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Original poster

Stratagies for ignoring awful next door neighbours when moving is not an option..

144 replies

Londonlassie12 · 09/11/2021 10:03

Posted about them on here before so wont go into the ins & outs again... They are trying to make our lives hell, have turned the whole street against us, play music up against our shared fence 24 hours a day (council have been informed as I'm logging all but have been useless). Always a snide comment when we leave the house, they stop & stare at me. Every time I go into the garden with the dogs, they bang the fence upsetting the dogs & turn music up.. Moving is not an option for at least 10 years, we simply cannot afford it... Please give me some coping stragegies... Would a water feature block out their garden noise?

OP posts:

LaBellina · 09/11/2021 10:08

Oh god I feel for you OP.
Home should be a safe place but unfortunately some neighbors are absolute psychopaths. Unfortunately there’s not much you can do, keep a log, keep complaining to the council and perhaps contact a legal professional to see if there’s anything they can do. And hope and pray they’ll soon get enough of it and (unfortunately for that other person) find another victim soon for their bullying. I really feel for you.

Original poster

Londonlassie12 · 09/11/2021 10:10

Thanks it's unrelenting... We are both homeowners in a lovely estate & we cannot sell at the moment... Unfortunately I feel like I'm going to lose the rag with them & I need to rein myself in

OP posts:

LaBellina · 09/11/2021 10:12

That’s exactly what they want. Don’t step to their level as tempting as it is.

I have experienced this problem too and looking back I would wear a bodycam to record their harassment, it’s so hard to prove a pattern when it’s neighbors.

Dragonfire282 · 09/11/2021 10:12

I really really feel for you, we had problems with our neighbours for 18 months and it very quickly made me ill, thankfully they moved but I was at the point where I would have taken a financial hit to get out of there. I wish I had some decent advice.

Original poster

Londonlassie12 · 09/11/2021 10:14

We installed cctv front & back but a bodycam is a great idea

OP posts:

Original poster

Londonlassie12 · 09/11/2021 10:16

Dragonfly, it's terrible isn't it. I work from home but I'm so unproductive, it's draining all my energy, it's all I can think about... Imagining what I'd do or say in situations, thinking of strategies to get one up on them... I feel awkward on the street as they have turned the whole neighbourhood against it & it's not my imagination...

OP posts:

LaBellina · 09/11/2021 10:16

Yes, body cam and record everything. Keep a diary is what the police advised me at that time.

Original poster

Londonlassie12 · 09/11/2021 10:19

I have a diary of everything... I thought they would have tired of it by now, it's been going on since June...

OP posts:

Sunshineandrainbow · 09/11/2021 10:23

I have no advice but really really feel for you. I have similar and used to dread coming home and would pull into street if they were out the front.
Ignore is the best strategy in the hope they get tired of it.
Could you put noise cancelling head phones on when you go out in garden so at least you don't hear it.
Honestly it is depressing what lengths people go to.
Life is too short to have to live like this and I hope you get out quicker.

Dragonfire282 · 09/11/2021 10:24

Londonlassie12 i know you said you can't afford to move and obviously you've done your sums but is there absolutely no way? Even if you move to a worse area or a smaller house? I really think anything would be better than this especially as it's affecting your work. This could really ruin your life for the next 10 years.

Original poster

Londonlassie12 · 09/11/2021 10:25

It's just awful, the noise cancelling earphones are a good idea

OP posts:

Returnoftheowl · 09/11/2021 10:26

Have you considered learning the trombone?

Seriously tho, I have a lot of sympathy... My last neighbours are dicks and in the end we moved. The bodycam sounds like a reasonable idea.

Original poster

Londonlassie12 · 09/11/2021 10:27

No we're not in a position to move at all, in negative equity & no savings...

OP posts:

KittenCatcher · 09/11/2021 10:27

If you put up a fence I front of the shared one would it drown out the noise. Are they watching you from upstairs to see when you are going out in the garden, or do they hear the dogs out there. Are they waiting and watching you leave the house, that's harrassment, have the police been able to advise you. We have a ndn who has tried to turn the street against us, he is a sad little idiot who thinks he is King Of The Road because he has been here the longest. Dont stoop to their level.

Dragonfire282 · 09/11/2021 10:35

Londonlassie12 I knew that was a daft question. I'm really sorry you're in this position.

Original poster

Londonlassie12 · 09/11/2021 10:44

They hear the door opening kittencatcher....my dogs are old & wouldn't be barky enough to alert them..

OP posts:

Defiantly41 · 09/11/2021 10:49

Can you install a dog flap rather than opening the door? Leave the door on the latch so it makes less sound? ( only suggesting these 2 because you WFH )

KittenCatcher · 09/11/2021 10:51

Ours does this, every time they hear our door open out they go. It's awful isn't it. Has anyone else complained about the constant music.

Seeline · 09/11/2021 10:54

Grow some thick shrubs against the fence - quick growing ones so that the soon exceed the height of the fence. They will act as a physical barrier and help a little with the noise - especially when they bang it.

I would be tempted to never leave the house without earphones in (whether you have anything playing is up to you) to give the impression that you can't hear anything. I would also consider sunglasses.

Do not engage with them - ever. Ignore, ignore, ignore.

Can you improve screening/separation in the front garden - fence, hedge etc. Anything that will help you feel less spied on.

5thnonblonde · 09/11/2021 10:54

How odd- what’s in it for them? What’s the appeal in going out each time? Could you run lots of little errands in the garden and go in and out 8 times to show how silly they’re being?!

bluelavender · 09/11/2021 10:59

It sounds incredibly stressful; and may over time really contribute to you having feelings of anxiety? There is support available locally through the NHS for talking therapies that can help you better manage stress and anxiety, and this might help to prevent you from becoming ill, in what sounds like a very difficult situation. Best of luck to you

starrynight21 · 09/11/2021 10:59

I'd put up a tall fence just inside the existing one. Then they couldn't see you, and it might help to mute the music they play.

Dreamstate · 09/11/2021 11:02

Try wearing headphones if out in your garden. I have noisy neighbours who when they know I am in turn up their voices and talking obnoxiously loud. I just sit in the garden reading a book with headphones in and its stopped them now they realised

TheOrigRights · 09/11/2021 11:02

In what way have they turned all the neighbours against you?
Surely your neighbours can see how awful your immediate neighbours are and would either not get involved or would make their own judgement.

Original poster

Londonlassie12 · 09/11/2021 11:05

Yes I'll have to do that...i thought a water feature may help drown it out too... No one else has complained about the music as its directly against our fence & wouldn't travel far enough to the other houses... They are very strategic...

OP posts:

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