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Original poster

New baby.... no bedroom dilemma

44 replies

Enchantmented · 31/10/2021 07:53

What would you do?

1 couple (own room obviously)
9 year old DSD with own room
14 year old DSS who has own room but doesn't live here, only stays every other weekend, dad has custody of DSD so she lives here full time.

We have a baby on the way and no other bedrooms.

I know at first baby will be with us, but after that then what?

We either put in with the 9 year old who has a bigger room, but then that will cause major sleep disturbance.

Or we use 14 year olds room but then when he stays he wont really have anywhere? And may feel pushed out.

OP posts:

ThirdElephant · 31/10/2021 08:21

@Dollywilde

DSD into the small room so she has her own room full time.

Bigger room split with a bookcase down the middle, half for DSS and half for baby. They don’t sleep in there at the same time, when DSS stays baby comes in with you, but they both have their own space for their own stuff/decoration etc.

Yes, this is the best idea so far.

ForkHandlesplease · 31/10/2021 08:22

Could you go into attic for a small bedroom?

Dollywilde · 31/10/2021 08:25

@Enchantmented

Oh sorry didnt read it properly! *@Dollywilde*

Haha no worries, yeah I definitely wouldn’t be sticking a 14 year old in a room with anyone else!!

Added bonus with this I guess is that DSS won’t be staying so much from 18 onwards so 4 years or so, so you could always promise DSD she can have the big room back to herself when she’s 14 and starts GCSEs or whatever (guessing she may not be delighted to give up the big space ) Baby will be 4 at that point and right sort of age to go into the small room by themselves if you’re still in the same house.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

14 year olds 9 year olds

Yummymummy2020 · 31/10/2021 08:26

Janey I’m going to go against the grain here, at 15 I wouldn’t have minded and certainly not if I was only staying two nights a week! I think moving home over this would be a bit bonkers! I’m honestly not heartless I’m speaking from putting myself in their shoes, they can still be made feel very welcome as they should be! But sure in a year two years ect they likely might not even want over nights… I would keep the baby in With you when they stay so they get a good sleep but I don’t see the harm in the baby using that room the rest of the time!

Summerfun54321 · 31/10/2021 08:29

Our first DC shared a bedroom with us until she was 3. In other cultures DC share bedrooms with parents for longer. Don’t rush to make a decision.

Calmdown14 · 31/10/2021 08:32

I would park it as a problem for now. Buy a nice small crib that fits in your room and will do for at least a year. Until that time a baby's own room is more for storing nappies and stuff.
You may need to steal a bit of wardrobe space somewhere.
At the moment, this is a theoretical baby stealing their place in the family at a time hormones are in full swing.
Moving your step son now will seem like pushing out. In a year and a half he'll have grown up, probably won't want his lie ins disturbed, be more concerned by nights out with pals, and most importantly will have had time to bond with his sibling.
Then the conversation is more ' as you aren't here so much would you mind if little xx has your room and we'll get a sofabed in living room when you want to crash'.
It will be a proper person they can see needs a bed and is part of the family. Just now the bump is only real to you in this way

DampSquidGames · 31/10/2021 08:34

Your room until baby is 6 months
Then baby in DSS’s room and back in with you when DSS stays.

Tumbleweed101 · 31/10/2021 08:35

You could try discussing it with the children and see what ideas they come up with too. Personally I'd probably put the cot in the room your stepson uses once the baby needs their own space for sleeping except for the nights he stays. You may find it becomes less of an issue as your step son grows up and perhaps doesn't stay over so much because he can visit independently whenever he wants (depending how far away he lives). That happened with mine when they started driving - they don't stay at their dads much now but pop over when they want.

toomuchlaundry · 31/10/2021 08:36

I assume it might be quite hard for DSS that he is the only one of his dad’s children that doesn’t see much of his dad. Making him share with a baby or relegating him to the sofa isn’t going to help.

Won’t the question of who shares with whom also depend on the sex of the baby as the DC get older

letsmakethishappen · 31/10/2021 08:41

“Your room until baby is 6 months
Then baby in DSS’s room and back in with you when DSS stays.”

With all baby’s furniture including a coat where will the teenager sleep?

SpiderinaWingMirror · 31/10/2021 08:52

Baby in cot til 3 (my youngest who was 90th centile was in her cot til she was 3). Move cot out and into your room when dss stays.
It means baby won't have a cute nursery. But it solves everything else.
Hopefully in 3/4 years, you will be able to move.

WashableVelvet · 31/10/2021 09:02

Agree this won’t be an actual issue for another year or so. But like you I’m a planner and like to think about allll my options. So just throwing an extra one out, you could keep all baby’s stuff in your room and s/he sleeps in a travel cot which goes in either your room or DSS’s depending whether DSS is around. So no nursery but also no alterations to DSS’s space til he’s older and moved out anyway.

NameChange30 · 31/10/2021 09:06

@Dollywilde

DSD into the small room so she has her own room full time.

This

BrieAndChilli · 31/10/2021 09:09

This sort of thing should have been discussed before you tried to conceive! You could then have planned a move to a more suitable property. The age gaps will be too big to facilitate sharing for too long.

AwkwardPaws27 · 31/10/2021 09:11

How big is each bedroom? Surely one is big enough to divide with a stud wall, even if the two resulting bedrooms are v small?

ThirdElephant · 31/10/2021 09:30

@AwkwardPaws27

How big is each bedroom? Surely one is big enough to divide with a stud wall, even if the two resulting bedrooms are v small?

This could also work.

Clymene · 31/10/2021 09:48

Why isn't the man who already has 2 children and is now having a 3rd in a 3 bedroom house putting his energy and time into figuring this out?

tiggerwhocamefortea · 31/10/2021 09:48

@DampSquidGames

Your room until baby is 6 months Then baby in DSS’s room and back in with you when DSS stays.

Probably go for this idea to be honest - DSS overnights will most likely tail off as he gets older anyway

But I do agree with the albeit rather blunt other post that probably should have thought of this one when family planning 😬

girlmom21 · 31/10/2021 10:37

@Clymene

Why isn't the man who already has 2 children and is now having a 3rd in a 3 bedroom house putting his energy and time into figuring this out?

Presumably they've already had conversations as a married couple and are just looking for suggestions they may not have considered.

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