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Original poster

Fertility clinic mixed up embryos

47 replies

RunningFromInsanity · 09/11/2021 11:05

Saw this article about a fertility clinic mixing up embryos and implanting them in the wrong women.

It was only discovered when the babies were 3months old, and the parents swapped babies back at that point.

Could you have given up the baby you grew, carried, loved and bonded for 3months, and swap it for another, even if that other baby was genetically yours?

Or do you keep the baby and know that he/she isn’t yours, and your baby was out there somewhere?

What a choice to have to make Sad

news.sky.com/story/amp/two-california-couples-give-birth-to-each-others-babies-after-mix-up-at-fertility-clinic-12464274

OP posts:
TheLovleyChebbyMcGee · 09/11/2021 11:10

Its a horrible choice to make. I don't know what I'd do at all!

Spikeyball · 09/11/2021 11:13

You would have to put the interests of the children first which at this age would definitely be to return them to their biological parents. This would have been even worse if only one pregnancy had occurred.

Original poster
RunningFromInsanity · 09/11/2021 11:20

Jeez didn’t even think about if only one pregnancy had been successful

OP posts:

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Families
ShaneTheThird · 09/11/2021 11:23

Not the same but years ago there was a case of newborns switched in a hospital and it was a while letter it was discovered. Even sadder one half of the family wanted to keep the child they had raised but also wanted custody of their genetic child as well. That didn't happen thank god but imagine if they had been successful in taking both children.

MonsteraDeliciosa · 09/11/2021 11:24

Awful, but what an even worse scenario if the other pregnancy hadn't been successful too!

ElephantOfRisk · 09/11/2021 11:32

These and the ones where babies were mixed up are really awful for all involved. I did see one where the DC were older, maybe 3ish? And the families basically moved in together and raised the children between them for a couple of years until they were both properly bonded with their genetic parents. It worked well for them but I think you'd have to have the right mix of personalities and put in an awful lot of hard work.

I think the girls ended up considering themselves as sisters and the families remained close.

MrsMo21 · 09/11/2021 11:40

I would say that this thread could potentially be triggering for women having had IVF.
I know for me after having my DD when I was really suffering with post natal anxiety (caused by infertility) this was my worst fear and a very intrusive thought.

Original poster
RunningFromInsanity · 09/11/2021 11:44

@MrsMo21

I would say that this thread could potentially be triggering for women having had IVF. I know for me after having my DD when I was really suffering with post natal anxiety (caused by infertility) this was my worst fear and a very intrusive thought.
I couldn’t have made the title any more obvious as to what the thread is about…
OP posts:
SleighBells21 · 09/11/2021 11:44

I done IVF and this was always my biggest fear.

SarahAndQuack · 09/11/2021 11:45

@Spikeyball

You would have to put the interests of the children first which at this age would definitely be to return them to their biological parents. This would have been even worse if only one pregnancy had occurred.
How do you know it'd be in their best interests? I find this a really interesting - but surprising - view.

I think my kneejerk reaction is that I would probably want to keep contact with the other family but not swap the babies back, but my view is probably influenced by the fact DD isn't my biological child, so I have a first-hand awareness of how you bond with a child that isn't biologically yours.

It must be horrifically traumatic, though, to have to face such a decision. Awful! IMO there ought to be rules about it so that the parents do not have to make a decision either way, and it should be discussed during IVF as a (remote) possibility.

Kentuckycarby · 09/11/2021 11:46

@ MrsMo21 that’s understandable but there’s so many triggering things that people can relate to on this website, we can’t censor everything or else the website would be empty

SarahAndQuack · 09/11/2021 11:46

FWIW, @RunningFromInsanity, when I saw your thread title my immediate thought what someone had discarded embryos by mistake pre-implantation, rather than implanted the wrong ones, because I've actually heard of that happening in a non 'OMG medical controversy int the paper' context. I don't mean that as any criticism, just I can see the thread title isn't entirely unambiguous.

Allthesefolks · 09/11/2021 11:49

I heard a statement from one of the mothers on the radio this morning and she said they were “forced” to give them back, I presumed legally but maybe just because it’s the “right” thing to do in the situation? Not that there is a right way, its absolutely heart breaking to think about it for everyone involved.

SarahAndQuack · 09/11/2021 11:49

@Allthesefolks

I heard a statement from one of the mothers on the radio this morning and she said they were “forced” to give them back, I presumed legally but maybe just because it’s the “right” thing to do in the situation? Not that there is a right way, its absolutely heart breaking to think about it for everyone involved.
That's terribly sad. And YY, there's no right way, is there?
MrsMo21 · 09/11/2021 12:03

@SarahAndQuack

FWIW, *@RunningFromInsanity*, when I saw your thread title my immediate thought what someone had discarded embryos by mistake pre-implantation, rather than implanted the wrong ones, because I've actually heard of that happening in a non 'OMG medical controversy int the paper' context. I don't mean that as any criticism, just I can see the thread title isn't entirely unambiguous.
Indeed.
Runningupthecurtains · 09/11/2021 12:07

Our IVF clinic went over and over the protocols in place to ensure this didn't happen. I was always asked to check and double check the references on everything. Are you satisfied these are your eggs? Check. Are you happy that this is DH's sperm? Here is the chain of 'evidence' that these are your embryos are you happy and ready to go ahead? Check.
I guess the regulations in the USA are a lot less stringent. It would have taken willful mislabeling to cause something like that here.

