If you fancy someone you shouldn't...

[AnnieLande]

Come and chat to me!

I've fallen hard for one of my uni lecturers. I could talk about for hours and make a massive list about why they're so bloody amazing. Makes my face lights up and fuels fantasies of stolen kisses

Ever fallen hard for someone you shouldn't have? Its all consuming and kinda painful, counting down the days until you see them next

Or perhaps I'm a massive saddo

Bumping!

Just me then

Not just you. In my case I am fairly confident it is reciprocated, but we are both married and wouldn’t go there. It’s kind of lovely and kind of excruciating at the same time.

It’s an agony and an ecstasy all at once 😩

Yeah. Totally. I fancy a client of mine. I would never ever act on it. For many reasons. It would be completely unethical, it wouldn't go anywhere and he gets around. And that's not including the fact he's married (although it is an open marriage).

But there's a reason he gets around. There's just something about him.

I’m learning classical guitar and my teacher is hot! We’re both married and he makes a point of mentioning his wife every week. Not sure if that’s to put me off being lecherous by being clear that nothing is going to happen, or because he fancies me and wants to draw a line. Of course it won’t go anywhere (my kids are there watching tv while he gives me my weekly lesson) but I do enjoy looking at him.

Sigh. Saw them again today. Chatted for ages. A few days wait until I see them again. Agony and ecstasy is totally accurate. How do you pass the time while waiting to see them again? I feel like a love struck teen!

If neither of you is married / partnered up what's the issue (assuming the attraction is mutual)?

Both married. Doubt it's mutual. Most likely very one sided on my part.

It’s also quite normal to fancy people who are teaching you something that you value. I fancied one lecturer for years all through my uni time (both married). I produced some incredible work in his class and at the risk of TMI my DH got some fantastic sex when I had class.

Objectively he is not that attractive and I might not have noticed him in bar or similar.

Just channel it.

Honestly, it's all consuming. I keep trying to think of excuses and reasons to talk to them outside of scheduled classes! Without being too obvious and scaring them I just like being with them. Watching them. Hearing them talk. Observing their mannerisms. Seeing them smile.

I’ve been in unrequited love for nearly a year, almost got to the point of being all consuming; I read a tip here on MN that actually really helped, elastic band on wrist and ping it hard when you think of them. I’m still hugely hopelessly in love with them, but it really does help the constant thinking of them