No support

[Sarah56721]

Hello, just looking for some advice as feeling really down at the moment.
I have recently moved to a new area for a better job, job is great and I'm really enjoying it. I am a lone parent to a nearly 12 year old. I have literally no support, I didn't where I lived before ( mother with mental health issues and no siblings). Ds father used to have him one night a week, but obviously less now. Ds is really hard work and walks all over me, I just need someone to help me with him but his Dad is not interested. I was hoping I might meet a new partner at work, but as usual everyone is already in a relationship. I have just tried online dating, but in the small little town that I live in I have exhausted all options, and I don't drive. I have been on my own for five years now, and I am very independent, but after all this time I'm just so feed up with having to cope with everything on my own and no hope of that changing.

Sorry you feel like this 💐

I always think loneliness is the worst pain. Maybe the hope of fresh start and meeting someone has lead to a little despondency as it hasn't gone to plan.

I think being in a relationships does help with esteem and loneliness so I would keep on with the dating apps even if it does mean looking further afield and try a range of apps. Some one said I here that relationships make life easier and pleasanter. If I understand correctly and you have moved to a new area you can't have been looking in that long in the apps and new people join all the time so keep on going (I met dh on an dating site)

As for your son I would email the school and as to speak to the deputy head and see how he is getting on and if they can help you in anyway.

Also why not post on here or you need help with your son? Or anything for a bit of chat.

Might be grind right now but it will get better and you need a bit of settling time. I would try and go out for one evening per week to a group or something to see new faces. Can you some be left for a few hours? Or take him out every say Thursday somewhere so you have that routine.

Sorry not much help hopefully someone else will have some words of wisdom.

It's not easy at all OP.
I am pleased you are loving the job as if you didn't it would be much worse!

You say your DS is walking all over you...in what way?

You have moved areas so does that mean he has moved schools? Lost friends?
If so he is probably really struggling.
Are there any clubs/hobbies you can get him involved in?

I had to check I hadn’t written this as I’m in a very similar situation.
Ds has various disabilities and is very hard work, I would say put your foot down now as I have had to, it will make you both happier in the long run.
If you can make work friends and see if there are any hobbies or anything (Zumba/art/slimming world) to make friends that will help. Build up a circle of friends and you will feel better. Mr right will come along at some point I’m sure

Slimming world was good for me when I moved. Didn't go expecting to make friends but after several months of enjoying just for the chit chat and seeing the same familiar faces I realised that my neighbour was also their we get on lovely and she is a very lovely friend.

Thanks for replies. I have been isolating for 10 days and as I have so little else in my life I don't think that has helped. I get to return to the office tomorrow thank God!
We moved in time for my son to start secondary, he has made plenty of friends. He's just always been more wilfull than other kids. Not coming in for tea until half and hour after I've called him, whereas if it was his Dad shouting he'd come back straight away, it's just all a bit exhausting and my personality is quite laid back which doesn't help.
I will continue with the online dating otherwise I'm in danger of getting an inappropriate crush on a work colleague which has happened before! I was thinking possibly the gym one evening as Ds is ok for a couple of hours now. Thanks again x

Not coming in for tea from where?

The not coming in for tea on time was a thing with my boys at that age.
I solved it fairly quickly by removing their phone/x box/tablet for double the time they were late back.

Within a week they stopped being late.

You do have to be tougher OP as awful as it feels at the time it's for the greater good.
I also made sure I did quality time with them.
Not just the day to day stuff but 1 day a week we did something fun like bowling, cinema, bike ride...I even did a scooter park once but I wasn't very good and they didn't suggest that activity again

Only playing out locally!