

Try to stop spending on all non essentials.

I have always been reasonably good with money but I have recently realised how much money I have wasted in recent years. So I am trying to be better and give more thought to every purchase, no matter how small.

To avoid the temptation of takeaways, develop a repertoire of very quick but tasty dishes that can be your standby meals.

Apart fron direct debits for bills etc, I draw out a set amount of cash weekly and stick to using that.

Use cash only for a while- it's an eye opener!! Things cost a lot in notes!
(From someone equally shit with money!)

If you are a spender then you need a spending plan rather than a budget. However, it is the same thing. It reframes the way you look at your spending and encourage you to take responsibility for managing your various 'envelopes'.

For every takeaway, you are effectively taking that amount of money away from your future self. Is it worth it? Batch cooking for when you can't be bothered to cook is an alternative.

Pay yourself first. This means set aside a fixed amount each month and put it in your savings account. Treat it as a bill. Then pay a fixed amount to service your debts.

Work out your total monthly expenditure. Don't forget annual expenses - divide these by 12.

Good luck to you.

I would think about the bigger picture and make saving a choice you would choose over a take away (because of what it would bring you - flexibility, freedom, options). I watched this ted talk the other day and found it really motivating!

https://www.ted.com/talks/laceyfilipichhwhyyouushouldthinkkaboutfinanciallindependenceanddminiretirements?utmmcampaign=tedspread&utmmedium=referral&utmm_source=tedcomshare

We had to hit the bottom OP and I had an IVA. Once that was clear I did get into debt again by far far less once or twice but DH once he got out he stayed out.

We’ve been totally debt free for over 8 years now it might be even longer. We both have one credit card each (we have Amex to earn points). We use it as a debit card throughout the month and then pay off - the money we aren’t spending from the bank account pays it. At first I would spend then literally pay what I just spent online as I was worried it would get out of hand.

We do still buy takeaways etc but now it’s just within our means.

You really have to not dip into the envelopes.

I now:
Transfer whatever is left on payday to savings so I start with a fresh pot.

Most days I transfer any odd change under £5 to a different account.

On pay day transfer to savings - in my case it is only whatever is over the nearest thousand so if it was £1,300 I would save £300.

Good luck, it can be done. I haven’t read yet but I am sure there is lots of great advice.

Some good advice re take away here. I try now to lovely meal plan and pre prep some food for two days. The take away isn’t because we love take away it’s because we cannot be bothered to cook so this helps.

My biggest thing was that instead of burying my head in the sand by not checking my bank account and continuing to spend (not crazy spending, just uninformed spending which was too much for what I had to spend), I began to check my bank account regularly. That's it. It gave me feeling of control, I began to imagine some of that money in savings, and now it is.

Now to do the same with my pension

Unlink your cards from everything. Get rid of all takeaway ordering apps and delete the numbers from your phone. Get a stock of easy meals in the freezer for these days.
Resolve to think about discretionary spending for seven days before buying. Often the desire has cooled by then. It's about not spending impulsively.

CAP do a money course about budgeting etc. You don't have to be religious to go on it. There might be one running nearby. Good luck with changing some of your habits, I'm sure you'll feel the benefit of being more in control.

If takeaways are your thing, then you need to get more organised with your shopping so that you are always looking forward to tasty home cooked food.

People can be really judge-y about food but really you don’t have to cook, it isn’t the law. But do fill your cupboards, fridge or freezer with quick tasty food.

We stock ready meals to avoid takeaways. It's no use fighting the impulse for an easy way out by saying "plan easy meals".

I have literally boxed up chopped veg and meat and stuck in the fridge in favour of a takeaway, but I've never done that with a ready meal.

One thing that helped me with credit card bills was switching to paying them off in full monthly it was very painful at first and at times since but did help brain realise the full implication of putting things on them.

Perhaps it would also help to have a takeaway allowance. You can have 2 a month or something just to help cut back without feeling completely overwhelmed.

Good luck, it's a long journey to financial independence but very worth it for your mental health in the end. There is an incredible forum on reddit called UK personal finance and people will help you with all levels of money management. It's been a goldmine for me.

I find writing down all the key expenditure really helps, then you know how much you have left over. It all sounds overwhelming at the minute, so at least knowing where you stand will help.

Agree with getting a batch of frozen easy to cook/microwave meals in. Harder to persuade yourself you need a curry, when there's one in the freezer, ditto with fish and chips that can be heated up.

