Did you grow up in london?

[LondonQQ]

I live in central london with DS who is 6. I grew up somewhere poor, but quite rural, a lot of school fights, everyone knew everyone’s business. I couldn’t wait to move to london and I’ve been here for more than 20 years.

But things have been happening lately that have made me wonder if this is the childhood that I want for DS.

One of the things was that we were shouted and ranted at by a homeless person who clearly was suffering from troubling mental health problems.he was really getting in DS’ face and it upset him a lot. Ds had nightmares about it etc.

Did you grow up in London? Did the tension that is often out there get to you as a kid? I don’t know how to weigh these instances up against the amazingness of this city and it’s multiculturalism and culture and opportunities for young people etc.

I grew up in London and was completely oblivious to any tensions. It may be that I was very sheltered or maybe things were different back then (70s-80s). But I moved abroad as an adult for 5 years and when I came back I noticed that it felt more menacing than I’d remembered.

We also tend to have needles or condoms outside our front door every now and again. There’s a regular drug deal on our street etc. All these things feel a bit like innocence stealing!? Or maybe because DS has no idea what it all is, it doesn’t really matter...?

We don’t live in an especially rough area of central London either, we live somewhere people think of as lovely.

But DS gets to go to an amazing state school and does great after school activities... ahh!

I grew up in London and was completely oblivious to any tensions. It may be that I was very sheltered or maybe things were different back then (70s-80s). But I moved abroad as an adult for 5 years and when I came back I noticed that it felt more menacing than I’d remembered.

Do you live in London now? I’m wondering if DS will just be oblivious!

London is a big place- I grew up in zone 3- 20mins from the Kent countryside, 20mins to central London. I feel very lucky to have been in London, yet still the suburbs. Doesn’t have to be all or nothing

I grew up in London (and still live here now). I was a massive geek and my mum took me to the science museum and natural history museum most weekends- I absolutely loved it. I also went to school with kids from all over the world, including refugees and asylum seekers, and learnt tolerance and compassion for others. As a child, no matter where you grow up you just get on with it and don't know any different.

I grew up in London and I’m now still here with my kids, like someone else said London is a big place I’m zone 4 so quite on the outskirts it’s gang I worry about most

@LondonQQ I do still live in London, though further out than the area I grew up in. For the first two years of DD’s life we lived very centrally, and I’d have happily stayed there as she grew up if we’d been able to afford more space.

I spent different periods of my childhood in London and the countryside. Outside of the city isn’t necessarily any better, lots of towns experience drug issues, homelessness, anti social behaviour- also a lot of small mindedness. One thing I do remember as a countryside dwelling teenager is that my city peers were much more confident in navigating their surroundings and I always envied that! For me the only down side of raising a child in London is the air pollution and crazy cost of living.

I am bringing my DD up in central London and grew up rurally OP. I do have pangs sometimes as I love nature and love to see her in nature. But I also really love urban London, the diversity, culture, buzz. She's a real people person and she loves the sense of vibrant community. So I'm sticking with it for now...

I grew up in London and live here now. However, I have not lived in central London since I was in my 20s and probably would not do so right now. I am over 50 so in fact central London was pretty grotty when I was a teenager and child too. It was only really in the late 90s and 2000s that it was a bit nicer.

I grew up in central London when different areas were almost like villages. People in your road knew who you were and schools were local. We walked alone to school and the park from about the age of 7.
Fast forward to brining up my own DCs, certainly did dent let them out of my sight, but the worst experience ( not that bad) was the gathering of local winos outside the local Budgens.
We moved out to a different city, near countryside when the eldest was 7. Never looked back.

Bringing didn’t

I grew up in central London. I remember having to step over passed out homeless people to get to school which I hated. Having to ask a junkie to stop shooting up so I could ring on my friend’s front door (block of flats) which I found utterly terrifying (he was actually very nice about it). Feeling really scared walking home from the tube at night even with my parents.
I way preferred going out to the countryside, which we did very regularly to see my parents’ friends… I was so envious of their kids growing up rurally.

There were good points (we saw a lot of plays, visited the museums very regularly, and I went to a wonderful primary school) and I mostly enjoyed it as a teen - though I had so many friends who were mugged, and I always felt a bit nervous about that - but there’s no way I’d bring my kids up there.

I grew up in zone 2.

So not central but close enough.

Compared to my DH who grew up in such a small rural town that everyone knows everyone my childhood was much more sheltered.

Drugs, teen pregnancy, teen suicide, rape and police brutality at illegal raves were all part of his friends and siblings childhoods.

None of those things happened to myself or anyone at my school!

Maybe it's that we had loads of places to go and things to do, easily accessible by tube/train/bus?

Not sure but opened my eyes to the fact rural doesn't equal wholesome.

He still calls my hometown "the ghetto" though and would never live there! Can't get his head around that you can't tell where one town ends the the other begins.

We've compromised and settled in zone 6. So easy to get into town, not rural, but countryside is close.

OP your London experience sounds very different to mine.

I grew up very rurally but have chosen to bring my children up in (admittedly a very nice part of) London. We love it - the culture, the diversity, the opportunities, and knowing people in every street in our area. Plus our children have benefited from fantastic state schools.

