When did 'hey, how are you?' become a normal opening greeting in the UK?

[Lucia23]

I'm wondering if this, or some form of this greeting has always existed or not - and also if it is generational.

I'm a millennial and everyone in my age group tends to greet each other like this when meeting. Every single morning my colleagues ask this question too, one after the other. During times when I have been depressed I've found it particularly difficult to answer with the expected 'fine'. But even during a normal period, I find it annoying.

My grandparents never greeted anyone this way right off the bat. My parents never used to either, but now I notice they use this exact sentence as their first greeting to me in the last few years.

Am I wrong in thinking this is more recent, or has it always been a popular greeting? I find it invasive and irritating - although pretend to be easy going about it and answer with 'fine' !

When did people say that? I've seen it on telly when I was a kid but not heard irl!

@NiceGerbil almost everyone that greets me (acquaintance or friend) greets me in this way!

They say how do you do? Or have I got confused?!

Weird. I live in NZ and several times a day people ask how I am - they really don't care if they get an answer or not. No matter how anyone feels they usually answer "fine", or "not bad" if they do answer - it's really not difficult to do that. It's when people start actually telling you how they are that you get a sudden urge to run. What do you think people should say when they greet each other?

I’ve always said ‘hello how are you’ when I see people, and if someone says it to me I respond ‘fine thanks you?’ I presume they’re not really asking how I am, it’s just a polite thing you say. Like at work when you say ‘nice to meet you/nice to see you’ when you actually don’t think it’s nice to see them.

I have no idea what l say or what others say to me. It's just something that happens automatically and l am really surprised at how serious people take it. I am in danger after this of overthinking it myself and becoming super aware.
In lreland where l am people go 'Well' Nd we answer 'Well' while moving along.

How you doing?

I say hi! . But 'how're you doing' or 'how's it going' if it is someone I know and I am actually interested in how their life is going.
I'm in Scotland if that makes a difference.

Agree with others- it's a banal greeting. A more modern version of how do you do. It's a societal politeness and not intended as an actual question between colleagues or associates. We, as people, know who actually would be asking this with sincerity and who is juts trying to make polite chatter

@TheChip

"Hiya you alright?" Is how it usually goes where I live. I dont mind being the one saying it, but I hate being the one responding. Because its usually just meant as a hello, but the fact it is a question confuses the shit out of me. I usually respond with "hiya yeah not bad thanks. You?" And they don't always answer. Which I don't mind, because I know its just a hello. I feel stupid for asking the "you?" But feel rude if I don't considering they asked me. Can you tell I overthink this. It's far easier to avoid people

I overthink it in exactly the same way, feel anxious just thinking about it 🤦. Sometimes I ask it straight back, sometimes I answer, neither option feels comfortable for me. I probably use fine the most, but if things are particularly bad I'll say something like surviving or still alive.

You are really over thinking this. Greeting people and responding is just an everyday social skill. It is like saying ‘thank you’ or ‘see you soon’. You don’t have to worry if the gratitude is that genuine or if you will actually see them in the near future.

@londontonyc

It may be an American thing? Over here it seems EVERY 'hi' is followed by a 'how are you?' I still haven't figured out if they always expect an answer, it seems rude not to ask back. Certainly no one waits for one - just start scanning groceries or library books or whatever the interaction is. I'm used to it now but it took a while!

Same in Australia. It's the norm to say "Hi, how are you" or " How ya going ?". Nobody expects a detailed description of how you actually are.

I don't see it as much different from the old "How d'you do ?" to which you answered "How d'YOU do ?" , which I always thought was absurd.

When I was a kid in the 70’s / 80’s we used to greet one another with ‘Alright’. How are you has been used as the adult version of that as long as I can remember, especially if you hadn’t seen someone for a while.

I'm starting to find it really irritating that any time someone doesn't like a word or phrase in English it get blamed on the Americans. It is very tiresome. Yes American TV has some influence on our language but so do lots of other things. Our own regional slang can migrate and warp, European people often apply their own grammar, phrasing or idioms to English which might seep in, changes in generational attitudes will impact the way we use language and technology will all play a role. But sure, let's take the lazy route and just blame the bloody Americans for anything we don't like

What should people be saying, by way of greeting, OP?

@LoveGrooveDanceParty

What should people be saying, by way of greeting, OP?

Good question.

Social language like this is annoying, particularly for autistic people. What’s wrong with a simple ‘hello’? That’s an actual greeting you are supposed to use when you meet someone. Why bother asking a question if you don’t want an actual answer???

A reply of 'good' is also very irritating. Good at what?

Oh yes, this!

@LoveGrooveDanceParty

What should people be saying, by way of greeting, OP?

Not the OP, but I quite like 'Morning' or 'hello'

We’re all supposed to be mind-readers - and just KNOW that random person A doesn’t like ‘hey, how are you?’ and random person B only wants you to say ‘hello’…

🔮

@SD1978

Agree with others- it's a banal greeting. A more modern version of how do you do. It's a societal politeness and not intended as an actual question between colleagues or associates. We, as people, know who actually would be asking this with sincerity and who is juts trying to make polite chatter

This. Perfect explanation It's just functional language.

Lots of people confuse "how do you do" with "how are you doing?" I've even seen them described as synonyms in English language teaching books. (And written to the publishers afterwards
How do you do- formal way of saying "nice to meet you" Slipping into archaic these days, the Queen probably still uses it. William and Kate probably don't. (Though, interestingly, she's more likely to use it than him, as studies of her speech patterns show she's much more careful with what she says)
The "correct" response to "how do you do" is to repeat it back.

@Somuddled

I'm starting to find it really irritating that any time someone doesn't like a word or phrase in English it get blamed on the Americans. It is very tiresome. Yes American TV has some influence on our language but so do lots of other things. Our own regional slang can migrate and warp, European people often apply their own grammar, phrasing or idioms to English which might seep in, changes in generational attitudes will impact the way we use language and technology will all play a role. But sure, let's take the lazy route and just blame the bloody Americans for anything we don't like

It's quite a useful tool though. As it's linguistically, historically and empirically wrong almost every time someone blames Americans, it's a nice indicator of how little they know about the evolution of the English language. Let them fill their boots.

I’m another one for saying you’re over thinking it. It’s also not just confined to English - so can’t blame Americans for everything. It’s common when learning languages to learn “how are you?” “I’m fine” - sometimes not learning any other responses straightaway 😂 It’s just a standard social greeting not meant to have depth.
Though I do understand that if you’re feeling shitty feeling the need to respond with ‘fine’ can feel like a lie. It can also be a bit jarring in conversations. I know I’ve responded with ‘fine’ automatically and then next I’m telling the person about something that clearly suggests I’m not fine.

I understand if your struggling that it might seem invasive but I think it’s good to check with people and it’s good that people follow up with are you really fine/sure etc if they think you don’t look it. I think it’s good to talk and people shouldn’t be scared to check in with each other more. I think one of the biggest barriers to people talking more is people think they better not intrude so keep quiet but studies have shown that just by saying yeah fine it actually raises your endorphins etc

If people I know ask how I am I jokingly saying "how long have you got?"