See if there are any cheap/free ways you can get enjoyment. I've recently converted Tesco points into cineworld membership so we can go out once a week free of cost ( if I can keep DH away from the overpriced stale nachos ).

I have 1 credit card with a 0 balance on it for emergencies but I don’t carry it with me unless I am abroad. The main thing I did was switch to a Monzo account, I can see immediately what is going out and how much I am spending on a daily basis. I did used to look at my account every couple of days but having notifications to my phone with Monzo (Starling is the same) has made a huge difference for me

Can you stock your fridge/freezer with supermarket versions of your favourite takeaways, so at least it's cheaper?

Agree with making it easier to make cheaper choices, eg if you go out and spend money because you want something to do, the cinema card is a good idea, as long as you can avoid the stupidly priced snacks, because it's a good couple of hours where you're not wandering around the shops looking for something to buy?

You need to make it harder to access money in the pots you are trying to stop yourself spending from. Hide the cards and bank log in details away, so you can't easily use them. Then just have cards for your spending money and grocery shopping etc. Just have one or two cards each on you, if you are separating essentials like food and transport from personal spending and discretionary items like a meal out together.

Have you seen the Moneysaving Expert demotivator? If you need an illustration how much the 'it's only a few quid' adds up to it you do it every day/week for the long term.

www.moneysavingexpert.com/shopping/demotivator/

For example, a tenner a day on coffee and lunch is over £2k per year. If you put this money in an investment product instead, you'd probably have about £30k or more after 10 years.

Oh, and think about how much that money that you're currently using to pay off debt will build up to. If it's hundreds of pounds a month, if you keep saving that amount towards a deposit when you're out of debt, it will build up quickly.

Also, just checking that you've got all your debt onto interest free/low interest cards or loans, so your payments are reducing the debt not going on interest?

Also if you're currently under 40, you both have LISAs for the deposit, even if you can't afford to put anything in it right now? Although, if your debt is interest free, it's probably worth putting the amount that qualifies you for the tax free bonus even if it delays your debt free date by a few months.

Cold turkey! Cutting back on unnecessary stuff and spending without using credit. Checking for better deals for services and insurances. During lockdown I managed to pay off my debts as I was not spending as much. Also, I stopped paying for the freeloaders that were attached to me. Took them out of my life and now almost two years later the money I used to spend on them and repaying debt turned into cash left for saving. I also opened a fun pot for Xmas and holidays. I must say it is a great feeling. I feel I was lucky to have read some financial advised online that inspire me to change my habits.

I used to be appalling with money. I am now very good. In fact DH says I've gone to far the other way and question every spend, rarely fritter a penny away, use save the change on my bank, use topcashback, look for discount codes everywhere. He may scoff but I paid the mortgage off 10 years early and have managed to put thousands away in savings alone tin the last 18 months.
It is changing your mindset and looking at how much you do squander..
Look at how much you are paying in takeaways. Now times that over a month then a year and then 5 years. It takes no time to make pizza, in fact it can be quicker than waiting for a delivery. Indian fakeaways can be made and frozen in advance.
You can still have takeaways of course. Don't ban them. We have one about once every 4 or 5 months.

I have a 20 pound note in my purse and make that last as long as I can. It stops incidental spending and makes me question whether I actually need something or not. Sometimes I see something and say to myself I'll come back for it. If later on I'm still thinking about it, then fair enough. More often than not I've forgotten about it.

It's a good feeling watching your savings grow!

This was me a while ago as I had zero financial education as a young adult and quickly fell into the credit card trap.

What has worked for me is seeing it as a challenge (I am rabidly competitive which helps)

We have "electronic envelopes" but I've been quite generous with them so there should be something left at the end of the month which I can transfer to savings. This gives me an incentive to do it again next month IYSWIM.

We don't have many takeaways as we live quite rurally and cannot get delivery, but I did see on a similar thread that you should keep Cook meals in for those days when you can't be bothered to cook. They are expensive, but certainly not takeaway expensive.

I've also found perversely that sometimes chucking money at the problem in the first place helps. For example, by using a recipe box service or stocking up with Cook / M&S meals the initial grocery budget may be greater, but you don't splurge on takeaways so cheaper in the long run.

It was a slow start with several mishaps along the way, but it's horribly addictive now. I think because I'm late to it I can actually see the benefits if that makes sense? The only issue we've had is a residual guilt that we've wasted so much money in the past, however it's spent now and we are doing the best we can to make up for it.