How to help 19 year old Ds

[Ikeatears]

Ds1 has just been dumped by his girlfriend of 2 years. She's just started Uni and he's in his 2nd year. Same uni but don't live together and it's only 30 minutes from home. He wants to come home for a few days. He's sobbing on the phone.
I can see where (on his part) it may have gone wrong in terms of taking things for granted but I don't want to point these things out and kick him while he's down.
Wise words on how to support him please...

Just listen. He's probably looking for support, the comfort of home and his family. You don't need to give him advice, just maybe a few subtle pointers. Good luck.

Thanks. Awful when they're bigger than you but sobbing like they did when they were 5 :-(

I'd say support him now and not mention your view, but later on give him your honest thoughts when he's more stable, it may help him in the future

Just be with him. I remember my first breakup, can still feel the pain I had in my chest!!! Awful. I was in uni too, went home for a week. My mum made me food (couldn’t really eat but still) and just listened to me probably repeating the same thing a thousand times.

Don’t point out what he did to contribute He’s fragile and it won’t end well at the minute

Thanks. I won't. I'll need to pre dh though. He's about as subtle as a sledgehammer (ultimately very kind but opens his mouth without thinking)

*prep

I don't think you should give your opinion on why it went wrong. They're very young...even if they hadn't taken things for granted, it's highly likely they'd split at some point anyway. Just let him come home and mope around.for a bit.

I agree with pp, don't give any advice of your own exactly, just let him talk until he starts to see what he might have done that contributed to the break-up but don't let him beat himself up about it. He needs to know he can tell you anything and I think it's wonderful he wants to come home to you rather than just get drunk in misery by himself! I would also be very careful about anything you say about his gf as there is always the chance they will get back together.

Don’t advise him, listen a lot if he wants to talk. Cook him his favourite meals.

Unfortunately having your heart broken is part of life and we’ve all been there, but going through it is absolute hell.

Yes, as a PP said, be very careful about what you say about his girlfriend - that can so easily come back to bite you. Don't judge the situation at all. As he talks about it things will become clear to him - it's better that happens than someone tells him what went wrong.

Thanks all. No, I won't say anything against the girlfriend. She's a nice girl and clearly things have changed for her. As you say, they're very young and this was always a possibility. Just feel sad for my boy but I'll wrap him in home comforts and just be there.