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Original poster

Living with pets - do you find it hard?

116 replies

Notdoingthis · 02/11/2021 11:16

I'm having real trouble adapting to habing cats. I got them becausr my husband and son wanted pets, and my girls were terrified of cats and dogs. I am not an animal lover, but did some research and was convinced cats would be the easiest pet. I just wanted to do the right thing by everyone.
I grew up with a dog, lots of siblings and a small house. I really value space, cleanliness and calm now. I felt in control before the cats. Now I am always on edge.
I can't stand the smell. Of their food and hair. I hate hoovering every day. I don't like out clothes, sofas and beds being covered in cat hair. I hate the litter tray.
We got them (a boy and girl) at 3 months, now they are 7 months. The rest of the family adore them.
They are no trouble really. I just find their prescence annoying and extra work. I get no joy from them. I know I am stuck with them now, but has anyone else felt the same, and did you get used to your pet?
Thanks for any comments, I have tried to include any relevant info.

OP posts:
AllThingsServeTheBeam · 02/11/2021 17:29

@LemonSwan

AllThingsServeTheBeam

Yes really. Its like a parallell universe lol.

A lot of them also have big houses, not all. But I am assuming its the people with a separate utility thats not a laundry that can tolerate having a permanent litter?

Where do you put it?

And besides my cat loves going outdoors. All year round. So it would be pointless to keep one. I assume others are the same. Perhaps its more location based?

I have a 3 bed semi. I have it next to my downstairs loo. Before I moved here I lived in a 2 bed and it went under the unit in the kitchen where there was space for a tumble dryer.

My mum's keeps hers under the stairs. Friends, mostly kitchen. Ndn one in the kitchen and one under the stairs. No one I know has a cat without a litter tray

My cats go out all year round but one prefers not to if it's wet or cold now he's old. When he was younger he did. He's changed

OneSugar1 · 02/11/2021 17:33

Some cat food stinks worse than what comes out the other end. Stink was one of the factors I had in choosing what to feed cat. Whiskas was bloody awful. We use James Wellbeloved for wet food - doesn’t smell at all.

LemonSwan · 02/11/2021 17:35

My cats go out all year round but one prefers not to if it's wet or cold now he's old. When he was younger he did. He's changed

Oh gosh! I have that too look forward too. Well hes my prince so if he did need it I would tolerate it. But for now I am pleased he loves his outdoor poo pit Grin

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Cats
AllThingsServeTheBeam · 02/11/2021 17:40

@LemonSwan

My cats go out all year round but one prefers not to if it's wet or cold now he's old. When he was younger he did. He's changed

Oh gosh! I have that too look forward too. Well hes my prince so if he did need it I would tolerate it. But for now I am pleased he loves his outdoor poo pit Grin

If it's not raining and not too cold he does meow at the window to wee in the slate on the front garden and then meows to come back in about 5 mins later. But he's not actually moved off my bed today.
EarlyPlanner · 02/11/2021 17:42

I agree with the people who say give them time.

I love all animals. But dogs especially I find are like other peoples children to me. Adorable in short bursts but I'm happy to hand them back and glad they're other people's responsibility.

I also felt that way with our newest cat, we got him a year ago and he was 5/6 months old at the time.

I'd recently lost my older cat who was 15 and I loved as much as any family member, and more than most of my family if I'm honest. Other cat was 11 at the time (had them both from being young cats but I was childless when they were adopted so I was a different person then)

Adopting this new young one taught me that I actually much prefer older cats. They're so much more chill, (lazy is the truth) happy to just be around and don't need entertaining. Yeah their food stinks and I have to go over more but I do genuinely love their company.

We've had the little one over a year now and he's still full of beans but mellowed a lot. And is a better housemate.

In future I'm all for adopting cats age 3+ maybe even older. So it could be as yours ages then you'll find them better company.

There is also a big part of what you put in you get back and as I'm such an animal lover I find huge joy in kissing and cuddling them and them purring and loving me. So I can imagine if that's something you don't enjoy or aren't comfortable with having not grown up with cats then you may need to force yourself.

They're much better company than humans.

ZeroFuchsGiven · 02/11/2021 17:42

That is what having a cat includes. My little old cat doesn't like the dark, the rain or the cold. What should I do with him? Genuinely interested in your response

I have had Cats for many years, I have 2 now, 1 I got 5 weeks ago and it certainly wasn't planned, I had her in with a litter box for a week then I got rid and she goes outside, there was no way I was having it in my house any longer.

I honestly think those of you with litter trays are deluding yourselves saying they do not stink, they really do, even when clean its a horrible musty smell.

Mine go out in all weathers, They are Cats! When they come back in their paws are cleaned and they are well fed.

ZeroFuchsGiven · 02/11/2021 17:43

@LemonSwan

MN is mad sometimes.

No one I know in RL who has an outdoor cat keeps a litter tray.

Obviously theres one in the shed or the attic to be bought out for times of emergency (ie. keeping inside for vet visit or night before cattery).

But apart from that - rain, shine or snow they go outside. And none of them have poos and wees all over the house.

Exactly this!
DontKeepTheFaith · 02/11/2021 17:49

We’ve recently got a cat, I was the instigator, DH wasn’t so keen because he has never really lived with pets and has never had any desire for a cat.

DH has fallen in love with her very quickly and now seems very happy she is here. I guess in some ways I was selfish in wanting the cat because I am out at work full time whereas DH works from home so is here all the time.

We both deal with the litter tray and feeding. A cat poo in a litter tray isn’t really a big deal🤷‍♀️

It’s difficult when one wants pets and the other doesn’t though. I think DH knew that getting a cat was very important to me and was willing to give it a go because of that. We have been together many many years and DH and we both know he can be reluctant for anything to change so it was more about worrying about the change rather than a dislike of cats.

