Anyone with a DS with an ADHD diagnosis who is more inattentive than hyperactive?

[Addanotherone]

I strongly suspect I have adhd myself, but I initially started looking into adhd because I was worried about DS (9). He can be extremely talkative and fairly hyperactive at times but he's mostly extremely inattentive and disorganised. His behaviour is becoming a daily struggle for me, but I don't feel it's the kind of bad behaviour that disciplining him is going to solve.

He can become hyper focused on certain things and stick with tasks he's interested in. He also daydreams a lot.

At school he's always done well and has been considered well-behaved because he's polite and considerate but I'm worried something is being missed.

After going through home schooling during lockdown and seeing how he coped outside of the structure of the classroom I later asked his teacher to watch him and let me know if she felt he has issues with concentration. She said she didn't have concerns because he doesn't mess around in class. But she did admit he doesn't always know what he's supposed to be doing once given instructions. I've seen that myself, and then he gets stressed that he doesn't know what he's supposed to do.

He's very bright and completes quick tasks easily, but a longer task such as story writing is something he does have significant problems with even though he has a good writing style. He struggles to make a start because he panics, and rarely finishes. All of his teachers have consistently spotted this kind of thing since he started school and have said he needs to be better at time management.

More recently his new teacher has indicated there's a level of disruption going on.

I feel my symptoms went completely under the radar, particularly at primary school, but have had a really negative impact on my life and in middle age I'm completely overwhelmed.

I don't want this for my DS. I'm sure I'm not projecting my isssues on to him and that there's really something going on, but as I only tend to read about hyperactivity in boys, I'm interested to hear from anyone who can give another perspective.

My ds15 is like this. I wrote to his Senco last year and they observed him in lessons for a while. They came back saying they think he is on the NT side of the border - but only just.

The teachers have all been asked to keep an eye on him and remind him if he's dropping focus. But nothing else. I am helping him with his homework (making sure it's done) and help him with checklists and timetables etc but that's about it.

Not really sure what else I can do. He's very bright and gets things done quickly when he puts his mind to it... But it's all so frustrating as he is so scatty and disorganised.

Thanks Sunflowers. You're doing well if you're making sure his homework is done.

I'm actually dreading DS getting to secondary school as making sure his homework is completed is already a real challenge. I also worry that without as much one to one interaction with the teacher he'll drop behind.

I could have written this post!! We've just de-registered 11 year old DS and I'm home educating him because secondary school was not working at all. He was in top sets for everything and doing his absolute best but they were trying to punish the inattentiveness out of him and weren't listening to my repeated requests for SEN support. He was a nervous wreck and I'm in a position to be able to educate him myself, so I am.

Anyway, I'm keen to get a diagnosis for him (and me). He sounds exactly like your DS and it did start getting flagged up around the age of 8 or 9 but sadly (I think because he's always been quiet and has met all academic targets) they didn't act to support him as they should have.

I could have written this about my DS. Has exactly the same traits but actually scored much higher for hyperactivity than inAttention.
He was only formally diagnosed this term.

Yep that’s my DS, he’s already diagnosed with ASD and they usually go hand in hand... we are waiting for the last assessment appointment for ADHD diagnosis but the dr as good as said there’s no doubt about it.
You’ve literally described my DS in your post.

My son was diagnosed ADD and ASD at 15. I think there is a real issue when they don’t present as hyperactive, as they are not “naughty” or disruptive at school.

My DS was basically sitting quietly in class, but making very little progress. At secondary he was given extra help to try and be more organised and attended homework club, but because of the inattention it didn’t help. I spoke to the GP and pursued a diagnosis with the support of the school. It was definitely worth it even at that late stage as he got a laptop (his handwriting was always indecipherable due to low muscle tone) and extra time with exams and he was put on medication.

I would definitely pursue a diagnosis sooner rather than later if you have concerns, it would have made a huge difference to my DS to have had the diagnosis before secondary school rather than just going up with concerns about his handwriting. The SENCO at his primary school was not on the ball at all, both my friends daughters were overlooked and one ended up going to a boarding school funded by the LEA due to her complex needs.

