I have 4 sons and I'm not with their dad but I still try and get on with him for the kids. Every year ExH and I do halloween together with the kids so everyone is involved. Due to issues with my sister I also have my nieces and nephew staying with me at the minute so we agreed Exh would come over and stay the weekend so he can join in all the Halloween stuff with the kids.
DS14 struggles with anxiety and argues with his dad often so was nervous about this weekend. This morning Exh arrived and we'd had a letter from the hospital about DS14, nothing serious but knowing DS14 hates hospitals and gets incredibly anxious at the mention of them, ExH decides to wind him up by holding up the letter and saying "you need to have an operation so you'll need to isolate beforehand so can't come with us this weekend." I was livid that he'd think to say such a thing to DS knowing full well he wasn't doing well this morning and the fact that would really upset him anyway. I told DS he was joking and DS16 went to sit with him to help him with something to distract him whilst I moved into another room with Exh to ask him what the fuck he was playing at. Exh insisted he was clearly joking and we needed to lighten up a bit and then went back into the kitchen where DSs were and DS14 threw a screwed up ball of paper at Exh which hit Exh in the eye. Then Exh shouted at DS14 and said he was a "fucking spoiled little moron who needed to snap out of it and he better not ruin the weekend for everyone." I went to intervene and Exh said he was sick of me too and that I need to stay out of whatever happens with him and his sons. I said I won't have anyone talk to our sons like that and he needed to apologise and leave. Exh stormed upstairs to see DS18 and DS7 who had been upstairs the entire time and missed all of this. About 20 minutes later DS18 and 7 came downstairs and said that Exh had fallen asleep in DS18s room.
Exh has a chronic illness and is also on antibiotics for a kidney infection at the minute however that doesn't excuse his behaviour infront of DS this morning. I've left Exh to sleep hoping he'll apologise when he wakes up and that even though his behaviour was unacceptable it would be because he was feeling like shit and he'd need the rest. He was like this when I was still in a relationship with him but never infront of the kids and even though he argues with DS14 he never says stuff like that.
I've had to come to my mums this afternoon so I thought I'd bring all the kids so that they can get out of the house and everyone can be distracted from what happened this morning but DS14, 16 and 18 all wanted to stay at home despite DS14 saying "I want to stay at home but only if I'm with someone incase dad is still mad at me when he wakes up." He's at home with his brothers and seemed fine when we left but I don't know what I should do when I get home. I don't want DS14 to feel like shit all weekend because of what happened with Exh this morning. I thought we'd be able to have a good weekend together but within 20 minutes of arriving Exh had managed to fuck something up. Plus, if I were to make ExH leave, his drive home is about an hour and a half and considering he's ill I don't think it's a good idea to make him go on his own, I didn't even know he had a kidney infection until he phoned me about halloween sweets this morning before he arrived and he sounded off so I asked if everything was alright and that was when he told me.
I didn't realise how long this would be so thank you if you've made it this far.