Wwyd Nursery left nappy on for hours

[withpeaceandlove]

DS is 4 and fully toilet trained but wears nappies for bed and nap time. When I got him home from nursery yesterday I noticed he was wearing a nappy, it was absolutely swinging and he'd soiled it. I've now spoken to them and they've confirmed that they forgot to take his nappy off after his nap. I've worked it out and this means he was left in the nappy for a minimum of 4.30 hours. He has 3 big sores and they're very raw and weepy, he's been complaining about the soreness since last night.
Now I'm genuinely unsure as to what to do? Do I just accept it's a one off mistake and leave it? It was his key person who forgot to take it off and she's generally great and we get on well. I'm not a confrontational person and I'm worried this will make things awkward for me in the future if I kick up fuss but at the same time I feel that it's just not acceptable. Wwyd?

He has ADHD and suspected ASD. It's quite a new thing to me so that's why I didn't mention it in the original post.

My son has asd and adhd, honestly it makes all the difference when posting as most will reply based on the average 4 year old who likely doesn’t need naps or nappies.

That’s awful 😭

Do put something in writing saying what’s happened and that DS has very nasty sores because of being neglected and that perhaps they could look at their processes to make sure someone checks after wvery nap time that no child is in a dirty nappy.

DD never ever had nappy rash. Not once. Because she was never left in a wet nappy for more than a minute or two. Nappy rash isn’t as normal as people think it is.

Maybe also put a big layer of nappy cream on at beginning of day?

To the people saying a 4 yr old shouldn’t be napping or in a nappy, that’s not very helpful is it? Learning toilet control during sleep is a hormonal thing that some children reach young and some not until much later. And naps are proven to be beneficial to 4 yr olds.

Be careful whose advice you take OP.

I did call them and his key person said he wanted to keep it on initially so she decided to leave it for a bit (I'd rather she'd just said no, it's time to take it off now but not a huge deal)

This is a massively grey area though. Is she supposed to physically restrain him to remove it? Forcing a child to remove a nappy or underwear that they're in isn't a good lesson to teach them.

@girlmom21 he wouldn't have fought her off if she'd tried though. He always asks to keep his nappy on as he doesn't have to stop playing to go to the toilet but I say no and it comes off with no issue.

As a parent of 2 kids with additional needs I would have went absolutely crazy at the teachers. In my kids case at 4 he wouldn't have been able to communicate effectively or even recognise to tell them he was full or in pain. In my opinion yes it's a mistake but it is absolutely unacceptable

I've had to complain to our nursery about nappies being on too long, luckily it was short-lived and I didn't have to complain to management, just mentioned it to her key worker.
You've already reported it to the room staff. I would accept this as a one off but keep a close eye on things, if it happened again I would want to speak to the manager.
I hope you're ok, it can be a bit unnerving when something like this happens which reminds you that they can get things wrong sometimes.

If she's acknowledged it was a mistake and apologised then I would leave it be for now, but if there is a next time then yes I would absolutely take it further. Are you happy in general with the nursery?

It’s tough isn’t it; when you put the care of your child to someone else you have to have complete trust, so you’re probably feeling that’s a bit compromised.

I think I would say something for your own reassurance but try to make it constructive rather than just a ‘complaint’.

Maybe write an email in reiterating that you appreciate sometimes mistakes happen, but you would feel reassured by knowing staff had been reminded not to let him stay in the nappy after sleeping and that any new or transient staff would be reminded of the same. You could always use that as an opportunity to also say that in a bid to progress his training you’d also really appreciate them taking the nappy off if it doesn’t distress him as soon as the nap is over.

I think that would be a fair call.

I would presume they forgot ad nappy changing isn’t common in the preschool room so it would be easy to slip your mind. If it happened again I’d unhappy but as a one off I’d accept it.

If he can complain about his bum hurting then surely he can speak - did he not ask for the toilet/his nappy off at any point in the afternoon?

This is really bad OP I’d be very upset! Especially as your child is vulnerable and wouldn’t have just asked to take it off.

I’d have a meeting with the nursery manager to make sure it never happened again. Hope your little one is okay now.

I also wouldn’t be showing the key worker pictures of his bottom to ‘keep it fresh in her mind.’ You’ve mentioned it, she apologised and accepted it was an issue. I would just keep an eye going forward.

[quote withpeaceandlove]@MrsSkylerWhite I did call them and his key person said he wanted to keep it on initially so she decided to leave it for a bit (I'd rather she'd just said no, it's time to take it off now but not a huge deal) and then she just got busy and forgot, she apologised. It was my mum who said I should send them pictures and put it in an email incase it happens again but I'm just going to trust them that it won't based off of the advice on here [/quote]
I agree with your mum about the photos and documenting it as if it happens again you have a record of the incident.

Haven't read the whole thread just the first few responses OP but as regards nap, when I've taught reception in recent years it's really not a problem if they sometimes fall asleep so don't stress about all those posts! I'd not worry about nursery if it was a one off either.

I would absolutely bring it up that he was left with sores as a result, they ought to be logging it - one would assume they have a lessons learned /safeguarding process they'd implement as with any injury. I'd also expect and apology.

I wouldn't, however, kick off about it. No need to be anything but civil.

@Plotato thank you for the reassurance.
@Mulhollandmagoo there have been a few other little things which is I think why this has caused me to worry so much. I'm really bad with trusting my own judgment though and I know from my time working in a nursery that overbearing parents can be really annoying to deal with.
I was considering taking him out and putting him in a school nursery but it feels cruel to move him to a new nursery when he'll have to move to school a few months later.

I would follow this up and by that I mean email the office and confirm what happened in writing. It's not necessarily to take more action but more to log what happened.

Reason being the same thing happened to my daughter at nursery when she was 2 and this meant a recurrence of nappy rash as it went into thrush and all sorts. Really pissed me off. By you documenting it if anything recurs you have a paper trail.

I do think it’s different if as you say there have been other issues. A one off can be overlooked but if it’s part of a pattern of poor care then it’s a problem.