When I have a crappy day I talk to them about it. From about the age of three… stuff like
“I’m so tired from work this week, it made me really grumpy….”
“I feel really grumpy today, I wonder what would cheer me up? You seem grumpy too, what would you like to do?”
And then together we make a plan.
Start tomorrow at breakfast by acknowledging what happened today and your role in it - take responsibility for what you could have done differently and say sorry if you need to. Then set your intention for the new day
“I’m still a bit tired, but I’d love to go to the park and then come home and snuggle on the sofa… what would you like to do?”
“How can we have a day where we are kind today? I can promise to try not get angry today, can you promise to try to say ‘no thank you’ rather than screaming ‘NO’ in my face” etc
Maybe write the rules down.
Make a plan together that tries to allow everyone a bit of what they need - does dad need to watch something on his own? Let him? Do you need a bath and some silence - get that too. Does DC want to make popcorn and watch a film or feed the ducks? Try and find a way to make it happen or put it in the diary to plan for it soon.