Why isn't he asleep?

[SleepingStandingUp]

T1 had a small vomit, got him cleaned up etc at 10.30ish. He is still awake.

He will lie in bed so long as he has milk then he's up and shouting which risks waking T2 / trying to climb into t2s bed.

He'll be awake for hours because he did it last week without the vomit. Just woke up and refused to sleep. In the end he'd slept something like 7.30-10.30 then 4.30-7.30. He didn't even have a huge sleep to catch up.

I feel like such a failure.

Neither of them consistently sleep through although this twin is the worst (needs more help settling, needs less sleep), both eat sparsely and real words are few and far between.

I feel like I've failed them somehow but I don't even know where to fix it.

Meanwhile T2 will be awake til gone 4, then t1 will wake up then DS will be in our room by 6

How old?

Meant to say, sounds tough and you have my sympathies

22 months

Arghhh
How old are they?
I take my hat off to twins and multiple parents (including my Dbro but he had his wife and together they endured many many long nights, when the twins were 6m and no longer breastfed we had them to stay one night every few weekends and Dh and I didn’t sleep much but doable for a night at a time!) it can be brutal enough with one but I don’t know how I would have physically coped with 2 the same age with tricky sleep patterns.
I’m sure whatever the sleep issue it’s probably nothing to do with what you’ve done, please don’t go giving yourself a hard time on top of everything else: sleep deprivation makes you really doubt yourself. I don’t know how old your twins are but could you consider a kind of sleep nanny?

Sorry, we’ve cross posted.
Do you have a partner or someone at home to help share the load with?
At nearly 2, do you have anyone who might have them for a night just to let you catch up on a whole night of sleep? I’d do it if you were my friend/family, don’t know if this could be an option for you.

DH is asleep, he had work tomorrow. He'd sit up with DS if I swapped buy he was up with his last time until 4.30 after cried but then as soon as he was down his brother woke up and DH was already asleep. I figure I'll call him to swap about 4.

No one realistically. My sisters both have kids 4-5 so a loud toddler suddenly around beyond bedtime isn't good and they couldn't stay here. MIL is great but has arthritis and just can't lift the fat beasts so she wouldn't have them in case of an emergency. DM I don't think would manage with the sleep dep. All friends have young kids of their own. No money for a Nanny

Have they always survived on very little sleep and had long awake periods, or is this a relatively new thing? If it’s recent (ish) it could be one of the endless sleep regressions.

Have you spoken to your HV - maybe see if you can book in for 2 year check although it’s a bit early? Also the HV could possibly refer you to Home Start?

DD was a bit like this and we ended up with liquid melatonin which helped somewhat. Then she got better at sleeping as she got older. I can’t imagine with two and an older one

He's always needed less than T2, and he's always been harder to get down. But generally they sleep 8-6or7. Both had this viral cough since late Aug which is interrupting their sleep and he finds it harder to go back down once he's awake. He's like me.

Ah 8-6 or 8-7 is pretty good! Hope they go back to it soon.

Coughs are a real pain. DD2 got endless winter coughs and we ended up getting her tonsils out (as she had sleep apnoea too). Have you tried a humidifier in the room, it can help some kids?

Humidifier = thing for terrible twins to eat / ride / try to take apart. There is nothing in their rooms but a rug, beds and some soft toys. They serve as useful pillows when I sleep on the floor.

It would be those hours with one or two wake ups for a drink but literally just handing them a bottle of water. Oh god I can hear the other pen cryong

Yeah so used to be just a matter of giving them water and leaving. Now t1 especially has to be patted back to sleep, can't move until he's deeply asleep etc. They're put down awake at 7ish but take a while to settle but will babble and play for a bit which is fine.

I'm scared of falling asleep on the sofa and t1 doing something stupid

Ah ok less good with the two wake ups, but still better than what you’re getting now. Do they have cups - the munchkin cups are pretty leakproof and hard to undo if you screw the lids on really tight.

I take it they can climb out of cots?

Good luck tonight x

T1 needing to be patted to sleep sounds a lot like the 18 month sleep regression DD2 had. Were they early?

Patted back to sleep at night that is

I ended up putting a large bed in the nursery and a bed guard on each side. I started sleeping with my twin toddler son there - eventually his twin sister got jealous and wanted to sleep with us. I let her - and then I moved out and they slept together in a double bed until they were 8. It was the only way my son slept through the night.

@minipie

Ah ok less good with the two wake ups, but still better than what you’re getting now. Do they have cups - the munchkin cups are pretty leakproof and hard to undo if you screw the lids on really tight.

I take it they can climb out of cots?

Good luck tonight x

They're currently refusing anything that isn't a baby bottle or ab open cup. Esp for bed they'll only take a bottle.

No cot sides on for months as they could get out and it's a tiny room so if they fell there wasn't even much open space to land

@minipie

T1 needing to be patted to sleep sounds a lot like the 18 month sleep regression DD2 had. Were they early?

Only 4 weeks so they should be 21 months and tbf they're pretty much 23 months in a week so 22 corrected. It's this fucking cough! They were vomiting with it a month ago so really hope today's vomit isn't a return to that.

Just had to wake DH as T2 was crying in bed and T2+1 cannot be trusted downstairs for more than the 30 seconds it takes to climb on the window sill because they don't listen when I tell them no

Had to swap and wake DH up when T2 woke but hopefully he's down and d1 is going strong. Wondering when I can wake DH for a swap

How did the rest of your night go?

He wandered up stairs about 3 30 I think, managed to get him in our bed and think he slept about 4 at which point I got to finally come down and get painkillers for my tooth!! Eldest came in at 7 so I'm on under 3 hours sleep. T2 up at 8, t1 still asleep. Friend walking eldest in as a massive favour so I can let him sleep