Has anyone experienced this *trigger warning sexual abuse

[bubbleblower85]

Hi to all who reads.

I believe as a child I was sexually abused.... knowledge of sexual things at a very early age, stimulating sexual behaviour as a 5-6 year old with another child.
Hate and always feared anything being inserted in my private (don't enjoy sex, couldn't handle examinations of privates when pregnant/when I was induced etc). Not sure if this is related to the above but hate toilets (commodes), can't even look at photos of toilets in advertising etc.
Now I have a baby girl and my anxiety (I am sure all new parents have anxiety and worries about their babies being safe from sexual abuse) is really strong around her safety, feel like I question every man in our life around her.

However I have no memory of childhood sexual abuse, just strong feelings I was. I wish there was knowing one way or another just so I could closure from these feelings.

Has anyone experienced this? What did you do about it.

Thank you.

Sending love.

Whether you are able to resolve or understand these feelings, I don't know, but I would recommend exploring trauma therapy or EMDF with an experienced practitioner (it is not right for every situation or every person).

Thank you for your comment. I am not sure if EMDF would work as I don't necessarily have a trigger or memory etc and not sure if the toilet thing is related.

Yes, I’m the same. I’ve taught my kids from a young age about private parts and am very picky about who I leave them with.

I wondered about asking my parents if anything happened to me but fear it will upset them

Oh I am so sorry to hear that, glad to hear your being proactive around your children's health and safety.
I would say if you have a good relationship with your parents then you should try and talk about this feeling with them.

I don't have a good relationship with my mum, and I know she wouldn't be of any help, but it is also possible that she might not have known if anything did happen. Same with your parents.

I hate this ambiguity of feeling!!!

If you don't mind, can I ask how you manage this feeling?

I don't think I manage mine, just experience it and get anxious but don't know what to do with it.

I hope you are in a much better place now xxx

^ to OnceuponaRainbow18

@bubbleblower85

I don’t really manage it I just try and not think about it and keep my mind busy. I sometimes wonder if going to therapy would help but not sure if reliving something I can’t really remember would be beneficial, it’s a hard decision.

Do you have flash backs or anything or a feeling of unease?

[quote OnceuponaRainbow18]@bubbleblower85

I don’t really manage it I just try and not think about it and keep my mind busy. I sometimes wonder if going to therapy would help but not sure if reliving something I can’t really remember would be beneficial, it’s a hard decision.

Do you have flash backs or anything or a feeling of unease?[/quote]
Gosh that's so me!!! I feel the same as you regarding therapy, what can they do about a feeling but no concrete memory.....but don't know if we don't try.

No just a sense of unease, sometimes questions all the men (I know women can be sexual abusers too) in my life who were around me in childhood even dead family members.

Really hate this but don't know can be done.

Sending you lots of positive energy and hope you heal too xxx