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How do you stop worrying about secondary school issues?

1 reply

Strikethecorm · 08/11/2021 16:34

My dd is in year 7 at secondary school. She has always been a sensitive and quiet girl. She had a small group of friends in primary school but now that she has started secondary seems to have made no friends. She hangs out with two girls who were at the same primary school as her but that’s it.

She hasn’t made any friends in her new form and despite trying to talk to them she says they ignore her, don’t want to be her friend. Unfortunately there does seem to be some segregation by race. All the girls of colour are in one group, white girls in one group and Asian girls in another. DD doesn’t belong to any of them.

My heart breaks for her when I see her coming out of school walking alone. If her two friends from primary aren’t in school then she spends lunch time alone. Today she texted me saying she was sat outside on her own.

I emailed her form tutor who to be honest wasn’t that helpful and just said dd always seems happy during form time.

I know dd has to make friends on her own and there’s literally nothing I can do but I can’t stop worrying about it all. If she’s had a bad day it means I’ve had a bad day. How do other parents cope with the worry? I’ve tried talking to friends but their dc seem to have no issues at school so they can’t really help.

OP posts:
Ilovethewild · 08/11/2021 17:00

Op, prepare yourself for 2 years of ‘friendship issues’, it’s a difficult time in years 7/8 as friends change and develop.

However you can do a lot (for your dd)

  1. Help her to develop outside interests/clubs etc
  2. Get her to Do after school activities to meet likeminded people
  3. Encourage her to say hi to new faces, outside her class
  4. Continue with the 2 friends by inviting around, meeting up outside school
  5. Have meeting with school around how they can support dd to develop friends
  6. For you- chill… it’s only been a few weeks of year 7!
  7. Talk about friendships in general

Try not to micromanage her,

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