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Grief making my dd say cruel things to me?

1 reply

Lollyneenah · 07/11/2021 22:23

I don't know how to deal with this to be honest, so just hoping someone has been through similar and can lend an ear and advise.

My dd is 8 and has had a really tough year, she's lost two grandparents on her dads side, and I lost my dmum two months ago.
So she's had 3 close family members die in 10 months, and that is very tough on anyone.
She's been very brave, and open in saying she is sad and will miss them, however this behaviour of saying quite cruel things to me has appeared recently.
It's never in anger but she will say;
"Some times I think you're quite ugly"
"I thought this morning that I don't love you"
"You don't love me, you'll forget about me"

I just am struggling so much with it. We have such a happy loving relationship, and are so close.

I'm not sure if she's testing me because of not knowing how to cope with grief feelings.
I'm still grieving myself for my mum but I try not to let it show, it was covid so it still hurts often.

My usual reaction is to hug her and say she's okay and I love her no matter what. I'll be honest though, it fucking stings hearing it.

OP posts:
Clawdy · 07/11/2021 23:31

What a dreadful time for you all, so sorry. Sounds as if what you are doing is right, reassuring her that she is loved. Maybe you could carefully discuss losing your mum with her, though I realise that would be very difficult. What a nightmare for you.

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