Raising transference with therapist

[liliainterfrutices]

Has anyone done this and found that it's worked out OK?
I've reached a point where it's difficult to move forward without explaining how important she is to me (and I hate the term transference, because it feels as if I'm responding to something very authentic in her), but if she doesn't respond in the way I want her to, it will just feel devastating and really shaming. I'll probably have to stop therapy.

I posted this in MH as well, but it's not getting any responses there.

What is it specifically that’s stopping you moving forward? What are you worried she will say?

What is it you want to say exactly? The way you feel about her sounds normal and understandable but not sure I’m grasping what you mean.

Try to talk to her. She’ll have experienced this before and will handle it professionally.

Sorry. I know I’m being a bit opaque. It’s just feeling really attached to her and dependent on her. I’m worried she’ll find it a bit much/ tiresome. Itgets in the way because that’s what I focus on. Thanks for answering.

I’m worried she’ll say she thinks it would be better to see someone else. Rationally I’m almost sure she won’t, but it still feels humiliating and pathetic.

if she doesn't respond in the way I want her to, it will just feel devastating and really shaming

How would you like her to respond?

Honestly, I found that this was when I experienced a breakthrough in therapy. Talking to the therapist about the fact that I was feeling frightened of being vulnerable with them because of the place they now occupied in my mind... That was when thr magic started to happen and I got much better.

That’s really good to hear, river. I’m so glad things went well for you.

ouch Good question. I suppose I focussed on how I don’t want her to respond . . . I’d like her to stay very warm and supportive and not tolook horrified or weary.

I think you should tell her everything you've put here. Agree with @riverpebbles that this can be a really important part of the therapeutic process. I know it's scary though!

What type of therapist is she OP? Psychotherapy? Cbt?

It is well documented that up to 40% of outcomes relate to the therapeutic relationship.

She is doing a good job.

www.family-institute.org/behavioral-health-resources/importance-relationship-therapist

@liliainterfrutices

I’m worried she’ll say she thinks it would be better to see someone else. Rationally I’m almost sure she won’t, but it still feels humiliating and pathetic.

A good therapist will "use" the transference to help you understand yourself better and heal.she/he will do this hopefully skillful.I expect your therapist has supervision.

She’s a psychotherapist.

Thanks for posting that link more - that’s really interesting.

Thanks frazzled. I probably will, because the only alternative is staying blocked in this kind of limbo. But it is scart.

scary not scart

I think a psychotherapist will be absolutely fine with it and expect it.

But if it's hard start with that "it's really hard for me to talk about this, I'm worried you'll think it's too much but ..."

I couldn't see someone who was to do with my mental health care anymore (I'm being very vague here as I don't give details online). I was terrified at first all of the things that could happen when I couldn't see her anymore. But I'm fine. None of the things happened and everything has been the way she said it would be.

Why is it you think you depend on her so much? Is that actually helpful to you or is it stopping you actually adress your issues ?

That’s good sayiy - thank you.

She’s just lovely - really warm and supportive and kind, so I find that really comforting. I don’t know if it helps or hinders. Glad things worked out for you makelove.

Who does she remind you of op?

I trained as a therapist and have been in therapy with two different therapists over the years. I think if she's a psychotherapist then she will be expecting this anyway and won't react negatively. Your feelings and fears around telling her will probably make for really interesting work.

Thank you nordica - that’s really helpful.

I don’t really know, ihate - it’s more that she’s like someone I wished I knew. She’s like the reverse of people who were quite damaging.

I'm going through something similar. If OP is around, how did it end up?