Friend just not there for me anymore, don't know what to do

[Dragonfire282]

Childhood friend of 20 years. We live an hour apart now and we're both busy with family and work etc. She's become quite cold and distant over the last few years. Short replies to texts, doesn't contact me unless I contact her 1st. I've been quite poorly for most of this year and have just started immunotherapy treatment which is going well but has knocked the stuffing out of me. She hasn't checked in at all. It's constantly niggling at me. I'd be there for her if it was the other way around. Should I just let the friendship drift? I feel like I'm flogging a dead horse.

I think the friendship has been drifting for some time from what you say. I hope you feel better soon.

Sometimes we get a bit weary of other people's woes. It totally depends on the dynamics. It doesnt sound as if she's available to tap into for support.

Whatever the reason, she is clearly not someone you can rely on for support. Doesn't mean you can't be friends, but obviously you aren't as close as before. It happens and it isn't always anyone's fault. It's definitely odd she hasn't even asked after you, since you're unwell though. It doesn't take a second to ask how someone is.

gamerchick I do completely understand that, maybe I'm expecting too much although I've not even had a text message to wish me luck or ask how I am. The few people who know about this treatment have all checked in on me except her, even my manager who is pretty socially incompetent has managed a 'hope all goes well email'.

I don't know whether i need to address it directly or I need to just back off.

I think you should walk away. She’s not your friend at the moment. That may be because something is happening in her life she can’t share or she’s just moved on. Lean on the friends you do have and leave here too it.

RubyRedSlippers1 I dont want to lose the friendship but I don't understand this version of it. I've got friends like this, who I wouldn't expect support off but those friendships have always been like that and it works well, no hurt feelings but when I close friendships changes it really messes with your head.