Does anyone else genuinely not care about their nails? At all?

[TheYearOfSmallThings]

I'm pondering this after reading another thread about nails, which made me realise how much I just don't care about my nails.

It's not that I have more important things to think about - I waste oceans of time on trivia. And it's not that I am above caring about appearance - I would kill for great hair, and an often consumed with envy of someone's slender ankles (I have cankles).

But nails? Why do people care about those?

I have perfectly bog standard nails. I might paint them once in a while. But when I see "done" nails all I ever think is "eh." And yet it is a MASSIVE industry, with shops everywhere, and they are well used. But who is it for? Who loves these big nails?

Is this an age thing? It probably is. I'm in my 40s.

It's hardly a coincidence that it's girls and women raised to believe that something decorative but impractical and limiting should be considered important to build one's self-image and esteem around. It keeps you in your box.

Raising women to value their bodies' intrinsic value, or things like strength and dexterity the way men are socialised, would disrupt the status quo. So women are socialised to view impractical 'beauty' ideals as necessary instead.

Me. In my 50s.

I have quite good, strong nails. I keep them neat, but find on the odd occasions I've painted them that within the first day one at least is chipped and they then look scabby.

I look at people with these gels/acrylics and wonder how the hell they manage to do anything at all. They look utterly impractical and not appealing in the slightest.

I’m a terrible biter, always have been, so I do have my nails done, and shock horror, I do have acrylics otherwise they’d have nothing to work on.

However my acrylics are a normal nail shape, not long, and I bet if people saw them they’d not even know they weren’t my own.

I also have ‘normal’ colours and no glitter, nail art, crystals or anything.

It costs me £25-35 every 3 weeks, but it makes me feel good, and also means I can look and feel presentable when at work. I’ve spoken at two conferences in the last month, and so feeling good is part of what makes me feel better about myself.

Having long nails on myself gives me the heebie jeebies.

Mine grow very fast especially at certain times of the month!

So I have to keep on top of filing them down.

Typing with longer nails feels horrible.

I don't know how people with long nails do anything, I guess they get used to it.

I don't like them as they set my teeth on edge but each to their own.

Dd's hand on the left, mine on the right, we both have the good nail gene!
I generally grow mine longer than that and paint them, she rarely does.

You see that’s where it all goes wrong for me… having to make chit chat with someone for 30-45 mins is my idea of torture.

Mine too - but I go to a nail place run by Koreans. The owner knows me and says hi, then no one else speaks to me. It's heaven.

@ftw163532

It's hardly a coincidence that it's girls and women raised to believe that something decorative but impractical and limiting should be considered important to build one's self-image and esteem around. It keeps you in your box.

Raising women to value their bodies' intrinsic value, or things like strength and dexterity the way men are socialised, would disrupt the status quo. So women are socialised to view impractical 'beauty' ideals as necessary instead.

I’m as feminist as they come. I’ve no time at all for the prescriptive ideals of perfection foisted upon women, nor for the idea that my looks are the only thing about me that matters. I also don’t bow to the tyranny of fashion, nor do I worship at the altar of youth and sexual availability. My daughters have been raised to be strong, independent, capable women with a fiercely intellectual bent and plenty of critical thought regarding female socialisation.

However, in many cases style is substance. That is definitely the case for me. I present myself to the world in a way that matters to me. I don’t have to reject all aesthetically pleasing aspects of myself in order to be a good feminist.

I think there is a massive snobbery about nails that lots of you wouldn’t necessarily admit to. Do you question why anyone has a skincare routine? Or covers their grey hair? Or shaves their armpits? Or wears perfume or make up?

On a societal, structural level, yes, of course I do. Why would I not question the way women are socialised to view themselves as decorative items whose natural bodies are unacceptable? Or the way that limits women's lives and their participation in society - why don't you question that?

It's not about judging the individuals raised within that society, it's about recognising that these are not "free choices" that coincidentally align with patriarchal norms but that they form part of a bigger picture that causes all of us harm.

Yes, the feminist angle is interesting @ftw163532.

We don't usually see men doing things that cost a lot of money, take a lot of time, and aren't practical on a day to day basis.

I think Caitlin Moran's first book describes how she works out whether something is sexist or not by asking whether men do it too. By this measure, I do some things that are feminist, and some things that aren't.

I file and buff mine but that’s it usually. I’m a nurse so nails need to be short and tidy.
I would love fancy nails though!

I love having my nails painted, and have Shellac on them 95% of the time. I really missed it in the pandemic. Several reasons. Like with a good haircut and eyebrow shape, having my nails painted makes me feel pulled together, polished & ready to go.