Yes, DS (10) diagnosed at start of lockdown last year with inattentive ADHD, Unfortunately in his case he just doesn't do well at school as although he is bright, he can't keep track of things, remember stuff like doing punctuation and spelling right etc. Maths, for example, he can do quite well when he remembers what to do, but he often can't bring the relevant knowledge to mind when he needs to.
He is not defiant or misbehaving, but has meltdowns because he finds things hard. He could sit most of a lesson without doing any work and not think to ask anyone, or alternatively melt down if he didn't get help.

He's on medication now that's definitely helped his attention but he's probably a year or two behind his peers in Y6 because of the time lost to it. Some of it was a bit hidden by him being an August baby, so I guess there was an assumption he might catch up, but he's not really doing so.

I am dreading starting secondary as it's so hard for him to organise himself and I fear I'm going to have to do an awful lot of work to keep him on top of things.

@NNat DS is 24 now and only took medication for a couple of years, we were under the hospital until he was almost 18. He started on Ritalin and then he was moved onto Medikinet and then the longer lasting version of that which is coated for slower release which meant that it lasted into the evening rather than him coming down quickly after school/college.

@SunflowersInTheShade

My ds15 is like this. I wrote to his Senco last year and they observed him in lessons for a while. They came back saying they think he is on the NT side of the border - but only just.

The teachers have all been asked to keep an eye on him and remind him if he's dropping focus. But nothing else. I am helping him with his homework (making sure it's done) and help him with checklists and timetables etc but that's about it.

Not really sure what else I can do. He's very bright and gets things done quickly when he puts his mind to it... But it's all so frustrating as he is so scatty and disorganised.

A Senco can't diagnose. I was fibbed off by my sons school for years. He has ASC and ADHD. Get him properly assessed.

Yup my now 17yo DS is similar. Official DX of ADHD 'predominantly inattentive' - he scores within typical range for hyperactivity/impulsivity, but presents with severe attention deficit issues. Also has an ASD DX.

Medication has helped (non stimulant, atomoxetine) although we have had to be careful to get the dosage right. FWIW, he tried stimulant meds (methylphenidate) and they were disastrous. From talking to others with DC with similar diagnoses it does seem that the stimulant meds are more effective in treating the hyperactivity element of ADHD, and are not particularly helpful for inattentive variety BUT I should stress that this is a purely anecdotal parental observation and absolutely not a qualified medical opinion at all.

Thanks everyone. This is useful. I'm definitely going to keep an eye on things and push the school if I feel I need to.

DS is on eqasym (slow release one) and it seems to last through school day. He says he doesn't feel much different on it, other than feeling less sleepy in the morning apparently.

Yes, my 13yo. Be careful as if you go for diagnosis too early as in before it actually is causing problems, it's likely to be dismissed.

In the meantime I would recommend a few things to explore:

Smart But Scattered - book talking about executive function defecits. ADHD is basically a disorder of executive functioning. This book works without diagnosis and doesn't repeatedly refer to ADHD so is very usable.

Raising Human Beings - book by Dr. Ross Greene who developed the Collaborative Problem Solving model. This is a shift in mindset from "Kids do well if they want to" (ie: Any time my child does not meet behavioural/developmental expectations, it is because they don't feel like it) to "Kids do well if they can" aka: If he's not meeting your expectations it's because something is getting in the way. Then you play detective to figure out what. This book gives a great road map on how to do that. This is the one that is aimed at children who are not behaviourally challenging.

If you want to learn more about ADHD specifically:
Russell Barkley talks on youtube, and his book.
ADHD Essentials podcast.

Thanks Bertie. I'll have a look for those books.

May I ask if there are any therapeutic improvements for ADHD, or whether it's medication purely?
My son seems to fit quite a number of these behaviours, but I am not keen on medicating if there are other options.

RavingAnnie it wasn't the Senco who diagnosed - they had someone in from the NHS. But I will explore and push further.
Bertie thanks for the books - they look good. I am ordering them for my bedtime reading.

It sounds like he has issues with executive function - common with asd, adhd etc.
Get him sat at the front of the class right in front the teacher if you can, makes a huge difference to my dc who has asd and can't filter out distraction and as a result often didn't know what he was supposed to be doing.
I wonder if having an opening sentence would help him get started on written tasks for now? Or alternatively getting him to write a plan or just to write some ideas down to get him going.
I would also recommend a set time every day for homework after which he is allowed to watch a favourite programme or go on the computer. I would organise him yourself as it sounds like he will struggle, tell him what he needs to do and get him to do it at the table in view. The routine of this really helps my son.