Am crying over old rope. Tell me I’m normal.

[TheLightSideOfTheMoon]

My dad has skin cancer. Looks like it was all successfully removed in surgery and he’s having radiotherapy to be sure it’s gone.

He’s really positive about it. I have no reason not to believe him. He doesn’t generally mask his feelings.

I borrowed his jet washer. When I gave it back I must’ve missed the bit of rope that was holding the hose together.

My dad is the only person I know who has rope (probably, I don’t talk about rope much). It’s really old with duct tape stopping the ends from fraying. And it’s dirty.

I’ve kept it. If the worst happens I want this bit of rope. My dad is a mender/maker/DIYer. This rope totally represents him.

But now I’m holding it and I can’t stop crying.

Am I weird?

❤️❤️ funnily enough I was talking about rope last night and saying how my dad is the only person I know who has rope (same orange one he's had since I was a child) my Dad is fit and healthy but it did make me think for a minute how that will always be one of my memories of him in years to come. I hope your Dad makes a full recovery.

Aww that's lovely I think its normal to get sentimental over things even if it doesn't seem obvious, I hope your dad makes a full recovery

Totally normal for you to find something like that to be a comforting reminder of your dad.

However, he isnt gone yet. You dont need a reminder yet. He may not be gone for many many years. Will it have the same sentimental value when the time comes, if its something you took as a "just incase he dies now" thing?

A good prognosis doesn't really make the fear go away. DH has just completed treatment for cancer and we are told that he has an 85% chance of success with no recurrence. But between the 'It's cancer' and the 'It's treatable' you live with the fear of losing someone precious to you and that changes things. Life becomes infinitely more precious. Things and people we take for granted we no longer just assume will always be there. Once you get a good prognosis and it has time to sink in, you realize that life is still wonderful, there's not a 'shadow' on it, but perhaps we appreciate things and people just a little bit more.

You've had a shock and a scare. And this has brought your dad's mortality home to you. It's only natural to feel frightened, even though your dad has told you all will be OK.

But for now, feel what you are feeling. Don't tell yourself it's 'silly'. Acknowledge it and then let it go. In time, you'll feel more positive. Just hold on and give it time.

not at all.
I just wanna hug you

You know he’ll be tutting that you didn’t tie the hose up with the rope before you gave it back?

He sounds very like my dad who can always magic up a useful bit of rope or duck tape when it's needed.

Have a cry then go and tie his hose back up before he notices!

You are not weird at all, you and your dad sound just lovely.

This made my eyes well up. I lost my mum last year and have her cardigan in my wardrobe.

its always the small things that trigger. My Dad was similar and also had every tool under the sun. He gave everything to my sister who currently has no house and frankly seems to be going through some sort of mental health crisis. I would have loved one of his small work knives or a little gadget he had for something or other. On My Mums death my other sister became obsessed with "Mums last log" no not that sort - one for the fire she loved and spent half a lifetime feeding logs and toasting her bum on. its weird things that we attach memories and moments too so you are not odd weird or wrong, just do you

@Saucery

You know he’ll be tutting that you didn’t tie the hose up with the rope before you gave it back?

Yeah, I’ expecting a phone call asking for his bit of rope any minute now…

He can’t have it. I really, REALLY, need it right now.

You’ve had a shock & a reminder that life is precious. If the rope helps then let it work it’s magic - we all deal with things differently.
FYI I have had skin cancer & am fully recovered, I’m sure you dad is doing fine xx

I think B&Q sell rope... Can you pop there and buy him a new piece. "Sorry, Dad. The old bit fell apart, so I bought you a couple of metres of nice new rope."

Also, he'll love having a new piece to "break in" as it will be too stiff to use for a while. You could wrap it and give it to him for Christmas.

Before my dad died (he had prostate cancer) I nicked his tape measure. I bought him a new one, but I wanted I've still got the knackered one with the paint and plaster stuck to it.

Christ. Can just imagine his face if I turn up with new rope when he has perfectly good rope in the shed…

I genuinely had a wave of anxiety at the thought.

Maybe he won't mind if he has other rope.

I think you'd both laugh at him undoing a gift wrapped piece of rope for Christmas.

No. , your not weird, you are human like the rest of us.
l lost my DD three years ago, he made me some wooden shelves in my airing cupboard and everytime l go to hang something on them, l give them a pat and say " Thanks Dad".
My dad was not very vocal when it came to feelings etc so l am so glad l wrote him a letter a few years before he died telling him how grateful l was for having him in my life, thanking him for all the work he did on my house, making it into a lovely home for me and my sons. Make sure your dad knows how much you treasure him.

Totally, 100% understandable.

100% understand. My Dad keeps baler twine in his pockets incase he needs it. A bit of rope is so precious.