SarahAndQuack · 09/11/2021 12:10

@Runningupthecurtains

Our IVF clinic went over and over the protocols in place to ensure this didn't happen. I was always asked to check and double check the references on everything. Are you satisfied these are your eggs? Check. Are you happy that this is DH's sperm? Here is the chain of 'evidence' that these are your embryos are you happy and ready to go ahead? Check. I guess the regulations in the USA are a lot less stringent. It would have taken willful mislabeling to cause something like that here.
I feel awful saying this in this context, but TBH, I remember DP and me laughing at the sperm check - it just seemed so silly to expect us to 'recognise' it was 'ours'. There was a long reference number on it, but, of course, that doesn't mean it can't be mislabelled.

I would really hope the clinic had good procedures, but I don't think the checks they ask clients to make can be part of that really.

SpamIAm · 09/11/2021 12:12

Such an awful situation. I'd want both babies but of course that's not fair. But to be expected to choose between the child you carried and your biological child is just an impossible choice.

@SarahAndQuack in the UK at least I assume the 'rules' are clear - the woman who carries a child is it's legal mother, regardless of genetics I think?

SarahAndQuack · 09/11/2021 12:15

YY, in the UK it is clear but I think the US it's usually presumed to be the opposite? I'm not sure if it varies by state even.

Runningupthecurtains · 09/11/2021 12:18

I can't remember the details as it's a long time ago now but our checks were just a small part of it - it was explained that a staff member would only have access to one set of "stuff" at a time so they couldn't get distracted by a phone call and pop label A on sample B etc. Our checks were just the final set in a long series that ensured that mistakes couldn't just happen. Everything was triple checked at every stage and there was really no potential for a mix up.

SarahAndQuack · 09/11/2021 12:19

Oh, sure! I absolutely trusted ours were doing all the behind-the-scenes checks. I just mean, you as a patient don't actually have much input (and can't). Even though I'm sure those poor people are frantically second-guessing what they could have done.

NorthSouthcatlady · 09/11/2021 12:29

It is surprising that it worked for both families, as typically IVF is more likely to fail than work. It’s a worrying story and shows the clinics protocols weren’t robust enough. Clinics l have used typically get you to quote your individual reference number during interactions and at the clinic you have a wrist tag they constantly check. Horrendous situations for the families to be put into, especially after the stress of infertility issues and IVF

Spikeyball · 09/11/2021 12:34

"How do you know it'd be in their best interests? I find this a really interesting - but surprising - view."

Because it avoids adding some of the complications of what is in many respects an adoption into the childrens lives. It isn't the same as a donor situation as this situation was never intended and it is not about a non biological child being loved any less ( I know that from personal experience). If the children were any older I think it becomes far more complicated and I certainly don't think a 'swap' is right beyond babyhood.

Mseddy · 09/11/2021 12:41

I have a 9 week old DD who was conceived via IVF with sperm from my husband frozen 10 years ago and moved from one clinic to another before we used it. She was also frozen for 3 months before implantation. So a few risk "opportunities" for a mix up. We have joked about it in the past about what if her eyes aren't blue (we are both blue) maybe she's not "ours". But the reality is I love the little girl sat in my arms right now unconditionally. Genetics is a condition. If someone told me tomorrow she wasn't genetically mine it wouldn't change how much i love her. I love her for her. Her little personality. Yes I would be sad that a genetic child of mine possibly existed elsewhere. But that baby would be someone else's child just as she is mine. And knowing what we went through to get her, I know the other child would be just as loved and cherished as she is.

AndTime · 09/11/2021 12:45

@Mseddy

I have a 9 week old DD who was conceived via IVF with sperm from my husband frozen 10 years ago and moved from one clinic to another before we used it. She was also frozen for 3 months before implantation. So a few risk "opportunities" for a mix up. We have joked about it in the past about what if her eyes aren't blue (we are both blue) maybe she's not "ours". But the reality is I love the little girl sat in my arms right now unconditionally. Genetics is a condition. If someone told me tomorrow she wasn't genetically mine it wouldn't change how much i love her. I love her for her. Her little personality. Yes I would be sad that a genetic child of mine possibly existed elsewhere. But that baby would be someone else's child just as she is mine. And knowing what we went through to get her, I know the other child would be just as loved and cherished as she is.
Absolutely lovely post and this just made my mind up that the right thing to do is keep the child you carried.
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