If you really can’t accept the cats, you should look at rehoming though….

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 02/11/2021 17:50

@ZeroFuchsGiven

That is what having a cat includes. My little old cat doesn't like the dark, the rain or the cold. What should I do with him? Genuinely interested in your response

I have had Cats for many years, I have 2 now, 1 I got 5 weeks ago and it certainly wasn't planned, I had her in with a litter box for a week then I got rid and she goes outside, there was no way I was having it in my house any longer.

I honestly think those of you with litter trays are deluding yourselves saying they do not stink, they really do, even when clean its a horrible musty smell.

Mine go out in all weathers, They are Cats! When they come back in their paws are cleaned and they are well fed.

They don't when there is not wee or poo in them.

So you'd force my elderly cat out then? Honestly?

I've had 7 cats. All different. This one now likes to mostly stay in over winter so needs a litter tray and as I love him I wouldn't make him go outside when he doesn't want to.

Tumbleweed101 · 02/11/2021 17:51

We've had a variety of pets over the years and I ended up getting fed up with our caged ones such as rabbits and guinea pigs (obviously cared for them). When the last lot passed away I refused to let the children have more and I feel much happier for it - we had had a variety over the 20yrs from when my eldest first wanted pets.

We now have an old outdoor cat (10yo) and an old dog (12yo) and a 2yo dog that I wanted (not the children's). They are work but I wouldn't be without them but none of them will be replaced. I got the puppy with the intention he will be my last pet. I will be around 60yr if he lives a full lifespan and after that I will see. The work and chaos involved is huge at times.

fantasmasgoria1 · 02/11/2021 17:51

I love my cat so very much but then I am a cat person. I would feel the same as you if we had a dog.

ZeroFuchsGiven · 02/11/2021 17:56

So you'd force my elderly cat out then? Honestly?

More than likely yes I would, I'm not talking kicking them out in freezing temps for hours on end but to go to the toilet and back in Yes.

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 02/11/2021 17:56

@ZeroFuchsGiven

So you'd force my elderly cat out then? Honestly?

More than likely yes I would, I'm not talking kicking them out in freezing temps for hours on end but to go to the toilet and back in Yes.

Wow. Lets hope your poor cats don't get arthritic and prefer to stay in then
ZeroFuchsGiven · 02/11/2021 18:05

Wow. Lets hope your poor cats don't get arthritic and prefer to stay in then

There really is nothing 'poor' about my cats, they are currently lying in front of a log burner, no doubt my big boy will go out later and probably not return till morning, even though its cold, he has fur, he won't freeze.

bobsholi · 02/11/2021 18:09

I can't imagine getting any joy from an animal. The mess, noise, smell and hair, plus the constant 'being there' sounds horrendous. If your family love them so much they need to do more of the care and housekeeping.

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 02/11/2021 18:09

@ZeroFuchsGiven

Wow. Lets hope your poor cats don't get arthritic and prefer to stay in then

There really is nothing 'poor' about my cats, they are currently lying in front of a log burner, no doubt my big boy will go out later and probably not return till morning, even though its cold, he has fur, he won't freeze.

But if they get elderly and you force them out when they don't want to they will be. Mine used to roam for days..things change
DobbyTheHouseElk · 02/11/2021 18:11

@Justcannotbearsed

"Litter trays don't smell if you empty them everyday. What happens when your cat doesn't want to go out because it is raining?"

he gets gently nudged out of the door with a gentle toe...

He goes out eventually, dashes back in as soon as his mission is completed.
bellinisurge · 02/11/2021 18:13

Google Jackson Galaxy- US cat behaviourist

ZeroFuchsGiven · 02/11/2021 18:29

But if they get elderly and you force them out when they don't want to they will be. Mine used to roam for days..things change

The only thing that is changed is You have provided a shit box in your home, If it wasn't there Your cat would want to go out, do his business then come back in.

1forAll74 · 02/11/2021 18:29

I have three cats and love them all,they all keep themselves super clean, and their fur does not smell at all , just warm and fluffy. Cat hairs to be expected, but I brush them a lot, to lessen the hoovering jobs. I don't mind the smell of cat food, its usually smells quite nice.

felulageller · 02/11/2021 18:34

You shouldnt be doing the work of them.

I've made it clear to my family- if you want pets they are your responsibility!

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 02/11/2021 18:36

@ZeroFuchsGiven

But if they get elderly and you force them out when they don't want to they will be. Mine used to roam for days..things change

The only thing that is changed is You have provided a shit box in your home, If it wasn't there Your cat would want to go out, do his business then come back in.

Nah. He'd piss on the rug by the front door.
Original poster
Notdoingthis · 02/11/2021 18:42

Thanks again for the comments. In reply to some

  • the litter tray is outdoors so it is not that that smells. I can smell cat. Not food or litter, just cat.
  • they eat and sleep in the utility room where the catflap is, so not in the kitchen, but the utility stinks of catfood! I do wash the dishes as soon as they are empty
  • I have given up with the litter tray. I can't bear it any more. Dh does it all, but we do hope to get rid of it soon
  • the dc are a bit little to help yet
OP posts:
PinkSparklyPussyCat · 02/11/2021 18:49

I honestly think those of you with litter trays are deluding yourselves saying they do not stink, they really do, even when clean its a horrible musty smell.

I've no idea what litter you've used but decent ones don't smell musty. And before you say it, I'm not nose blind as I've never smelt it when I've come home after a couple of weeks away. The litter tray is in the bathroom and, on the rare occasions he uses it, it's emptied as soon as we see it.

Shmithecat2 · 02/11/2021 18:59

Those who don't have litter boxes, do you not keep your cats in at night?