Always the last to know?

[Echobelly]

Does anyone else feel like they're never part of the grapevine and are always the last to know about anything?

I am, and it doesn't bother me especially, but sometimes it's awkward when something happens and it's just assumed you know all about it but don't, especially when it's something very emotive and then it's difficult to ask about what exactly happened without seeming intrusive.

I suppose it's in part a good thing as I don't go in for gossip (I seldom have any idea about stuff at work) but also I have very non-homogenous friend group, so I don't really hear much.

Yes me, but it suits me. I don’t want to take part in gossiping about others as the main conversation so avoid situations where this seems to be done.

What kind of thing are you talking about not knowing?

It depends if it feels like a bug or a feature.

I’ve left groups that seemed that seemed to enjoy enticing me into saying (or doing) the wrong thing because of lack of information. I’m not a mind reader!

I now try to say something like ‘just so I don’t put my foot in it, they’ve broken up (or whatever)?’ and then try to steer the conversation on quickly without gossip. Staying out of drama has made my life a lot better

Definitely, in fact I found out something fairly major about an ex colleague only yesterday that just about everyone else had known about for months.

Plus I nearly put my foot in it as I was going to ask after them just last week, but thankfully didn't get the opportunity as the moment passed and then the thought had gone out of my head.

@Verfremdungseffekt - different stuff, on one end an aquaintance has died and you don't know know what of, or at the other an office romance that's been going on for ages and everyone knows about it except me!

I guess it's kind of a feature rather than a bug for me - I don't really gossip and I don't have close friends at work. It doesn't bother me that much it's just a thing I've noticed that I don't tend to have the full picture, but I guess for the reasons given above.

Yes, I'm not on social media, there's one friend in particular who announces stuff on FB but tells me nothing directly. I've found out about her engagement, pregnancy and death of her brother all through the grape vine.

probably always the last to know but I'm glad.
I don't care for gossip and other such nonsense. I don't watch the news, don't listen to the radio, don't read papers (,occasionally online but not print).
DH & kids tell me stuff and I get school info from emails & WhatsApp. that's plenty.

My default system is that if it's important enough to know it will make it's way to me. let the rubbish take itself out.

It sounds like a good thing that you're not a massive gossip.

At the same time, my siblings always complain that my dad doesn't keep them up to date with anything when they only contact him once a year despite living ten minutes away, and don't respond when he contacts them...

Me. But I am not interested in it anyway and years of actively avoiding means people don’t take much pleasure in telling me stuff

It might be the same for you and you might not be a very good recipient of gossip, you don’t relish the info and you don’t have your own tidbits of stuff about others to share?