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How do you deal with criticism?

4 replies

Cakefordinner · 04/11/2021 11:16

How do you deal reasonably with criticism and mistakes? Someone is unhappy with a piece of work I have done and I’m feeling really upset about it, which is how I feel whenever someone criticises me. The daft thing is that, although I understand why they are unhappy with what they are being told, my work is correct and I stand by the result. Objectively I can see that they are probably having a bad day and are having a bit of a toys out of pram moment. But as soon as anyone criticises me, I feel completely worthless and depressed. I want to cry and hide away from the world forever. I often have intrusive thoughts at these times. I am a 40+ year old woman and this is ridiculous. Even if I had made a mistake, mistakes happen and I don’t work in medicine or air traffic control so it’s not exactly the end of the world.
I have always struggled with criticism. I lost one parent at a young age and the remaining parent was very critical and would regularly tell me that I was stupid and rubbish and that I was so awful they wished they were dead. Obviously, even I can see this is probably related! But how do I get passed it? This has had an impact on my career over the years as I avoid high stakes projects and situations where I might be commented on. Therapy would be great but i can’t afford private and whenever I’ve approached the doctor I’ve not got anywhere.
How do you deal with being criticised?

OP posts:
IveGotASongThatllGetOnYNerves · 04/11/2021 11:19

Professionally? I apologise and try to do it the way they want.

Personal criticisms are harder. I listen but then I need some time to think about it. My instinct is to get defensive and shut down so I know I need to ask for some time to think about it.
Then I can step back and try to look at it from all angles. I can then go back and be objective.

Cakefordinner · 04/11/2021 11:48

Thanks, that’s good advice. I think it’s focusing on trying to be more objective about it!

OP posts:
Bum1 · 04/11/2021 11:51

I just assume that the people criticising me are idiots.

Cakefordinner · 04/11/2021 12:03

Bum1 I wish I could like your post, that’s funny! Probably a healthy attitude!

OP posts:
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