Stopping bottle and cradling to sleep?

[Duckgoesquackquack]

My DS is still having cows milk from a bottle before bedtime, aged 16 months. He was never able to latch so never breastfed (though express bottle fed for first 6 months). Therefore always had a bottle, and I think this means it's harder to stop.

His routine involves a bath, into pyjamas whilst I'm singing or telling him a story, then lying in my arms and having milk. I give him a sip of water and then brush his teeth whilst he's still in my arms and he drops off to sleep, before I put him down in his cot.

I think I have unwittingly caused a problem for myself, both with the bottle and the falling asleep in my arms. But without breastfeeding this was his comfort, and as he sleeps through the night I've never thought about changing things up before now.

Now my health visitor says it needs to stop. DS is an easily upset toddler now. How do I make these changes?

Does he drink from a cup in the day? I'd start with that first.

Give him a cup of milk just before bed so his tummy is full in the usual way then go upstairs and give him a special new fuzzy friend at bedtime instead as he is a big boy now. Snuggle, kiss, sip of water and wait for him to drift off. If you dont make a fuss he might not bother to

Just curious, why does your health visitor say this needs to stop? It doesn’t sound like it’s causing anyone any problems.

Why does it need to stop? It sounds a lovely way for him to fall asleep and for you to have snuggles. And great you’re brushing his teeth.

So he has his milk, brushes his teeth, has a few sips of water and snuggles with his mum. I think you are doing an amazing job.

In my experience health visitors love to tell you a whole load of "shoulds" which are utter bullshit. Sounds like a lovely routine for bedtime - if it's working for you carry on. As soon as it stops working for you or your son, then you can make the change.

You're meant to try and stop bottles as soon after 1 as you can as its not great for their jaws. Or something. But its easier said than done!

He's still a baby I don't see why it needs to stop. Lots of babies still feed to sleep at that age. My 15mo and 2.5yo both fall asleep drinking their bottle every night.

If you dont mind cuddling him to sleep, why stop? I didn't cuddle mine to sleep, but if it works for those that do and they are happy to continue, I'm all for it!

Do you want it to stop? If it's working for you and LO I don't see the problem.

As pp have said the only problem might be the bottle, perhaps use a straw instead?

My 2 year old still likes to lay with us until she's asleep, and I quite like that little quiet cuddle moment so I have no intention of stopping myself!

I would maybe have been a bit wary of tooth decay but you clean his teeth after anyway so that isn't an issue. I would smile and nod at the HV and keep on with this lovely little routine. It's working, not broken, don't fix it, no need.

My almost 3 year old still has oat milk from a bottle before bed (long term feeding issues). I do worry about his teeth, and we're finally making progress away from milk.

Mine is also still cuddled to sleep and co sleeps - cuddling to sleep is fine, especially if yours is is sleeping through, obviously he has no issues self settling during the night! Honestly, some people want to take all the lovely bits out of parenting! If it works for your household then enjoy it :)

Your health visitor should not give advice when it's not asked for, honestly!

Stop when it becomes a problem for you or him. If it's not a problem now then carry on.

A bottle once a day won't cause harm to the jaw. It would only be a problem if it was all the time. You could move to a cup if you like, and it's probably better to if it would be a painless swap, but it being a bottle is really not a huge problem as long as it's not being left in the cot with him.

Cow's milk is not a problem, it's very nutritious, just make sure his teeth are brushed after rather than before.

Ignore the health visitor. They do have some utterly bonkers suggestions sometimes. What you are doing sounds perfect!

Does this mean you are the only one able to settle him to sleep OP?

It'll be the bottle they're suggesting stopping as you're ideally meant to drop bottles around 1 year due to jaw/oral development.

However if this is his only bottle in the day and he takes water/milk from an open cup/free flow cup during the day, logically it'll make no difference. If he's only drinking from a bottle for everything during the day and at bedtime then yes perhaps some changes are needed.

If just that bottle and your bedtime routine works for you tell the health visitor it's none of their business and ignore them. IME health visitors are often clueless and an utter waste of NHS money.