8 year old upset, called goody goody & teachers pet in school...

[Londonlassie12]

Hi there, my 8 year old loves school & has always done very well with her teachers... She just confided on me that a girl who was once her friend has started calling her teachers pet & a goody goody... The teacher in dds class has a "worry box" so my daughter wrote a note explaining this, naming who was causing her to be worried... Do I need to do anymore at the moment... It breaks my heart dd is so enthusiastic about school & learning...

I have been going through similar with my 8 year old daughter.

It's shit. Kids can be so cruel.

I would perhaps have a discreet chat with the teacher just so she knows to keep an eye on the situation but hopefully it won't progress into anything more and it's just silliness.

I agree I would just have a quiet word with teacher to keep an eye.
Kids can be awful. Hope your DD is ok
Does she have other friends to play with at break times etc?

Yes thankfully she has plenty of friends in the class.. She's a very outgoing little girl & the oldest in the class so the teachers have always given her a bit of extra responsibility... Due to covid restrictions we can't have face to face with teachers at the moment, I might just write a quick email

The 'friend' is maybe a bit jealous.
I'd say to your DD that being attentive in class and polite to teachers is a good thing, it's what school is for and her friend is being silly to say this.
Definitely try and promote other friendships this childs opinion has less weight for your DD.

Good!
This sort of thing can start when it's the other girl who's wanting to do such little jobs as your DD may have etc.
An email will be fine.

Just composed an email there, I'll send at 9am. Thanks for the advice

I wonder if that “bit of extra responsibility”, is the cause of the problem. Not in any way dd’s fault and definitely not something she should put up with being teased over, but these moments of feeling important are very precious to kids that age and teachers need to work hard to ensure the opportunities are fairly distributed.

I would definitely talk to the teacher, it is completely unacceptable for a child to feel undermined by their peers for doing the right thing. I hope it will also give her pause to consider whether she is indeed treating your daughter differently from others and doing no one any favours in the process.

Thanks for the reply... Dd is being set extra work for maths & has moved to the highest book band & I think that seems to be the root of the issue too..

It's a shame but at least she has plenty of other friends. My dd9 has none it breaks my heart.

If the teachers are singling out your dd for extra responsibility and not sharing tasks fairly then they are part of the problem.
My dd was in school at a similar age with a very clever girl and the teacher called her Matilda. Obviously all the girls wanted to be Matilda.
Fortunately the girl was in the same friendship group as dd but my dd was still a bit jealous. We explained that Anna was very clever but the teacher was wrong to compare her to Matilda. Dd was fine with that.

The other girl shouldn’t call your dd names but she’s young and probably feels resentful of what she perceives as favouritism.
I think an email as you say will hopefully sort out the issue.

Seems like you have a bit of a teacher problem. Differentiated work should not be obvious to the others in the class and most dc her age will be becoming free readers quite soon. So either the teacher has done some sort of inappropriate “Katie is so brilliant speech in front of the class” or perhaps your dd herself has been a bit over keen to share her achievements - not a bad thing to be proud but likely to build resentment alongside the apparent favouritism she is already getting from having extra responsibilities.