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How do you know if your child has additional needs?

8 replies

Foldinthecheese · 01/11/2021 21:37

My son is nearly six and would likely be described as a bit of a character. He has a very unusual manner and I guess the easiest way to describe him is that he is a bit like an old man in the way he speaks and his mannerisms. He is a real stickler for rules and gets frustrated if he perceives others not doing things correctly. He often talks to himself, complete with big hand gestures.

He can and will talk to anyone about anything, including adults, but sometimes other children don’t quite know how to relate to him. As a result, he struggles with close friendships. Sometimes he becomes very fixated on one thing and will talk to me about it incessantly for hours. He is extremely creative and loves building, writing books, drawing pictures and making up games. He’s also very strong and athletic, but isn’t crazy about team sports.

As he’s learning to read, I’ve noticed that he struggles to remember some things, even if we’ve just talked about them. So, we can work out a word together and he won’t remember it the next time we encounter it. He’s having some additional support with reading, and I can’t figure out if there’s a processing issue affecting his ability to remember everything he’s learning, or if it’s due to some unusual circumstances we’ve had that have caused inconsistency in his education.

I guess I’m just trying to figure out if he’s just slightly eccentric or if there are some additional needs. I worry that he’s socially awkward and that it’s going to become a bigger issue as he gets older. He has a twin brother who seems to relate to other children much more easily. I’m just not sure at what point we’ll know whether he’s got an unusual personality, or if there could be something else to consider.

OP posts:
Mojoj · 01/11/2021 21:39

Sounds like he might be somewhere on the autistic spectrum? Maybe worth getting him assessed?

JustKickin · 01/11/2021 21:45

You don't need to figure it out for yourself. All you need is enough of a suspicion to warrant asking for an assessment, from someone who has more expertise. You don't go seeking a diagnosis, you go seeking assessment.

From our experience I wouldn't rely on teachers flagging up any concerns. It's quite a big deal to tell someone that you think there's something "wrong" with their child. If you are concerned, that is enough. A good school will put measures in place to support him, diagnosis or not, but in practice it is easier with a proper assessment to identify where he struggles and suggest specific strategies.

Singinginshower · 01/11/2021 21:49

There will be a Senco at your child's school. You could ask to see them for a chat about your concerns.

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Foldinthecheese · 01/11/2021 22:15

I guess I have wondered if he might be on the spectrum. He has great eye contact and is very personable, but I know that ASD can present in all sorts of ways.

OP posts:
persephone19 · 01/11/2021 22:34

He sounds like my lovely middlest who has ASD. Well worth seeking a diagnosis as if he needs help later on it's easier to access

Foldinthecheese · 01/11/2021 22:58

@persephone19

He sounds like my lovely middlest who has ASD. Well worth seeking a diagnosis as if he needs help later on it's easier to access
Has yours required any additional help? If so, what has that help looked like?
OP posts:
TurnUpTurnip · 01/11/2021 23:03

It was school that first suggested it to me

NoPinkPlease · 02/11/2021 08:25

Trust your instincts on this - if you're wondering just ask the SENCO for support. If they're not helpful seek GP support. You could be doing your ds a huge favour spotting this early. My autistic ds makes good eye contact and is friendly so you're right about the presenting in different ways. I know this can feel a bit scary but early awareness and support is so so important.

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