Especially for work - which is less of an issue, admittedly, as we are still working partly from home.

Mine are short, painted in a bright colour usually. I personally don't like acrylics & long nails, I think they look awful but obviously it's personal preference.

My nails are better when painted too, stronger, less likely to break & need no maintenance between my Shellac appointments.

i never bothered with my nails, as long as they are clean and cut then fine, all these fancy nail bars and long nails to me seem a waste of money and time, other thing how to most people work with them on or even how do you wear plastic gloves ...the kind you throw away after one use..lol

I don't bite them anymore which for me means nice nails. I don't really like nail varnish because it chips so soon afterwards and I am lazy but I occasionally put on a posh non-toxic clear one I bought from a podiatrist.

I have a few deep reds for special occasions but can't say it makes a big difference to how I feel. I don't wear earrings either, if it's relevant.

I don't have fancy finger nails usually because a) I do karate and long nails are a no-no and b) I'm aware that I'm not the kind of person who'd remember to do any upkeep (eg not garden without gloves, not scrape things with them, not accidentally slam them against doors/tables etc). I also never get my hair cut professionally.

I do paint my toenails though, and I'm assiduous about moisturising generally.

And I do admire pretty fingernails. I spend quite a bit of down time watching those videos where they drop polish into water and make patterns on their nails.

I present myself to the world in a way that matters to me. I don’t have to reject all aesthetically pleasing aspects of myself in order to be a good feminist.

Sure. I'm not saying you do have to reject those things. I am saying that it is worth reflecting on why we view certain things as aesthetically pleasing or important to our identity in the first place, because they don't come from nowhere and they might not necessarily be neutral.

In much the same way that someone might be encouraged to reconsider building their identity around their employment - sometimes our wellbeing will demand that we modify what we are building our identity around. It's not set in stone and sometimes we focus on things that aren't good for us.

That's not a judgement simply an observation about natural human behaviour.

We don't usually see men doing things that cost a lot of money, take a lot of time, and aren't practical on a day to day basis.
Hmm, but equally you can argue that men miss out and are harmed by the patriarchal societal norms that create a barrier to the fun aspects of decoration that women are allowed: colourful nails, sparkly makeup, dyed hair, etc.

It’s not feminist to suggest women shouldn’t decorate themselves: it’s whether that decoration is a free choice available to all.

And as an aside, I find Caitlin Moran’s brand of feminism shallow and often offensive and poorly thought through.

I don’t like that measure. Why should I measure myself against men? I’m not aspiring to be male, nor am I aspiring to meet some male standard of excellence.

In some cases, such as maternal guilt or a tendency toward martyrdom within the family or household dynamic, or to critically evaluate one’s behaviour in a work context, sure, it can be very helpful indeed to use that approach. But in terms of deciding whether or not a given thing is sexist? Nah. Not on a personal level anyway.

The only concern with my nails is that I keep them cut as short as possible. For reasons of hygiene. The number of germs under fingernails is gross.

And as an aside, I find Caitlin Moran’s brand of feminism shallow and often offensive and poorly thought through.

Absolutely.

@WayneBruce

My nails are weak and break very low down in the bed, which makes them painful.

Having a regular manicure and polish keeps them stronger and manages to keep them from breaking.

They're the opposite of talons!

But they make me look pulled together and like an adult!

This is me exactly. I love my neat, painted nails.

I don't understand at all !!

The snootiness about nails on this thread is terrible. Wind your necks in.

You are seeing snootiness when none exists. I made clear at the start that I have no pretensions to anything, and many very trivial preoccupations when it comes to style and grooming. It's just that with nails, it seems like a lot of work, a lot of money, a lot of time... and I don't get it.

If you had my cankles you would understand my pain

Tbh examining things like what we find to be aesthetically pleasing and why is Feminism 101 isn’t it...

I’ve done my examining. I still like to have neat, elegant nails.

Lots of younger men are getting their nails done. My dh has gel nails done. (He gets them done in a white - he’s covered in tattoos and loves clothes etc, it’s all part of his “look”). I’m the one who doesn’t care about nails.

I don’t think it’s a feminist thing anymore. Either you get short gel nails done which don’t hinder your life in any way whatsoever or you get them so ridiculously long you can’t do anything and have to pay other people to do stuff for you. (ie a status symbol in itself I guess)!

I just dont know how people live day to day with long nails! How do they do the cleaning?? Wash their hair?? Apply makeup?? Chop an onion??

I once wore false nails for a hen do and by the end of the night I had red scratches up both thighs from getting my knickers up and down going to the loo! I tried to eat a packet of crisps - it was nearly impossible.

The crisps did it for me, the nails had to go