Play date dinner/tea offer for reception kid

[OnceuponaRainbow18]

My child is in reception and first play date today at our house, mum coming to! I suddenly thought am I meant to offer the play date kid their tea/dinner/meal of the eve? And their mum?!!!

We’ve never really had an after school play date so unsure of what is the done thing and also if so what’s best to offer?

They won't be expecting a meal. I would offer cut up carrot sticks/apples and a cake or biscuit with tea/ fruit juice/milk. Hope you have a lovely time.

Depends if you expect them to be there over dinner time. I'd have something ready to offer at least, even if they say no thanks. Nothing worse than being at someone's house and feeling hungry but too polite to ask.

What's the timing like? If they're off home before 5.30 or so I wouldn't offer dinner but would offer snacks. Otherwise message mum to ask / suggest timings, there aren't really rules on this.

I wouldn't expect dinner at all but some snacks for the kids and a cup of tea (and some cake or a biscuit if you're feeling flush) would be appreciated

Thanks all! I’ll defo have some snacks… will have to pop out at my lunchtime and source some!!! School finishes at 3 so no idea or long they will stay?!!!

I tend to offer dinner as well so I'd have something ready in case they accept the offer.

I'd just offer snacks. Have mealtimes as time to leave time.
Unless you specifically say 'come for tea/dinner'

I always make dinner for child (never adult,)
Just a little tea for the kids around 4.30 fishfingers/chips, or pasta something quick. Coffee/tea and biscuits for parents.

Tell you what, my almost 8 year old had her
classmate round to play last week, a whole day as 8 year old girls are easy and it’s half term so no bother to me.

I speak to her mum at pick up most days , we’ve been to the park together, my dd has been dropped off there for a birthday party recently so I’m not a total stranger ….. the mum stayed for the whole 8 hours the kid was here.

I was not expecting that. It was quite awkward to keep a conversation going.

Provided the mum with lunch as well; she didn’t like what was on offer and asked for an alternative

I always do dinner for the children but not the mum. Tbh we never really did the parent stay type playdates once they started school we just collected from school and parents collected them from us at 6. My son is autistic so we do it slightly differently and i collect him from school, take him home and get him changed then drop him to his friends house and collect a couple of hours later.

If your child is in reception the playdate probably won't last till dinner, playdates then to be one or two hours long round here.

It is probably all new to the other Mum too.

I think at reception age that less is more.
So maybe say 'This is new to DS, not sure how long he will last. I was thinking not tea this time as it will be too much. If it is still going OK after an hour maybe go for a further 30mins? '

Tell her you need to finish up at x time for whatever reason (feeding child -then it's clear your are not cooking tea.

Looking forward to having Johnny later. It will be until 5, when I have done other things to do. You are welcome to come a bit before that if you fancy a cup of tea.
FYI, I will do them a few snacks about 4 to tide the over until their tea times.

We always had play dates stay for tea. I’d have something easy to cook available so you can offer the child. I’d never feed the parent dinner though!

Be really clear. It will help everyone out.

At primary school play dates I always used to make dinner for the child, something simple and unchallenging - pizza, sausages, cheesy pasta, fishfingers (check with parent for allergies and dislikes). They'd be picked up at 6pm.
Not a surprise for the mum to come first time with a reception age child, but she won't expect to be fed, just get some nice biscuits in.

Normally playdates include tea here but I never had the mum as well.

I do things most children like, sausage and chips, chicken, fish fingers. I have something small when they come in to take any hunger pants out of the way and do food around 5.15pm if they are picked up at 6pm, so playdate was 2 hours plus food for us.

Maybe just casually text the mum about any allergies and see what she says. If you have cake of biscuits for her there is no need for food as well.

So we had snacks and no tea/dinner as the child had multiple allergies and plant based foods only!

Thanks all for commenting

Do you know the Parents before the kids started reception ?

I only ask as my DS wants one of his friends round to ours, but I don't know the parents that well at all, just a hello at the gates.

How do you navigate that ?
Do you just say does Jonny want to come to ours for an hour after school ?

@Thinkbiglittleone

No I didn’t know them, I just said my kid was keen for X to come to ours to play, what days are they free and would mum like to stay for a cupa… as was nervous to be left with a kid I don’t know 😂

Good god is this a thing now? Has it changed from ' Does Kieran want to come for tea on Thursday? Fab. I'll pick him up from school and drop him back at yours at 6-30. Where do you live?'

@OnceuponaRainbow18 I'm a little shy with things like this so thanks, I wasn't quite sure if it was the done thing in reception yet, but seems it is,so might give it a whirl and see what happens

as was nervous to be left with a kid I don’t know 😂

Haha I think I'm more nervous of having to entertain the parent I don't know rather than the kid

@MrsPsmalls

I do this with my friends kids who’ve I’ve known for ages but not with ones in reception who I’ve never spoken to as don’t make many drop offs!