I love the countryside but am so glad for my DC to be bringing them up here. Their friends are from every conceivable background, they are so open-minded, and we make the most of all the galleries, museums, and random culture stuff around us.

And we have family in the countryside so spend part of every holiday there.

But we do live in a really nice area. I know full well (thanks to my work) that we are very lucky, and there are plenty of areas I really wouldn't want to raise a family.

Grew up in London, Zone 2, bit of a rough area in those days.

I’ve seen a lot, put it that way! I had to navigate street alcoholics, drug dealers, prostitution and petty thieves as a kid….but I also had amazing, diverse neighbours and teachers and friends, and so many opportunities I’d never have had anywhere else.

It’s made me streetwise, resilient, able to deal with all sorts of people and very independent.

I’m bringing my kids up in a Zone 4 london suburb. They’re a bit more sheltered than I was at that age, but that’s more about changing times and norms.

London has scary aspects, but I think it’s a pretty amazing place to raise children and once they’re teenagers (which mine are now), despite the perceived dangers, it’s such a brilliant city for them to build their independence in.

I grew up in Holloway/ Highbury in the 90s and now live in east London with DH and soon to be DC.
I don't remember any tensions - I loved growing up here and can't wait to raise my kids here.
When I got to uni I met people who grew up in the countryside/small towns and they definitely "grew up" faster than me and my friends did in London. Plus as a parent you won't have to worry about pick ups for your teenagers when they start going out. Win win.

Firesidefox do you mind me asking where approx you are? Sounds lovely!

I grew up in London and wouldn’t want anything else for my DC.

Reasons;

Memories of going up to the trocadero to play in the arcade.
Shopping on Oxford street with my saved up part time chip shop wages.
Underage clubbing and night bus home.
Some nights we used to just drive up to the Thames and go for a walk along the south bank with my Dad and see all the lights.

Covent Garden as a kid was really special, we loved going there for treats!
I know the way anywhere, what tube it’s on and what zone it’s in.
I am kind of unafraid of anything really. I know I could go to any city anywhere and feel at ease.
Museums, plays, exhibitions. I remember seeing loads on school trips.
The work experience opportunities were amazing.

Downsides.

I feel a bit jaded because I have nowhere to run away to. Everyone comes to London but I’m already here. I also don’t see the shiny shiny London that others see. If my friends come to visit I cannot see it how they see it and take it all a bit for granted.

I grew up in East London in the 70s and 80s. We lived on a council estate
that had quite a bad reputation. I remember
stepping over passed out
glue sniffers to get in
into our flat. Homeless
people regularly slept in
the communal areas. We
had a chute room by the
lifts where we'd send
rubbish down to the big
bins on the ground floor.
There were regular fires
there and in the lifts.
None of that ever really bothered me though. It was just the way it was, and home felt safe to me. I wanted to stay in the area when I was looking to buy, but by then the area had become well and truly hipster which meant I couldn't afford to buy there!

I grew up on a council estate in zone 1, and I've lived in zone 1 for most of my adult life (part of that was on another council estate, but I've bought my own flat now). Raising my children here and have no plans to leave London (but considering moving out to zone 2/3).

I don't remember being as bad as some memories here - no needles, condoms or being harrassed by the homeless (we've always seen lots of them around but you pass them on the street, they mutter to themselves and you don't have to step over them). There was a bit of antisocial behaviour and probably drugs going on but I just didn't hang around in those circles.

In more recent times, the worst we have to deal with is those nitrous oxide canisters, cigarette stubs and people urinating - not very nice, but less worrying than needles/condoms and tbh it all gets cleaned up daily as we have council street sweepers (usually I only see the litter in the morning going out to nursery, but it's gone by the time I return). Lots of drunken arguments outside bars (we live in an area with lots of nightlife) but I don't find them threatening, sometimes they're a bit entertaining (watching safely from our third floor window).

I'm from an ethnic minority so the multiculturalism here is really important to me, I would only ever consider moving to another international city, or one of the bigger UK cities. Rural living doesn't appeal to me at all, though it's fine for a weekend visit or holiday. I love the various events and attractions here, and I love that we can get around everywhere on the tubes/buses (we hate driving and don't own a car). Not keen on our local state schools, but luckily we can afford private so we're opting for that.

Tough one, I grew up in what was then quite a rough part of London & would regularly see pimps & drugs. In some ways I felt my childhood was quite innocent though & we had a great community & all the kids would play together. When I went to uni I was the sensible one as I didn't take drugs or get drunk, I was clubbing at 16 so had to be sensible!

However I do worry about my dc, particularly my son. There's more division now & economic inequality which I don't think is a good thing. If you are wealthy you can protect yourself somewhat & live in a bubble but that's not particularly appealing.

Many parts of London were a bit rough & declined in the early 90s where people chose to instead live in the HC & commute in. I wonder if increased remote working will see that cycle again.

@SisterAgatha so many of those things have changed though. I don't think teens go clubbing anymore let alone underage for one!

Surely growing up in z3 outwards can't be that different to growing up in other cities, big towns outside of London. I don't think most kids travel into z1 at the weekends to do stuff but stick to activities & friends in their area?

I grew up in z2/3 & spent the vast majority of my time there. As I got older I went central much more but that was age 17 plus