DC (10) being bullied at school

[notnumb]

I don’t know where to start this really. It’s been on-going.
On Thursday my DD was distraught on the car journey home from school. (Not too strong a word, sobbing etc) She’s being bullied by a particular child for at least a couple of years. The child in question is a very strong personality. Two other girls have left the school certainly in part because their mothers wanted them removed from her influence.

DD is a slim 10 year old, not that it should matter what her size is. The child in question is now saying things both to DD’s face and behind her back that are making DD question her body. She says she feels disgusting.

School aren’t particularly interested. The child in question is …let’s just say she is in favour at the school.

They are all due to leave at the end of this year. I’m trying to teach her resilience and I know that a tiny bit of bullying can make you stronger. But I’m very concerned about eating disorders and everything else they have to cope with these days.

We’ve already been through stages of school-refusing, but managed to get her back in. I’m inclined to not make her go in because school aren’t being supportive and she is obviously so unhappy.

I haven’t written everything here.

I know that a tiny bit of bullying can make you stronger.

Please don't tell your daughter that. Being bullied is not character building, it is soul destroying. Escalate the complaint.

Tell the head teacher you're not satisfied with how it's been handled and if there are any more incidents you'll be making a safe guarding complaint to Ofsted to say the school's bullying policy is inadequate and the school is failing your daughter. Schools hate the thought of Ofsted poking around so hopefully they'll take it more seriously.

she is a child who has no idea of the impact of her behaviour.
Unless she has additional needs; this is utter nonsense.

loudestcat14 I suppose what I mean is not everyone in life is going to be lovely and learning to handle a certain amount of prickliness might be useful. It's knowing at what point it's got too much and that action is needed.

The Head made a not-so-veiled criticism of my parenting "I know you don't want them to have social media accounts". I said that I don't want her to stand out because she is the only one without but that I do want to hold out for as long as possible. Many of the children have Autumn term birthdays and so are 11 now. I just think once they start with social media accounts that's it. They're more or less teenagers and childhood is out of the window.

Interestingly in lockdown one of the parents suggested the girls keep in touch through the Houseparty app but the Head then got all of the girls into her office and instructed them to delete it (it was on my phone) because they were tormenting each other.

The more I think about the Head's handling of the situation, the less happy I feel.

I'd change schools if you can. No point your DD finishing the year in misery and it's too long to keep her at home.

Head sounds useless... you're fighting a losing battle there.

[quote lollipoprainbow]@coffeeisthebest totally disagree with you, 'give her some respect' ?! Where's the respect for the kids she is bullying. She might only be a a child but her behaviour is unacceptable. I loathe bullies, I was bullied relentlessly myself at school. [/quote]
Because we're adults and we're talking about two children. One of whom needs to be heard and action taken, the other one is for some reason using aggressive manipulative behaviour but still deserves to be treated like a human rather than being demonised. I was bullied relentlessly at school as well.

The Head made a not-so-veiled criticism of my parenting "I know you don't want them to have social media accounts"

Tiktok, Snapchat, Twitter etc all require users to be over 13. Is she really suggesting 10 year olds should be using it?

I would find a copy of the schools bullying policy it should be on their website and write a letter to the chair of governors saying how the school is letting your daughter down explain you are not happy with the way the HT has handled it and you would like it to be taken further.

@notnumb the school sound utter crap! I don't know what I would do OP but it certainly wouldn't be nothing tbh I'd probably have it out with the girls mother and tell her what a nasty piece of work she's raising try open her eyes abit